You Just Found Out You Have Cancer
Four Things You Need
All of us that have survived cancer know that it can be beaten.
No one knows why some beat this and some don’t. But I pray that soon there will be a cure for all cancers.
There are four things needed in any order to help you through your ordeal, but not in any particular order.
1) Belief in God and that miracles do happen
2) Network of family and friends
3) A good medical team
4) A positive attitude
Share Your News with your Network of Family and Friends
When you are informed that you have cancer this is when you need your family, friends and loved ones around you, to help comfort you and share some of your grief. Do not keep quiet about this - share your news. You need help, and your family and friends need help, this is when you can all work together to support each other.
Remember your family and friends can only watch you and I believe this in one of the worst things that happens for them. They can’t help you with the treatment, pain, nausea, weakness, or the really ill feeling you have, in fact they can’t share this with you at all no matter how much they wish or pray. They can help you with the emotional comfort and support and be with you and encourage you and it’s your job to let them.
This is the time to talk about what is happening and what will happen. You may not know everything about the cancer or treatment yet, but you need to share your concerns, your feelings. This is the time that all your family, friends can come and carry some of your concerns, share your grief, do research. It’s your family and friends, do not spend time in the bedroom crying, this is when you need their love, support, concern and hugs. Talk it all out.
Never - never go to your doctor without taking a minimum of two people (three is even better) with you when you go to your doctor’s to find out exactly the kind of cancer, the treatment – in fact anytime you go to your doctor – do ‘not’ go by yourself. Why? Because, when you hear this startling news, prognosis and treatment you will not be able to take in all the information. If you have three people with you, between the three you should get all the correct information. Remember, the three of you will hear different things. Compare and if there is misunderstanding write down this concern, and question your doctor’s for clarification. If you are like me, I needed to know absolutely everything. The prognosis, the treatment, the effects of the treatment, what to expect, and how long. Make a list, otherwise, you won’t remember when you go see the doctor all your questions.
When you start the treatment, more than likely you will be told that your immune system is compromised and you should stay from anyone with coughs, colds, sniffles.
Be sure that the three people who you pick to go with you - tell the rest of your family and friends. Depending on what kind of cancer you have and where it is decide the treatment, how long, how often and what form of treatment it takes.
It could be radiation, surgery and chemo or a combination of all or just one. This is usually the time people have no idea what to say to you, and feel uncomfortable around you so they stay away. Do not take this, as they don’t love you anymore. Understand people do not know what to do, how to act or what to say.
You are going to be concentrating on taking treatments and getting well. Refer them to my HubPage on What, How and when do you talk to Cancer Patients. Perhaps your family or friends will do some research. Try to remember that people aren’t staying away or ignoring you because they don’t love you anymore, they are just uncomfortable around really sick people.
Need a head covering, wig, scarves, beanies or hats? Check out your local cancer center. Most will have head coverings for free. They are made from local people or donated. Usually very good selection.
Having a Good Medical Team
This is your entire doctor’s, oncologists, hospital, nurses, technicians, receptionists. Anyone who is treating you with while you are ill.
You have to have faith in your medical team and that they are doing their best for you.
If you don’t have faith in them, you can’t heal, because doubts crowd everything else out, and stops the healing process. Why are you having doubts? Try to find answers to this question and if you are still concerned, you might need to make a change. Change doctors, change the hospital but make a change or get more information to alleviate your fears.
You ‘must’ believe they are all working very hard for you to get well. They are doing their best for you. If you have any questions ask until you understand. If you don’t understand keep asking until you do.
Miracles do happen. There are miracles around you all the time. See that bird flying past your window. If that bird did not believe that he could build a nest, find food and create there would never be birds.
Don’t look for the miracle that is earth shattering, look for the small miracle. The little baby determined to walk, what a joy and miracle that is. Having that baby is a miracle. The miracle of flowers - take a look at bearded Iris.
It is very important it is to remain positive.
Positive is the opposite of negative. Put good thoughts in your mind every day. Whenever you start to feel blue, brush those negative thoughts away and replace it with something good.
Can’t think of anything good? Let me help you. Take a look outside. There is always something outside that is good. Look at the sky and watch it for a while and you will start to feel better. If God can make different weather, He can heal you. Take a look at the squirrels, bees, butterflies they are beautiful and busy. They aren’t ever negative! They are busy getting things all aligned up for the winter.
Turn off the TV from all those news programs and newspapers, for they are negative. Instead listen to a movie, music or something that is uplifting. Why are these mediums negative? Because bad news sells – good news does not sell. Stay tuned into healing yourself.
Another thing, write three good things that you can think of in your journal. Can’t think of anything? Yes you can, look at these suggestions.
- The coffee smells good
- The sun is shining
- You feel a bit better today
- You just received a phone call from your friend, family member
- You just received a get well card
- Your partner just told you he/she loves you
- You looked at your kids pictures and that made you feel good
- Your partner just prepared breakfast for you
- The music that you are listening to makes you feel good
- The bath you took last night made you feel very good
- The shower you took this morning was refreshing and feels good
There are many small things that you can find that are positive. All you have to do is look, hear, listen, feel or touch. Most of us forget the small things that make us feel good; usually we look for the big things. The big things are more difficult to find, forget the big things, look for the small ones that’s what give us pleasure every day. You can have a great day with the little things.
Treat yourself like your best friend (guess what – you are your best friend). Be nice to yourself. If you feel like going back to bed – do it and don’t feel guilty. You are healing yourself.
When you start making your positive list of three things each day. This is your list and when there comes that day you really can’t think of another thing – take out your list and read it. You probably will find that they all give you a good feeling. Remember you can have the same pleasure every day, we just don’t think of smelling that coffee/tea/hot chocolate as wonderful – but it is.
Stay away from the ‘what ifs’ they don’t help. Replace all these with a good thought.
Start another list, one that you can write down things that you like about yourself. Don’t get picky, if you like it – write it down. These lists are yours, you don’t need to share these with anyone, and this is for you alone. You can tell people, but don’t show them your lists, tell them to make their own.
Now you can take your positive list of things you felt good about and your list of what you like about yourself and when you really feel bad, reread them.
These lists will help you keep positive and being positive will help you heal.
What Cancer Can Not Do
I keep the below poem by my computer and reread it.