Halloween Safety Tips for Salvation of Souls
It's that time of year again, when the air starts getting colder and the veil between this world and the next opens up and we get a brief glimpse into the realm of the damned. Many perils await those who are not prepared for this time that is considered both holy and profane. Follow these tips if you want your soul, and those of any loved ones who have passed on, to survive.
- Wear costumes and masks to ensure spirits can't recognize you. This is especially important if you plan on leaving your house the evening of October 31st, when the presence in our world of those who normally dwell only in the afterlife is at its strongest. Spirits can sometimes see through flimsy costumes mass-produced by modern day corporations, however, so do as the Celts did and use animal skin and heads for best effect.
- Build massive bonfires to sacrifice crops and animals. Appeasing the gods, as the Druids well knew, is vitally important to having a safe and happy Halloween. Building massive bonfires is an inherently unsafe practice, but what's more important? Keeping your neighborhood safe from a huge fire or keeping your soul safe from vengeful deities? You'll have to decide that one for yourself.
- Prepare soul cakes to free souls from Purgatory. When those cute little trick-or-treaters come to your door expecting candy, ask them why they're not practicing proper soulling techniques before giving them a soul cake and making them eat it. Each soul cake eaten will free a soul from Purgatory, so do your part to help out dead people who couldn't be bothered with making sure they didn't end up there.
- Carve plenty of Jack O'Lanterns. It's the only way to keep some evil spirits, like Stingy Jack, an Irish farmer who spent his life tricking the Devil, away. Try different types of Jack O'Lanterns; the turnip and potato were in use long before the American-native pumpkins and may prove more effective.
- Leave big bowls of treats on your doorstep. If you can't scare the ghosts away, maybe you can appease them with candy and other treats. Don't dispute the logic of non-corporeal entities desiring physical food; it's a time-tested strategy for protecting your home! Don't be surprised if unattended treat bowls are quickly emptied by creatures who take the form of little kids in store-bought Halloween costumes; those ghouls are tricky beasts. Just refill the bowl as quickly as you can.
Halloween can be a fun time, but it can also be scary because, well, hey, it's HALLOWEEN. That's kind of the point. If you follow the above safety tips, however, there's no need for anyone to lose a soul over it.
Here are some general tips that are good to follow year-round, but which are especially important to observe around Halloween, when the link between our world and the spirit realm is strongest:
- Don't let black cats cross your path.
- Don't walk under ladders.
- Don't break mirrors.
- Don't step on cracks, lest you break your mother's back.
- Don't spill salt.
Actual 21st Century Halloween Safety Tips
Okay, now that I've had my fun, here are some legitimate (i.e., real-world) safety tips that should be observed by kids when enjoying the holiday:
- Carry a flashlight while trick-or-treating
- Choose costumes with bright colors or get fluorescent stickers to apply to parts of your costume so drivers can easily see you.
- Have a parent check your newly obtained candy to check for defects.
- Don't enter a stranger's house, no matter how much candy they say they want to give you.
- If your parent or guardian isn't going trick-or-treating with you, make sure they know who you're with and the general location where you'll be.
- Check with a parent to see if there are any neighborhoods or houses that should be avoided while trick-or-treating.
- Be very careful when crossing a street!