How do you cope with the thought of your own death?
Calling all you 'older' (ahem) writers out there. Do you find yourself becoming a more melancholy person as you get older? Does your mortality begin to hit home? If it does, how do you cope with it and stop yourself becoming just an old misery guts?
a few months ago i got sick for the first time in my life, i mean sick enough to end up in the hospital. the docs were acting like i had cancer or something like that and it scared the crap out of my family. they were even more bothered because i didn't really care. if i'm going to die, so be it but there is no way i'm going to lose sleep over it. i've had a pretty good life so when i die, i die. the end.
It was only a few years ago I really got it that the universe was not going to make an exception in my case. I too was going to die. At first it was a bit of a shock. I went off to the gym and vowed to walk miles every day and exist on oats and groats and then one day, I bowed to reality and accepted the situation. Now ,I am very comfy with the idea of my own demise-- and everybody else's too, for that matter.
It's a very freeing feeling and oddly enough makes me enjoy and appreciate life more, not less. I don't worry about it. It is just a fact of life, until it isn't anymore. Getting old is scary when you are outside of it, but when you just accept the reality of it and are inside it, it is absolutely marvelous and nothing to be afraid of. Knowing I am going to die has made it possible for me to really live.
I do find that I get more melancholy as I get older. I was not prepared for the falling apart of the human body. Really caught me off guard to face varying ailments everyday that keep me from getting out and doing things.
Death does not frighten me, but illness before death, pain etc. does cause me some anxiety thinking about it. There really is no escape.
I'm not really sure whether I am dead yet. But if you are referring to my impending demise, I'll let you know when I have reached that stage.
A person who is always aware of death will by nature tend to be good to others and more rational in behavior; Awareness of death may help in getting rid of vain tendencies like amassing of wealth, egoism etc.
Death is NOT the preseve of the old.
The young die, the strong die, and ultimately we all die.
Death itself is a constant reminder of our human mortality, one can not escape it.
The way to "cope" with death is know; that in order to ascribe life with any meaning, death has to have meaning too.
This is the only logical position. Because when you remove all value from death, you remove all value from life, because life ultimately results in death.
You are not your body. You are a spirit soul residing within a body. When your body dies, your soul puts on a new body. The spirit soul cannot be cut, burned, or destroyed. It is eternal.
Can I answer? I'm only 35, but I like this question!
I can't remember the exact date I became aware of my own mortality, but it was pretty young, in my early twenties somewhere. I just suddenly 'got it', that I was going to die. And it was fine. I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and acknowledging that it's a very sad thing that we don't get to hang around this Earth forever. I will always feel sad about dying, my own death and the deaths of other people, but I've accepted that it's okay to be sad about it. In the rest of my life that knowledge that I'm going to die is kind of with me all the time, but not in a morbid and melancholy way, in a 'I'M STILL HERE, HOW FANTASTIC!' kind of way. So that every day is a gift, and the fact that I'm here at all in the first place is pretty bloody brilliant.
I think it depends on whether you dwell on the fact that you're going to die, or perhaps just treasure the fact that you're still here. Both of my grandmothers are still around, and each has the opposite attitude of the other: my Grandma Dora has been telling us for years that she's not got long left, but she's still going strong; my Grandma Freda has never really mentioned dying and has always just seemed happy to be alive, and has always made the most of every day. Out of the two I would say that my Grandma Freda is the happier of the two in her old age.
My friend lost her husband this week (he was only 37), and it doesn't make sense to me that we should only start thinking about death when we think we're approaching it. I think we should talk about it more from a young age, so that we can accept it and learn not to be scared of it.
As I read your question, I was not going to answer because like my friend here, I am only 35. But I think that I am uniquely qualified to answer your question my friend. I had my first encounter with the other side at the age of 17 with my first heart attack and stroke. After my recovery I knew that my condition was progressive and irreversible so I accepted it early on.
As the years passed, my husband and I had our 3 kids. By the time I was 25, my doctor announced, after my second heart attack, that there was too much damage to several of my organs,because of my lupus. So to be honest, I never feared death it self. I know it might sound harsh, but for people like me, is a lot worst to have so much pain all the time. My only fear was leaving my children. I remember vividly how I would pray to have more time to raise them and make sure that they would be alright.
Well God kept his promise, they are all in high school and soon to graduate. They are aware of my condition, and know what to expect. What more can I ask for. All the fear was removed from my heart the moment I knew that by a miracle God allowed me to watched my babies grow, when 4 different doctors told us that I would never see pass 25 . I can't complain. I can die tonight and still feel like I have lived a blessed life.
We are all going to die and none of us know when, so just focus on living and enjoy life while you are still breathing.
As my (very funny) pastor said in his sermon on Easter Sunday, "None of us are getting out of here alive." Or as my doctor said on a recent visit for a minor ailment: "One hundred percent of my patients die." Yes, I do think about it the older I get, but to simply contemplate its inevitability somehow makes the weird feeling go away.
I am not old but boy do i feel old sometimes.
I think most older people don't fear death, they fear that in death, they die, a person they are not, full of regrets. Those who truly know themselves and are proud of who they are, accept death gracefully and with eagerness for the next stage of the journey.
I try to think of all the good things I've done in my life, and I find myself thinking that I couldn't be happier
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