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Your abilities are different. Learn to accept other's abilities. Talents and Gifts.

Updated on October 27, 2013

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Did you know that some people do not think trees are wonderful?
Did you know that some people do not think trees are wonderful? | Source

Talents and gifts should be appreciated

Each of us has unique abilities that we normally call talents or gifts. Are you so competitive that you discount talents that others have? Do you celebrate other's gifts? Is one side of your brain so overdeveloped that it inhibits the other? Do you think that because you cannot understand it, it is not valid?

Humans have problems with these issues. Getting over those issues does create a more happy life.

Have you ever really thought about a typical American male criticizing a professional athlete? Just the thought is absurd. One of a few hundred men at any time can take a wooden bat and hit a 90+ mph curve ball 350 ft. But some old fat guy in his easy chair with a remote can criticize the batter and everyone just accepts that. That is really skewed.

Here is another fun one. A brilliant scientific mind cannot perceive the presence of an ethereal divine being. So he declares it does not exist. A superb electrical engineer sees a man juggling 6 flaming batons. He cannot phathom doing such a thing so he declares it useless and a waste of time. And likewise a brilliant artist sees a wonderful business plan and considers that of no value.

My wife is a great salesperson. That is just strange to me. But in fact here I am trying to sell you on my idea and my writing.

Some folks do not like this music. Fine

I am a hypocrite

I love to dance, but I do not like to watch dancing. I do not like rap music unless it is done just how I like it. I think I am above real estate and car salesmen, but I sell concepts to people all day long. I have disdain for lawyers but I make a lot of money from them. I hate government but I love a good road. Doctors are pompous jerks, unless I am sick. Writers that write to make money are not pure writers, yet I get paid to write. I do not like most preachers, but I am one.

If there is one phrase that fits me, it is: Do as I say not as I do.

Look at all that. And I am cognizant of it, and I still engage in it. For every example that I just gave there is a jealousy involved. These folks do something better than me. These folks have other talents than mine. So why in the heck to I begrudge them??

Do you hold resentments?

Do you find yourself criticizing another's talent because they are better than you at it?

See results

So why do we do it?

My best guess on this is something like instinct and survival of the fittest. Some primordial urge to come out on top. Some innate need that our genetic makeup continue. That is the nature part.

On the nurture side just look at how we spend most our young life. Have you ever heard of the Bell Curve for grading school work? It is a notion that we compare the students to one another and certain percentages do well, certain do poorly and most are in the middle. Maybe it is just me but, that always seemed like it meant the teacher could only teach well to a small percentage of students. I have been is classes where everyone really got the lesson and did great on tests. However according to the Bell Curve some had to fail. That is how we teach our youth. And so it is only natural that we compare ourselves to others and need to put them down so we can rise above.

I think that is sad.

Trees grow in height partly in order to be above other trees so they get more sun.

Even nature has competition of course.
Even nature has competition of course. | Source

Well even spouses play the game of oneupmanship.

So this notion of building others up is really important. It is counter intuitive. When things go badly it is always someone else's fault. Poor families crippled by a bad economy cannot really blame the government or Wall Street. They end up putting the other spouse down because that is who is closest. All of the sudden sometimes problems become the product of the other not having the same talents. And we lose our perspective because it is clouded by negative.

But this can be broken. It simply takes effort to build the other up. And with that comes the gentle rebuilding of ourselves. And life gets better. And we begin again to see the good in others that is not in us. And then we are in a spot of mutual dependence which fosters positive self esteem for both parties and we move forward with gratitude and optimism.

Sun rise or sun set? Does it really matter?

Many folks love the morning and many the night. We should give them that.
Many folks love the morning and many the night. We should give them that. | Source

Spend time building up and appreciating.

Sometimes it just feels good to vent on someone else. So be it. But then we must move on and encourage. One without the other is misery that wants company, and surely it will find it. But if we look to build up one another we end up building each other up and a synergism is created. Water is good to drink. Fire is good for warmth and cooking. Use them both, but do not put down water because it does not keep you warm, or fire because it does not quench your thirst.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      How funny indeed -- You are a Black woman Real Estate agent. My goodness why don't you just become a white middle aged man who is a lawyer. hihihihi. Isn't fun being us? I mean it is just plain a blast being us.

      Do not tell everyone. How fun it is to be just who we are. Then everyone might start doing it and then who would we "preach" to.

      I watched with love your conversion (including Bill's prodding) to being a you writer. Stars shine brightest when being them.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      4 years ago from USA

      Hey, what was that wise crack about real estate agents? (Don't worry, I'm smiling here)

      I remember when I was the worship leader at my church. It was difficult because everyone thought worship leaders should be men, because "men are better worship leaders". But, I didn't apply for the job, I was asked by the minister to do it. I'm black, I'm a woman, and I like me some good ol' gospel music. I'm different than all the other worship leaders so I was met with the evil side of men who wanted my job. The congregation loved the mix of a little gospel here and there, but the guys, well... they fought and fought and fought. Eventually, I retired and moved out of the area and the position stayed vacant for a very long time because the minister was no fool. All the men who lined up jockeying for the position were denied immediately. The point of me sharing that story is to say that I agree with you, that we are all different and we should respect the different gifts God has given us.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      JPSO138 I am greater than you. How funny that would be. Yes you speak truth. But it is the humorous human condition, is the person we resuscitate less than us first responders? Nope and never.

      We do our job. End of damned story. We save as you have countless.

      I hope we can be a cog so they can step higher than us.

    • JPSO138 profile image


      4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      Very well written and the message is clear. True indeed, where we go there are always people who are lesser or greater than ourselves. If we do not accept this, then we can never be happy and content.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well Denise, what a pleasure it was looking over your page and reading about patience. I will enjoy your talents and gifts and have already learned from them. Nice to meet you and thanks for dropping in.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Your closing remark says it all, if we put down others simply because they do things better than us, then we have failed indeed. I play the piano. Many times, I have had other pianists say that they would give their lives to play like I do. I would much rather that they tell me how much they enjoy the music that I create. Wishing for what others have just makes us miserable. Why not celebrate the talents and gifts given to all, then we can be happier people!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks much ChitrangadaSharan you just built me up. That is very cool.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Great hub with an important message!

      You are right that we must accept others as they are. I loved your concluding paragraph--the comparisons. Nice examples and very good pictures.

      Enjoyed reading your thought provoking hub! Thanks!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      MsDora, please forgive. I often wish I gentle and kind and more wise like you. But I am getting over resenting you for it.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Martin, That doggone poetry of yours. Awesome. But I admit to jealousy. I would love to be a poet. Thanks much for being you.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, you share common sense in a very unique way. I like your illustrations. For example: 'My wife is a great salesperson. That is just strange to me. But in fact here I am trying to sell you on my idea and my writing." So, I'll appreciate what I do and admire what other people do without criticism or jealousy. Thank you for another good lesson.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      4 years ago from San Francisco

      I was extremely good at bringing out individual's best when I became a "big shot" with the Freemasons. Great skill to have in the charity business. Thank you for this.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Brian, my momma was not much on touchy feely feel good stuff. When she got older and was asking about her life. Together we agreed that she touched people through her cooking. And in that way she did love. And build us up --- like you. Thanks

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      someonewhoknows, so often love is the answer to all problems. Sometimes that is the toughest thing to do, but it is the beginning of so many good things. Thank you for coming by and visiting me out west here.

    • Brian Prickril profile image

      Brian Prickril 

      4 years ago from Savannah, GA

      Wonderful message on an interesting topic. Jealousy, and a hurt ego are probably most often to blame. Those negative emotions of course lead us down a bad spiral; one that I work hard to avoid. Thanks.

    • someonewhoknows profile image


      4 years ago from south and west of canada,north of ohio

      People need to have a more loving attitude with those around them.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I sure am glad I am not a brain surgeon or rocket scientist ;-)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      There is great truth in the message that we all have unique abilities, and yet so few people realize it about themselves, and I find that sad. Hopefully this message will reach some who need it. Blessings to you my friend; have a great Sunday.


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