- Quality of Life & Wellness
Your abilities are different. Learn to accept other's abilities. Talents and Gifts.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Talents and gifts should be appreciated
Each of us has unique abilities that we normally call talents or gifts. Are you so competitive that you discount talents that others have? Do you celebrate other's gifts? Is one side of your brain so overdeveloped that it inhibits the other? Do you think that because you cannot understand it, it is not valid?
Humans have problems with these issues. Getting over those issues does create a more happy life.
Have you ever really thought about a typical American male criticizing a professional athlete? Just the thought is absurd. One of a few hundred men at any time can take a wooden bat and hit a 90+ mph curve ball 350 ft. But some old fat guy in his easy chair with a remote can criticize the batter and everyone just accepts that. That is really skewed.
Here is another fun one. A brilliant scientific mind cannot perceive the presence of an ethereal divine being. So he declares it does not exist. A superb electrical engineer sees a man juggling 6 flaming batons. He cannot phathom doing such a thing so he declares it useless and a waste of time. And likewise a brilliant artist sees a wonderful business plan and considers that of no value.
My wife is a great salesperson. That is just strange to me. But in fact here I am trying to sell you on my idea and my writing.
Some folks do not like this music. Fine
I am a hypocrite
I love to dance, but I do not like to watch dancing. I do not like rap music unless it is done just how I like it. I think I am above real estate and car salesmen, but I sell concepts to people all day long. I have disdain for lawyers but I make a lot of money from them. I hate government but I love a good road. Doctors are pompous jerks, unless I am sick. Writers that write to make money are not pure writers, yet I get paid to write. I do not like most preachers, but I am one.
If there is one phrase that fits me, it is: Do as I say not as I do.
Look at all that. And I am cognizant of it, and I still engage in it. For every example that I just gave there is a jealousy involved. These folks do something better than me. These folks have other talents than mine. So why in the heck to I begrudge them??
Do you hold resentments?
Do you find yourself criticizing another's talent because they are better than you at it?
So why do we do it?
My best guess on this is something like instinct and survival of the fittest. Some primordial urge to come out on top. Some innate need that our genetic makeup continue. That is the nature part.
On the nurture side just look at how we spend most our young life. Have you ever heard of the Bell Curve for grading school work? It is a notion that we compare the students to one another and certain percentages do well, certain do poorly and most are in the middle. Maybe it is just me but, that always seemed like it meant the teacher could only teach well to a small percentage of students. I have been is classes where everyone really got the lesson and did great on tests. However according to the Bell Curve some had to fail. That is how we teach our youth. And so it is only natural that we compare ourselves to others and need to put them down so we can rise above.
I think that is sad.
Trees grow in height partly in order to be above other trees so they get more sun.
Well even spouses play the game of oneupmanship.
So this notion of building others up is really important. It is counter intuitive. When things go badly it is always someone else's fault. Poor families crippled by a bad economy cannot really blame the government or Wall Street. They end up putting the other spouse down because that is who is closest. All of the sudden sometimes problems become the product of the other not having the same talents. And we lose our perspective because it is clouded by negative.
But this can be broken. It simply takes effort to build the other up. And with that comes the gentle rebuilding of ourselves. And life gets better. And we begin again to see the good in others that is not in us. And then we are in a spot of mutual dependence which fosters positive self esteem for both parties and we move forward with gratitude and optimism.
Sun rise or sun set? Does it really matter?
Spend time building up and appreciating.
Sometimes it just feels good to vent on someone else. So be it. But then we must move on and encourage. One without the other is misery that wants company, and surely it will find it. But if we look to build up one another we end up building each other up and a synergism is created. Water is good to drink. Fire is good for warmth and cooking. Use them both, but do not put down water because it does not keep you warm, or fire because it does not quench your thirst.