My fiancee, 90% of the time, is a dream. She is warm, sweet, fun, and a great m

  1. profile image47
    bbbbryanposted 7 years ago

    My fiancee, 90% of the time, is a dream.  She is warm, sweet, fun, and a great mother.  But out...

    of the blue, she can be terribly jealous.  She often assumes I am looking at other women when she noticed them before I do.  Some people say to ignore it, so as not to feed it.  Others say to nip it in the bud and say "I don't appreciate this at all, it could ruin our relationship".  She was married to a man who used to beat on her and now she's with me, and I'm (dare I say) extremely friendly.  It bothers her that I talk to the (male or female) grocery store clerk, for example.  I try to give her lots and lots of love, and tell her how much I love her every day.  Have you any advice?

  2. hillrider profile image61
    hillriderposted 7 years ago

    Be patient. Her experiences from the past will cause her behavior to be less than her best when her security is "threatened" Realizing it isn't your intention to be with another will come in time as she grows to trust that despite these outbursts you have remained, not just loyal but patient.

    In time you will need to bring the issue to light and deal with it. Since we weren't given a time frame and only you can determine when she has been given a fair and adequate time to see your sincerity, you will have to make that decision yourself
    .
    My advice, if you do want it to work and this isn't really bothering you but you want/need her to be secure. Be patient and understanding. If it does bother you, still be patient, and listen. If you do it right she will tell you what the issue is and you can move forward to work together at solving this. Either way you will be working together to achieve the same desire.

  3. meow48 profile image72
    meow48posted 7 years ago

    i suggest if you are truly committed to her that you both go seek counseling.... she might still percieve herself as a victim who has been hurt so much by life,, she is trying to prevent herself by being hurt again in a hypervigilant kind of way.  I will accuse him and catch ihim in the act before i get hurt.... it is a strange way of thinking.... trust issues make or break a relationship... even when the other party is innocent.  maybe she even believes that men and women cannot be friends... who knows... but communication and sensitivity is the key.  if you ignore this though and pursue this relationship to an outcome of marriage, it will haunt you for ever.  one cannot be with a person 24/7 and then the unhealed wounds of her past will torment her to the point of tormenting you.  a no win situation for anyone concerned.... good luck and god bless.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)