The problem of denying there is a problem
She rises early, 6.0 a.m. as always, proceeds down the stairs from bedroom to kitchen. Quiet as a mouse....
She fills the coffeemachine and switches it on. Soon the wonderful gurgling sound can be heard and the smell of good, ground coffee fills the air.,, but she turns her back on this and walks to the sitting room straight over to a beautiful cut/glass decanter. She chooses her favourite glass and pours the dark red liquid into it. Sip, sip, slowly, as she walks back to the kitchen with its delicious aroma of coffee. She takes 2 of her favourite china cups and saucers and places them on the counter. No mugs, ugh. How she loves the bone china delicate cups.
Yet it's the sherry she continues to sip., .By the time she has emptied the glass she rushes to the sink. No time to get to a bathroom. She throws up! Not only sherry but the tell/tale jet black fluid that can only mean one thing. Stomach blood. She vomits until there is only dry reaching left, then stands up straight taking deep breaths, cleans out the sink, and immediatelygoes to the decanter and pours another glass of her poison. She sips slowly, knowing from experience that if this drink stays down she'll be ok,........But today it doesn't..................Over the sink again she throws up more of the tar like black liquid and watches it proceed down the drainage system. Her stomach hurts.That's no problem, as soon as a modicum of the slick, dark red sherry will stay inside her...... she'll be fine.
She doesn't have a problem. She's not swigging rough cider or strong whisky from a bottle, she likes a few sips , ladylike, from cut glass......to start her day.
Third glass. What a difference!!!!!!! Stomach settles, no more vomiting, so she downs a small glassof the liquid in one gulp. Ah! That's better. Now she's ready to begin her day.
No one would guess if they saw her now in her spotless, modern kitchen with the glorious smell of early morning coffee filling the air........
Time to wake the children.......beautiful, smiling mum helping her 5yr old daughter out of bed.
'It's a school day, darling, time to get up.' Mother and daughter can hear the 7 yr old already making his way to the bathroom, followed by the sound of dad rushing from the 'en suite' in their bedroom, fixing his tie as he goes, he races down the stairs, pours himself a coffee, gulps it down as he gathers all he needs for the office,. After half a cup of coffee, he has to run, shouting 'love you' to his wife and children, then jumps behind the steering wheel of the smartest car in the area.
Meanwhile, the children enjoy their breakfast not noticing mum slipping her hand behind the curtain to retrieve her glass, drinking down......So much better now. She's feeling 'normal '.
A knock at the door gets the children excited because they know it will be the 'big girl' an older friend who walks them to school.
They happily wave'bye bye' to mum, who looks beautiful as always, by this time of the morning.
Vomiting finished with, enough sherry inside her to give her a little sparkle, her hair brushed to perfection, and just enough make up on to look gorgeous without being 'over the top' for this time of day., for a morning at home.
She closes the door with a sigh of relief, 'phew!'. Now the day belongs to her. She climbs the stairs to begin with the bedrooms, picking up a doll on her way into her daughters' room. When the room looks perfect, she does the same with the other bedrooms, but needs just a little glass of her poison before tackling the bathrooms. Everything looks lovely, satin cushions in place. No problem.
No.. There's no problem apart from a little tiredness, so she rewards herself for cleaning upstairs with another glass of her favourite tipple.. She sits to relax in her favourite chair, and slowly drifts away into sleep.
When she wakes , the clock on the wall tells her that it's almost time for the children to arrive home from school. Begins to fix their meal with the help of 2 glasses of her best friend. No problem,... When the children come running through the door, she hugs them, asks them about their day. The most attentive, loving mother imaginable. (so there can't be a problem, can there?).
Later she prepares dinner for herself and her husband. He's tired as usual, and talks about his day as they eat their meal together.He pours her a large glass of red wine , which she puts to her lips as though it's her first drink of the day. She doesn't get drunk , so 'no problem' right? In fact she never gets drunk, but she needs just the right amount of her dark red poison , to keep her at the right level to function. For how long? How long can this 'level' stay the same?She's not worried, She doesn't have a problem.
A beautiful home, a hard working and loving husband, adorable, intelligent children, the latest fashions. She always looks smart. Perfect family. No problem.
For as long as she believes it. there's no problem.............