To Mom with Love - a letter to my mother

Watching all the mother’s day events and headlines left me in a state of denial.

This year is the first mother’s day without mom. She passed away last summer. It is a bit challenging to watch all the news reports on what to give your mom for mother’s day.

Mother’s day gifts are great ways to express how much our moms mean to us.

A day at the spa, some chocolates, or perhaps flowers, but I can’t give her any of those things.

Many daughters and sons are without their moms at mother’s day. Losing a parent is difficult.

Grief is all consuming and heart wrenching. We would rather run from it than face it. We fear death in many ways because of the pain it brings. Unless one experiences it firsthand they can’t fully realize the suffering that involves loss.

Stress and anxiety surrounds these holidays. On mother’s day, we miss our moms. We long to be near them.

When we see others with their moms we remember our own mom. When we hear others tell about what they are doing for their mom on mother’s day, we feel anguish.

It puts a person in a vulnerable place.

To mom with love is a love letter. It is my gift to mom for mother’s day and every day. She was my best friend.

I miss her dearly.

On this mother’s day, I wanted to tell you so many things. I wanted to tell you about your great grandchildren and how fast they are growing. I wanted to share with you my personal theories on the direction my life has taken. You are gone and I miss you so much.

How I wish I could call you and talk about the things going on. Did you hear about the royal wedding, mom? I know you would have liked watching the royal gala. I could hear your voice and laughter in jubilee as the son of Princess Diana got married. I miss your laughter.

They shot that terrorist mom, did you hear? I remember 9/11 so clearly; you were the first person I called. “Turn on the television, mom. A plane just hit the twin towers.” We used to talk all the time. You were the one I called to share news. I miss that.

How are you feeling mom? I remember how sick you were. Now that you’re in heaven, I can imagine you are running in delight. Are you enjoying all the trees of fruit? I know how much you loved to eat and taste all those dishes during our family BBQs and events. With your diabetes sometimes we had to put those sweets away. Now you can enjoy them. Oh mom, I miss you. We had a ham on Easter but it wasn’t the same without you. We didn’t color Easter eggs this year. I know how much you enjoyed doing that.

It's mother’s day mom, I’m coming to visit you. I have some flowers to put down in the grass. It’s quiet there where the big oak tree rests. Your presence is missed. I know you are in a better place but I still long for you to be here. Is that selfish, mom?

I wish you could give me some advice. There was such wisdom in your words. I didn’t realize it then, because I spent most of my time worrying about you. I took care of you after dad died and I miss those days. It was a big responsibility but I cherished it as a blessing. I know you are happy mom, and you are healthy. Maybe it’s your turn, mom. Maybe now you can take care of me.

My children are no longer children, my heart is no longer full, and my life is not the same since you’ve been gone. The example you demonstrated in my life has given me such love. Your strength and devotion in life has blessed mine. You were the best friend I could ever have and I love you.

Love your daughter.

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” – George Washington

"On Mother's Day I have written a poem for you. In the interest of poetic economy and truth, I have succeeded in concentrating my deepest feelings and beliefs into two perfectly crafted lines: You're my mother, I would have no other!" - Forest Houtenschil

“May God grant you always: A sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, heaven to hear you.” —Jane Seymour, actress

“The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.” – William Goldsmith Brown

The sweetest gift is a mother's love. Capturing the heart of a mother blesses one's life. In memory of mom, I found blessing in this scripture. I realize the time I'm away from my mom is only temporary and one day we will be reunited.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."- John 14:1-3

I hope you found blessings in this letter. My mom was a special woman. She was strong and tough. Facing terrible tragedies in her life, she was remarkable. My mom lost her father at a young age, she was only 8. She married her high school sweetheart and they lost their first born son at only 8 months old.

Her life was difficult and her heart was broken.

When my father passed away, she lost the love of her life. But my mom was a fighter, she became an independent woman in widowhood. Until her heart broke again. After suffering from a heart attack and mini strokes, she became frail.

A delicate woman with a robust sense of life changed before my eyes. Last summer her heart died and a piece of my heart went with her. I’ll never have another mom and yet I know she still lives inside of me.

When I look in the mirror, when I look at my hands, and sometimes by the things I say, I’m reminded of her.

To mom with love, I am everything I am today because you loved me.

Creating a gift tag: To mom with love and wrapping it up with bright colored paper and sealing it with a bow. She can’t accept it so I'll send it in love.