ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

hospice care the final choice...

Updated on January 3, 2015

hospice care

Today after a long time in the Emergency Room I made the hardest decision in regard to my fathers care that I ever had to make. I had to decide if I was going to continue to deny that my father was going to die or was I going to let him go. I realized that he had fought the good fight and he wanted to go home to heaven.

As my husband and I set in the room with him I saw him change. He looked up and I heard him call out to my departed mother and his family members. He called out to Jesus and the angels. The doctor told me that dad was ready to go home. Dad told me good bye which brought tears to my eyes. With the best control I could I told him that the family wouldn't hold on to him any longer.

The doctor came into the room and discussed with my husband and me that it was time to put dad on hospice care. I realized that meant that I had to finally let go and mean it. I looked at dad and realized for the first time in my heart that he wasn't going to get better. No matter how much health care he had all I was doing was prolonging his pain. I saw the pain on his face when I didn't understand what he said and I realized at that point I was being selfish. I didn't want him to pass because I would feel pain. How could I be so selfish as to make him suffer. He didn't want that kind of life and I realized I no longer wanted him to suffer. I signed the paperwork to put him on hospice care.

Hospice care is care that makes him comfortable until finally his suffering ends. Dad cant eat anymore and he couldn't drink so it was cruel for me to make him watch other people eat when he couldn't. He cant take his meds so he will be made comfortable. If you have a terminal loved one check out hospice care. I am glad I did,

The questions I had to answer for hospice care was more than I had expected when they came to the home the following day. Did he have a living will and an advance directive? Did he have a DNR order? Did I want them to use oxygen if it deemed necessary? Some I was sure of and others I had to ask the family about. The family said they would stand behind any decision I made.

Hospice care is so hard to deal with mentally. You know that hospice care is for the terminally ill. I didn't know it meant deciding when to discontinue meds. The home where my dad is still takes him down to eat as little as two tablespoons of food. His liquids are Ensure liquid. He is not able to have a life that has quality to it. I want him to have nature take its course. I was told it was cruel to not feed him because it was starving him to death and it is modern medicines way of extending life rather than letting nature take its course.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)