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Why Happiness does not come Externally.

Updated on March 15, 2016
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What is happy? How do you define happiness?

For a starters, happiness is something created within ourselves.

Happiness is something created within ourselves, as well as found in our own life experiences. Someone might say happiness is when you get the present that you always have wanted at christmas. Others might say that happiness is what you feel when you are simply with your family at christmas. The thing we know for certain is that for different people happiness varies for each of us.
But ultimately it boils down to whether people find happiness from within, or depend on other sources to get close to it.

If someone can't achieve happiness, a lot of victims often rely on teachings that involve self help or other spiritual practices.
Self help books that aim to help them with surpassing their inner troubles, finding a balance in the mind. However this can be confused with a dependency of superficial happiness through ignoring any potential to overcome their actual problems; which takes understanding and acknowledging their pain. So like an infant to a mother, they become attatched and dependant on the other source of alternative awareness, rather than infusing it with themselves to achieve salvation; they use it for distraction because subconciously they fear the pain they will feel from patching up their wounds. Confusing external comfort with real self help and improvement is common when people must rely on a distraction to feel closer to happiness. Instead of overcoming their problems, it is easier to ignore the problem instead.

The Maze of the Mind - A Poem

People run and people hide,
forgetting what it is to have true pride,
ruled by superficial realities
without once living a real totality
of life,
of freedom,
and of unconditional love.
As one is slain by their own chain,
in a mind prison and a intricate game,
of "what if's" and uncertainty
never grasping life's true eternity,
and being confined and defined,
by other people and their insecurites;
painted on you by brushes built
by none the less the victims
of ourselves.

Today, we grow up like children relying on other people for comfort when we have a hard time. If this continues throughout our life, it does not help us build our own initiative to grow past the initial comfort zone of external comfort, that we are used to since a child. Without our inner stability we can not sustain ourselves with personal happiness, and will always seek it externally; which is not always reliable.

An example of external comfort:

Lilly, a young daughter of Samantha, has fallen over and grazed her knee from running too fast on the path. Instantaneously and before little Lily can understand what has happened, her mother intervenes and fusses over her in a very smothering way. Lily is then subjected to getting used to a sense of panic whenever something happens that she needs to learn from in order for it not to happen again.


A good way to prevent an early dependency for external comfort is to prompt the child to look within herself to understand the situation, and to use encouraging words that would help ignite the child's personal understanding, for it to not happen again. This will be beneficial for each person for the rest of their life, as they can depend on themselves to learn and grow from different experiences that they have had.


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    • Bella Sames profile image
      Author

      Annabella 14 months ago

      Blimey I thought you quoted someone else there and was like "Wow that is so true" then I scrolled up and it was my Hub! haha!

    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 14 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      "Without our inner stability we can not sustain ourselves with personal happiness, and will always seek it externally; which is not always reliable." - Very good point here. It is the same thing with Love as well, I may add. When we look for Love from the outside, in others, or from others/otherness, that is not a reliable option. An easier way is to just be Loving yourself (i.e. a pleasant Being) and as such, You will never need/seek external Love. You sort of become Love yourself. : )

      Great piece of writing - thank You!

      May Wakan Tanka guide your path.

    • Bella Sames profile image
      Author

      Annabella 16 months ago

      Thank you Harvey.

    • profile image

      Harvey Potter 17 months ago

      Well done :)

    • Bella Sames profile image
      Author

      Annabella 17 months ago

      No problem, I enjoyed writing this Hub as it is relatable to everyone.

      Thank you :)

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 17 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Very well said--'Happiness does not come externally.'

      I completely agree with the points you made in your hub.

      One has to search for happiness from within. No one can make you happy unless you decide to remain positive in the face of adversaries.

      Thank you for sharing this thought provoking hub!