Alone For Valentine's Day, But Not Lonely

Valentine's Day is an important day for retailers and greeting card moguls, but not so much for me. It is supposed to be the day that we celebrate our love ( and lust) for one another, but as we have done for so many of the other celebrations in our lives, we have made it about presents. If you are not one in this category, then please disregard. I plan on taking advantage of the after Valentine's Day sales and buying myself some chocolate, because I deserve it. I have had a very rough year and I am still here, still smiling, and still grateful for the people that are still in my life. I am also a little grateful that certain others are not. I have always believed that one should do everything possible to make a relationship work. This year, I learned that there comes a time to stop trying. When the relationship is so unhealthy that one is in a constant state of misery, it is time to quit. When friends no longer recognize you and wonder how you could be so stupid, it is time to quit. When you realize that the more you try, the worse you get treated, it is time to quit. So, six months ago, I quit. This Valentine's Day I will be alone, but the difference is that, I am happy. I was also alone last year, although I shouldn't have been. That was a big, red flag. If there were someone special in my life, I would acknowledge the day with a card and a small token gift, because I know how it feels to be ignored. Other than that, I hope that I am able to show my love all year long.

Unless you plan on using the occasion to ask for her hand in marriage, forget the diamond rings. Instead, buy her a nice pair of earrings to wear out to dinner. If she likes to shop, buy her a gift card to her favorite store. Give her a day at the spa or a massage certificate. Give her one night that the sex is all about her. Believe me, she will appreciate it. Turn off your cell phone for the night and leave the television off. Farm the kids out and give her your undivided attention. In short, let her know that you are glad to be with her and the rewards that you will reap will be endless.

Valentine's Day doesn't have to expensive. I will take thoughtful over expensive any day. If you know that she loves Beatles memorabilia, add to her collection. Someone once gave me a picture of myself and John Lennon together. Even though I knew it was photo shopped, I loved it. Another gift that I still have after many years, is a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night". Plan ahead and let your gift reflect how well you know her. After all, all she really wants is you!

So, as I said, I will be alone this Valentine's Day, but not lonely. I have good people in my life and the ones that were causing me pain are gone. I have a new appreciation for myself and others and I am learning to love myself. I will, however, accept warm Valentine's Day greetings from whomever wants to send them. Most of all, I will remember that one day I will find the one that I should be with and I will be loved well.