How do you cope with losing a loved one?
How would you handle losing a child, a family member, or a spouse?
Six years after losing my dad, I'm still coping. I think of him every single day. Sometimes funny things, sometimes missing him till I cry, but I think of him very often.
I don't think you ever get over it, but time does make it easier. At first you feel like you aren't even able to deal with life. It gets a tiny bit better each day. You'll still cry when you think about them and miss them terribly at times. But life goes on.
To be honest, I don't.
I usually avoid it at all costs until I'm at the funreal. Then after I leave the funreal I try my best to put it out of my mind. I am no good at coping with heartache.
If this question was spawned from a recent loss, I'm sorry. It's hard to lose anyone let alone a child (I can't even think about this), a family member or a spouse.
Everyone copes with it differently. It is never an easy thing. I lost my father when I was a toddler and continued to grieve him all the way through my life into adulthood. If I hadn't realized what was going on I might still be grieving today. I handled it in many ways. When I was ten I recall walking around our yard and visiting with God and my father as I moved about from tree to flower to bush. I would go out into the garage and sit on my dad's motorcycle and imagine riding with him. I began writing letters to God about how I felt about missing my father.
So when my mother passed away over 3 years ago, I was able to take these steps right away. I visit her in my backyard. She always loved nature and was a farm girl at heart. I listen to the birds sing and I see her smile. I feel the wind on my face and it is her gentle caress. I look at beautiful bright colored flowers in bloom and they are her twinkling eyes smiling at me.
No one can tell you how to grieve you have to find it yourself. It is personal and individual, even among other loved ones of the deceased. I wish you many tears and many hugs. Tears are wonderful healers as well as hugs. +
I think the "key" aspect of your question is the term "losing." If you mean that they have died; some cope significantly well by celebrating their existence and having them live on with regards to fond memories.
If one has lived through a comatose experience one may begin to realize that our journey is not over when we pass on and the sting of death is much less of an impact. These people can help you cope; if you read or listen to their stories it will help you significantly.
If by losing you mean that they have moved on by ending their relationship with you; well, then that is a whole other ballgame...
I've just experienced the loss of a 14 year old step-grandchild. He was still my grandchild though he was from my daughter-in-laws first marriage. He was raised by my son.and was a big part of his life.
One minute at a time is all you can do. Photos, toys and such are constant reminders. All I can do is say I love you wherever you are and keep going.
You learn to adapt and bear up through the pain until you can move on. I know it is horrible. I lost my father, then my mother and as an only child, my mother and I were particularly close. When I was 15, she died of cancer and I have to tell you that I have never been so terrified at having to live in this life without her.
But I did survive and I am 60 now and while I miss her like crazy, I have had a happy, productive life. So the lesson is no matter how devastated you are, and how much you hurt, time will temper and ease the sharpness of the pain. It will never leave you but it ebbs and flows so that at times it is unbearable, and at times it is bearable. You just have to remember to hang on and value the good times and the good days.
To be honest, time takes care of it. Dealing with the death of a loved one is never easy Missa. You can't change anything. You are going to feel a lot of emotions that take you in all directions. You will have a grief period that is normal and then you have to heal the heart and soul. Death is a part of life. No matter what we do, we will all face it eventually. Remembering the past is great, but you can live in the past. Keep them close to your heart always. Remember them for who they were in life, not death. And know, if you hold dear to your faith, you will get to see them again. In a sense, our loved ones are never that far away. If you pay close attention, you can feel them when they are close. This goes for a child, family, or partner. Losing a child is very hard. The best way to cope for anyone is by being around those who love you and you them. Yes, we all need time alone, but you should always find comfort in family in times like this.
Thank you guys for answering with your insight on this subject.
However, I may have been unclear on the subject. I have NOT recently lost someone, this question was inspired because I had a very vivid dream of my boyfriend dying, and even though it was a dream, it felt so real. So, when I woke up I gave him a big hug, told him I loved him and was just reminded how much I should appreciate him.
I wanted to ask this question to hear how other people cope with a loved one dying. I think all of you seem to be answering, more or less, the same way.
I still want to thank all of you for your responses, it means a lot that you've taken the time to respond. I would also like to tell those of you who have lost a loved one, that i'm sorry and I send you my best wishes.
I have been through this with my sister that lost her husband about a year ago. I wrote a blog about it. It broke my heart to see her in so much pain. I can only say that lean on your loved ones and God. Get up and take the next right step. Don't lt yourself be alone when you need others . They want to be there for you. I try to call my sister every day. It's hard but somehow she is getting there. This is my hub. http://nancynurse.hubpages.com/hub/Loss-of-a-Spouse
In my life, I've lost quite a few of my family members. I tell you, each loss was never easy. The memories that I've shared with each member down through the years is what helps to keep me going. Also, time and prayer really helps as well. My mom used to say that death is something that you never get used to. Her words are so true!!!! Take each day as it comes and try to get through it one minute at a time. Remember to love and cherish your loved ones while they are still here!!!!!
I've lost my parents when I was 13. It wasn't that easy, but in time I was able to live a normal life and accept their death.
They said a child who lost her parents is called an orphan, for spouses, a widow or widower. But for a parent who lost a child, there is no word for it because the pain is too much to bear to describe it.
I cannot imagine losing my only son. I might end up killing myself or going mad.
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