Would you let your child go to this party?
If your child was invited to a classmate's party, and you knew that one of their parents had been in prison, (although you didn't know what for), would you let them go to the party?
Moon Daisy, I think I would be more cautious about allowing such a thing to happen. However, it would be nice to investigate what crime the classmate's parent had committed. This s because in the event that they are a repeat offender, your child may be at risk. It would also be advisable to get approval from neighbors to see if he has changed his ways after being rehabilitated in prison.
Thanks. I don't know them well enough to bring up the subject of his prison sentence, and don't live in their road, so cannot approach their neighbours. Think I'll talk to the mum in the playground and try to get a feel for what they're like...
That sounds prudent. Go ahead, please do your best to protect your child. It's your responsibility as their parent.
So long as they weren't on the sex offenders list I would be fine letting my child go. Did you know in my state you can go to prison for having $25 worth of marijuana in your car if you drive within one mile of a school? You can also get up to 5 years in prison for reading a spouse's emails in some states. Even if it was something bad (armed robbery or something similar) time frame should be considered. Some statistics show that 40% of the population has been in jail at some point in their lives. You can't penalize your child or the other child by isolating them from every possibility of bad. Statistically your child would be more likely to be seriously hurt driving them to school than going to a birthday party where one parent was in prison at some point.
Thx for this well-reasoned answer. I, like the person below, worked in criminal justice, so I don't want to penalise anyone and understand that prison doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad person. Just wanted some opinions as I don't know any details
Having been in the legal field for over a decade, I can honestly say not all prisoners are bad people. Sometimes they just have a hard situation in life that lands them in an unfortunate situation.
I don't know about the circumstances of this particular individual, so I cannot really judge it with eyes wide open. But, it would certainly depend.
When did they go in?
How long have they been out?
Is this based on rumor or do you know this for a fact?
Was it in the paper?
What were the details?
Was it something to do with children?
Those are the things I'd have to know about. I'd also want to personally meet both parents and find out the details of the party. It would also depend on the age of the child.
Thanks. I don't know any details, I just heard him talking to another dad who'd been tagged. He said "Ah, you've got a tag. I was inside a while ago". I didn't hear the rest of the conversation. Will try to meet mum and find out about the party...
If it was a young child, I wouldn't let them go to a house with a parent I didn't know period, prison term or not. If I knew them than I would know what the prison deal was about.
A prison term alone, wouldn't automatically cause me any concern. There are plenty of people out there who have never been in prison who very quietly beat their kids and/or partners on a regular basis. I've also known a guy who was a heroin addict for nine years, showed up one time covered in knife wounds, and had spent time in prison, but was still as good of a father as you could ever ask for.
Thanks, I agree that prison doesn't automatically make someone bad. They seem to be a happy family, I don't know any details, other than him being in prison. And I don't feel like I can ask about this, given that I've never spoken to them before.
Most likely I would not. It is easy to find out what the person was in jail / prison for if you want to know. However, having been on the prosecution side of many a case, I know for a fact that in order to take a case to court the attorney general needs to have slam dunk evidence. If that person was convicted and sent to prison, he or she is now hard core. I would tell my child that a person is known by their associates and it would be more sensible that if they wanted to be someone of any stature in the future world someday, they would be better off calling in ill than attending. Plus as a parent, it is my job to protect my child from danger. One missed party is not the end of the world, but if anything bad happened, it may change the course of their life forever.
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