ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

A recipe for a happier life

Updated on August 23, 2017
JanTUB profile image

Jan T Urquhart Baillie has many sides to her personality, born out of a difficult life, and success due to her optimism and practical skills

Happiness doesn't always come easy, but...

... you can make the best of what life deals you and be happier. Have a positive attitude is so easy for someone to say, but how do you do that when everything around you is so negative?

What follows is a recipe for making the most of your life as it is now to gain a happier life for yourself.

Image: iStockphoto[dot]com

What is happiness?

From Dictionary[dot]com:

–noun

1. the quality or state of being happy.

2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy

Happiness comes from within

Discover what make happiness

Pride in yourself and your achievements, satisfaction with your 'lot', contentment in all that you do, and serenity are all the psychological traits of a happy you.

Acquiring friends and wealth are two of the earthly ways of gaining happiness.

Religious beliefs attribute happiness to love of God or a Higher Being.

Biological problems can influence our feeling unhappy.

Each individual has his/her own reasons for happiness, but always it comes from inside the person — whether physiological or psychological.

Are you addicted to unhappiness? - Buy this inspiring book on Amazon

Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want
Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want

From the back cover:

"Everyone is born with the potential to live fulfilled lives, but many of us find it difficult to realize that potential. Now the best-selling author team of Drs. Martha and William Pieper help you understand how you may have unknowingly become an addict to unhappiness."

 

Happy or sad?

What do you think makes one happy?

Recipe 1: How to stay unhappy - and have a miserable life

Source

Ingredients list for an Unhappy life - not in any special order

  • Tell yourself you are a bad person
  • Look at all your lumpy bumpy bits in the mirror
  • Constantly criticise your life partner
  • Harp at your kids, don't give them any praise at all
  • Say: "I can't"
  • Sit around doing little
  • Be positive you can't do this, or that
  • Don't smile
  • Stay indoors
  • Don't look around you to see good stuff
  • Berate yourself for all the bad things you think you've done.
  • Nurture your guilt
  • Be angrrrry!

Method

for an unhappy life

Add in all of the ingredients or as many as you want.

Stir and stir and stir around in your head.

Simmer for years and years until you don't feel anything but miserable.

Serve up your misery to all who are around you.

Watch out for these:

  1. Guilt
  2. Greed
  3. Destructive self talk
  4. No pleasure in simple pleasures
  5. Anger

Seeking happiness?

Are you looking in the wrong places?

In our materialistic society, we are conditioned by advertisers to buy this, we must have that, get a bigger house, have two or three cars per household, have/get/buy more, more, more...

In TV ads we are encouraged to think that we will be ostracised if we don't have a certain product, or live in a so-called bad neighbourhood.

What if our circumstances prohibit us from moving to a 'better' area? Does that make us bad? Of course not! So we only have one car in our family, does that make us unworthy of friends or love? Of course not!

Don't allow these influences to change how you perceive what is good for your well-being. Always let your inner spirit be your guide.

Look inside yourself for the key to happiness.

Anger Management for Everyone shows you how to cope with life's adversity, unfairness, and disappointment, so you can successfully “put anger in its proper place and live a vital, happy, and upbeat life

— The book authors

Hear Tony Robbins speak on letting go of anger

Angry? Read how to manage it - on Amazon

The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life

The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose—or help someone else to choose—a better, more spiritually enlightened path.

 

Recipe 2: How to get happy - and enjoy a much happier life

Ingredients list for a Happy life - in no particular order

  • Smile a lot
  • Think about what IS good in your life
  • Give thanks for what you DO have
  • Give of yourself to others, whatever you can
  • Say nice things to you about you
  • Be glad about being alive
  • Keep a notebook or journal about the good stuff
  • Don't sweat the small stuff!
  • List all the good things in your life today
  • Tell yourself you ARE happy
  • Go outside into the sunshine
  • Take a (short) walk
  • Laugh

Method

for a happy life

Take all the ingredients, or as many as you like.

Use large quantities, not small.

Mix them together until of a happy consistency.

Bake them in a moderate 'oven' until well done when poked in the centre. The poking implement should come out free of unhappy ingredients.

Serve daily for a happy existence!

Hints for best results - for cooking up your happy life


Image: iStockphoto[dot]com

It's all small stuff - on Amazon

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways To Keep The Little Things From Taking Over Your Life
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways To Keep The Little Things From Taking Over Your Life

Reading this little book can help you change your thought patterns. It can give you insight into your unhappy habits.

 

Hint 2. Change your self talk

Encourage yourself

Instead of saying:

  • "I can't do this!"

Try saying:

  • "How can I do this?

What do I need to do to make this work?"

I grew up with hearing what a bad person I was. Constantly criticised about every little thing I did. Nothing was right for my mother. I had to sweep the floor again, no matter how good a job I thought I had done.

If I came second in class, it wasn't first.

This developed a habit in me of 'knocking' as we call it in Australia. I would run movies in my head about things that I had done and ask myself over and over why I did it in this or that way.

As I grew in my own self worth, I stopped this bad habit.

Self talk can be very negative, or it can be very positive.

Learn to tell yourself good things about what you are experiencing.

You'll discover how powerful that habit can be.

Hint 3. Rid yourself of guilt

earned and unearned

Guilt is a burden that you don't need to carry.

If only, ...

...won't change what has happened.

If you did something to someone that has earned you guilt, then forgive yourself, and ask the other person for forgiveness.

If you are carrying around guilt that has come from something you think you should have done, let it go. You can't change the past. You can only affect the future.

Sometimes we feel guilty about something that was not our fault. This is known as unearned guilt. Perhaps you survived when someone else didn't, from the same accident. This is a very common form of unearned guilt.

(I first learned about this notion from Dr Nathaniel Branden's book: "Honouring the Self")

Maybe you feel guilty because you were given more skills and talents than your siblings. That is not something you have done, so how can you have guilt about it?

Letting go of the guilt can be freedom in itself.

Read this - my copy has highlighter all through it!

Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Tranformation
Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Tranformation

"Tell me how a person judges his or her self-esteem," says pioneering psychologist Nathaniel Branden, "and I will tell you how that person operates at work, in love, in sex, in parenting, in every important aspect of existence--and how high he or she is likely to rise. The reputation you have with yourself—your self-esteem—is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life."

 

Hint 4. Learn to like yourself

You are so very nice

We have been conditioned to not like what we see in the mirror by sales pitches aimed at selling us the fountain of youth.

One of my favourite TV shows is how to look good naked. It's not about being brazen and immoral, it's about being comfortable in your own skin.

Many years ago a popular psychologist, Dr Irene Kasorla, appeared on a daytime variety show in Sydney television, and her catchcry was: give yourself a kiss.

Here's a good recipe

Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Worry Less and Enjoy Life More
Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Worry Less and Enjoy Life More

Do you have trouble going to bed at night when there’s a mess in the kitchen? Do you think you would be happier if only you could lose weight, be a better parent, work smarter, reduce stress, exercise more, and make better decisions?

 

Share your tips - for cooking up happier lives

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • JanTUB profile imageAUTHOR

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 

      9 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to RinchenChodron] Thanks for dropping in!

    • profile image

      RinchenChodron 

      9 years ago

      You did a great job on this lens. Five stars and a Fav.

    • JanTUB profile imageAUTHOR

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 

      9 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to mukunda22] Thanks. Glad you stopped by.

    • kateloving profile image

      Kate Loving Shenk 

      9 years ago from Lancaster PA

      Greatly thought out!! Good Job!!

    • JanTUB profile imageAUTHOR

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 

      9 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to bdkz] Thank you for saying so!

    • profile image

      bdkz 

      9 years ago

      This is SO creative : )

    • JanTUB profile imageAUTHOR

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 

      9 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to BevsPaper] Thanks for visiting, glad you liked it!

    • JanTUB profile imageAUTHOR

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 

      9 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to sandyspider] I didn't think about no mess! How cool, thanks.

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      9 years ago

      A very good recipe for life! Well done Jan!

    • SandyMertens profile image

      Sandy Mertens 

      9 years ago from Frozen Tundra

      Nice recipe lens. And no mess in the kitchen. Perhaps we should all reflex on what makes us happy!

    • JanTUB profile imageAUTHOR

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 

      9 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to rms] Thanks heaps

    • aka-rms profile image

      Robin S 

      9 years ago from USA

      Very nice!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)