My fiancee, 90% of the time, is a dream. She is warm, sweet, fun, and a great mother. But out...
of the blue, she can be terribly jealous. She often assumes I am looking at other women when she noticed them before I do. Some people say to ignore it, so as not to feed it. Others say to nip it in the bud and say "I don't appreciate this at all, it could ruin our relationship". She was married to a man who used to beat on her and now she's with me, and I'm (dare I say) extremely friendly. It bothers her that I talk to the (male or female) grocery store clerk, for example. I try to give her lots and lots of love, and tell her how much I love her every day. Have you any advice?
Be patient. Her experiences from the past will cause her behavior to be less than her best when her security is "threatened" Realizing it isn't your intention to be with another will come in time as she grows to trust that despite these outbursts you have remained, not just loyal but patient.
In time you will need to bring the issue to light and deal with it. Since we weren't given a time frame and only you can determine when she has been given a fair and adequate time to see your sincerity, you will have to make that decision yourself
My advice, if you do want it to work and this isn't really bothering you but you want/need her to be secure. Be patient and understanding. If it does bother you, still be patient, and listen. If you do it right she will tell you what the issue is and you can move forward to work together at solving this. Either way you will be working together to achieve the same desire.
i suggest if you are truly committed to her that you both go seek counseling.... she might still percieve herself as a victim who has been hurt so much by life,, she is trying to prevent herself by being hurt again in a hypervigilant kind of way. I will accuse him and catch ihim in the act before i get hurt.... it is a strange way of thinking.... trust issues make or break a relationship... even when the other party is innocent. maybe she even believes that men and women cannot be friends... who knows... but communication and sensitivity is the key. if you ignore this though and pursue this relationship to an outcome of marriage, it will haunt you for ever. one cannot be with a person 24/7 and then the unhealed wounds of her past will torment her to the point of tormenting you. a no win situation for anyone concerned.... good luck and god bless.
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