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I am the caretaker of my 72 year old father. I am wondering if he may have Alzh

  1. Kebennett1 profile image59
    Kebennett1posted 8 years ago

    I am the caretaker of my 72 year old father.  I am wondering if he may have Alzheimers onset.

    He is mean to me and my mother. He yells at both of us. We can't do anything right. We don't answer his questions to his satisfaction, or talk loud enough for him to hear, or we are too loud! If I don't address him, even if I am looking at him and I am talking to him he yells at me. Are you talking to me? He says I shouldn't have my lap dog and my mom shoudn't have hers. But he has his lap dog. He hates it if I have any company. No one wants to stay with him so I can get away or even go take care of business because he is so hard to get along with. I have to do everything by his schedule too.

  2. profile image49
    Paula10posted 8 years ago

    Well, if your dad was not a difficult person before and now you are noticing that he is a bit strange you should take him to a doctor, so he can be evaluated. There are many kinds of senior's mental health problems ( dementia, for example), however just a doctor can help you with this question, if he really has changed (  your mother is the best person to tell you) he may be suffering from something serious. Good luck!

  3. Hiperion profile image60
    Hiperionposted 8 years ago

    We can not neglect on health. When we donĀ“t know the better to do is to a doctor. Maybe your father are not listening very well and that irritates him.

  4. LadyHub profile image55
    LadyHubposted 8 years ago

    I think you need a doctors opinion. Plus I don't think you should put up with the shouting. I'd write him a note stating that you want to be there for him and that you care for him very much but that if he is going to be angry and frustrated that it makes it more difficult for you to communicate with him.
    Try burning some essential oils in a oil candle burner when in his presence as these may help to relax him. The following essential oils are useful for dementia and Alzheimers disease. Basil, Clovebud, Peppermint and Rosemary. Follow instructions as per box.
    Also take a look at your fathers diet. Make sure he is getting the best possible nutrition. Vitamins that support the nerves are the B Vitamin group. Vitamin B3 supports schizophrenia and B12 to prevent neurological disorders. Seek advice before giving such Vitamins to a person.
    Good food sources include porridge oats, eggs, milk, fish, liver and fortified breads. I hope this helps.

  5. Alex Mayor profile image56
    Alex Mayorposted 8 years ago


    Behaviour problems is one of the symptoms of Dementia but also of some other diseases. I recognize the shouting part which is very difficult to handle and is the number one problem for caregivers. Seeing the person change whom you love is very hard and confronting. Keep in mind that he is probably shouting at you because of his disease, it is not the person itself. If you could understand his behaviour than you will probably accept it and don't feel hurt when he does it.

    You should indeed see a doctor, there are many ways in which you could reduce the caregiver burden. I always tell people that they should seek help in order to be capable of caring for their loved ones as long as possible. By not searching for help, you will get a burn out and after that your father will not have someone to take care off. What works very well for Dementia or a Somatic disease is daycare. This is a place where people visit a few days a week. The person will have some professional care and a meal and some entertainment. In the evening he will go home again. The good part is that the caregiver will have some time for himself and by that being capable to give care without starting to burn out.

    If it is Dementia (Alzheimer is not the only form, just the most wellknown), the doctor could also give medication to reduce the shouting. This could be a fase in Dementia and will pass by eventually.

    Good luck wit it and don' t hesitate to find some help in caregiving. Don' t feel guilty by seeing a doctor behind his back, or against his will, you need a professional oppinion.

  6. valerie selau 14 profile image45
    valerie selau 14posted 8 years ago

    No No No , that's not nice but why he does being means to you ? Don't being upset ... go and tell someone about what is happening ???

  7. poketo secret profile image42
    poketo secretposted 8 years ago


  8. oncebitten2xshy profile image53
    oncebitten2xshyposted 8 years ago

    If this behavior is a departure from how he used to be, definitely see if you can have him evaluated by doctors.

    Many things could be going on with his brain.
    I, myself, have neurological lyme disease which has affected my brain chemistry, moods, short-term memory, IQ, and also now problems with gait. Basically have the equivalent of stage 3-4 alzheimers because of this bacteria.

    Disseminated lyme disease doesn't effect everyone exactly the same and because testing is only about 46% accurate, it's difficult to diagnose without seeing a lyme-literate doctor.

    Anyway, my dad, although not the most agreeable person to begin with, became even more irascible with Hydrocephalus("water on the brain"). Mood/dementia, gait and urination issues is the triad of symptoms, but my dad had the first two (mood and balance problems).

    Have you ever seen older people walking with a shuffle?

    Most doctors won't do anything about Hydrocephalus in the elderly from what I gather, which I think is a societal malady.
    But my mum insisted on a procedure for a shunt and he's doing better.

  9. G.L.A. profile image81
    G.L.A.posted 8 years ago

    I agree with some of the others here... My Dad suffered from Alzheimers for many years before he died of complications. His symtoms included confusion, inability to 'think' for himself, and severe memory loss.. but very little aggressive behavior such as you describe. I believe Alex is right.. it sounds dementia related, and your dad really should be seen by a physician. There are medications that could help him, which would make it so much easier for you, the caretaker as well. I know how hard your job is. Keep your chin up...

  10. tedl profile image35
    tedlposted 8 years ago

    He might be further along than you think with the progression of the disease. Have your doctor examine him again, Most of all, hang in there and give him all the love and dignity that you can muster. God bless you.

  11. spirituality profile image61
    spiritualityposted 8 years ago

    This must be upsetting. Shouting is not a central Alzheimer's sign. It's more like a by product: people are loosing their hold on life and shout to make up for the confusion.

    Without some sort of memory loss visible, I would not say it was Alzheimer's. On the other hand, if you think he constantly needs someone to be with him, I think there are probably reasons. And those reasons may indicate Alzheimer's.

    Do consider putting him in a home. And yes, a doctor's opinion is vital at this point.

  12. profile image45
    miss leoposted 7 years ago

    I lost my husband in August 09.  He was diagnosed with Alz in 05 but the signs were there several years before.  We were in denial.  I do think each case is different depending on the patient's personality but the basics are the same.  Yes, at times he yelled, accused me of some very weired things, did weired things, etc.  The best advice I can give is to get diagnosed and then get him on medication.  Also, learn as much as you can about what to expect in behavior changes.  That's important.  We had to change locks because he would get out and wander around the neighborhood, which is a typical action for alz. patients but can be very dangerous.

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