Have you become a pastime by a person or people you newly met or hardly knew?
Something like an encounter with a person or people who kept visiting you as if you are always free?
Astralrose, the question can be answered with a yes or no. My answer is yes. You may also like to know more about the experience and how it was handled. It has happened more than once, whenever people are clingy or needy and want me to join their TSU (tribal suffering unit.) Can't say I have found an elegant way to discourage people from neediness and encourage self-containment and self-responsibility without hurting their feelings. I just do the best I can to be honest, kind, communicative and respectful. I am compassionate and understanding towards them, and at the same time like to be true to myself. What they do with my letting them know that I am not available for tribal suffering is their responsibility. That may or may not apply to you. The answer for handling specific situations will always come from within.
Sometimes being honest could hurt people but I think it's not your fault. It's the way they handle the reaction. I mean people should also think like what if I am the one who's being made a pastime would I like that? Hope the answer is no! :-)
yes, it is fact that people need people according to their needs. If no need persists than no need to care except some blood relations.
Yes, there are many people out there who are lonely, unintelligent, or boring enough that they have to pretend that you two are friends in order to feel fulfilled in some way (non-lonely?). I've had people like this in my life; probably most people have. It's darn annoying, too, taking your time and money that could be spent on a "true" friend. These non-friends/fake friends are hard to get rid of, too, in general.
Ahh, there are really like that. It happens like they see as their good friends but the feeling is just not mutual so it's not really easy to get rid of them without making them feel bad. But I think once you start saying "I'm busy" they' might stop.
Good point, Astralrose! And, if they don't get your polite, obvious hints, getting rid of the person quickly (even if painfully straightforward) is probably best for everyone's sake and hopefully minimizes bad feelings all around.
Mine seem to show up on 2 ways, either in group functions where they manipulate and monopolize me so That I am isolated from the rest of our friends or on the phone. This happens both at work and at home. They will talk and talk even when I say I have to leave or need to give the phone to another member of the family. When I am in a social group, if I can, I say something like, "Oh wow! I can't wait to hear more about that but for now I am having a little trouble concentrating on what you are saying with everyone else talking. Let's go to coffee or something where I can giver you all my attention." That usually works and hopefully, they'll forget about the coffee while they are looking for a new target. The phone is a different story. At work, I have to continue talking, gently letting them know that I am just finishing up with someone else. At home it is more difficult. They tend to be very needy and certainly guilt producing. I try to answer the phone with,"Hey! I was just thinking about you. Glad you called now because I only have 2 minutes before my meeting starts. What's up?"
Good luck with this. It is very draining!
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