How do you deal with family member who say you don't have guts to do things?
My sister often treats me low by saying you don't have guts to do big things. That is something hurts me and it irritates me whenever she openly says something like that in front of strangers and her friends. I feel very offended but I can't do much because we are under the same roof for now. How would you deal with this?
Hi, Starx. Sorry you are having this problem. I know it must cause you much hurt, embarrassment, and anger. Most of us would feel that way, and it's hard not to take it personally. For me, dealing with an 'emotional attack' like that would mean changing my response.
Since you can't change your sister, the only thing you can do is change the way you react. We could spend a lifetime analyzing why she feels the need to do this, but that would be a waste of effort. What you CAN do is to tell her she could be right about you. Tell her you agree that you don't have the courage she thinks you ought to have.
Tell her (and tell yourself) that people who are short on one trait are often excellent at another. Blind people have extra-special hearing. People who flunk math often have the best reading and writing skills. People who don't do well at sports frequently succeed as scientists or engineers. And so forth.
Be careful that you don't attack her with hurtful words. Don't say anything at all about her traits or skills. Keep the focus on yourself. And lastly, tell her something like this: "when you say that, I feel hurt and embarrassed". Then it's up to her to decide if she wants to keep on hurting you.
Best of luck to you as you deal with this issue.
Honestly I ignore them. My cousin always has these sayings because he is a biology teacher and a die hard scientist, he feels more intelligent than most. He'll snatch your electronic device right out of your hand if your a friend or family member of his because he feels it's disrespectful. Guess what, communicating with co-workers is part of my job and yes, sometimes it's more important than talking to you, cuz. Talking with him doesn't help, so just ignore his pouting fits. He also makes strange comments such as "when you're 23, you'll be over 135 lbs". Really? And this matter's to you why? You just want to get rid of them. In a way you can by kicking them out of your mind and limiting how much you see them.
by Audrey Selig 12 months ago
How do you handle a close relative who keeps putting you down for no reason?
by Krystal 6 years ago
What are the best ways to deal with a mentally ill family member?My mother is mentally ill and for the most part, she lives a normal life. It is when she goes off her meds that things get down right scary. What are some ways for me to cope with her illiness, especially when she is in a bad state of...
by H C Palting 6 years ago
What would you do if a family member only contacts you when they want something?Would you keep a sibling at arm's length if they exhibit a pattern of contacting you only when they want something? Why or why not?
by Lissette 2 years ago
How do you find a family member that you never met and no almost nothing about?My mother often wonders if her father is still alive. She never met him and has very little information about him. He would be at least 80 years old or maybe older...It would be nice to find out about him but...
by Theresa Collins 20 months ago
Why do some families of the mentally ill turn their backs on them?I have seen many people who are truly, seriously, mentally ill with diagnosis such as Schizophrenia have no one, absolutely no one. Their families have disownded them. Although it is extremely difficult to deal with someone with that...
by Audrey Selig 4 years ago
How to control passive aggressive family member who sends husband to his parents begging for money?They are retired and live on pensions.
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|