- Holidays and Celebrations»
Santa and the Election
Santa's hung over, his egg nog was spiked
By somebody trying to ruin his big night.
His sled was impounded when his thermos was found
with a liquored elixir he was still chugging down.
A little canteen he had painted in blue
was labled as coffee and concealing the brew.
Two parts from a bourbon and one from a rum
a splash of tequila, who wouldn't want some?
Try driving a sled in the dead of the night!
Try finding your way with a little red light!
It wasn't his fault considering his state
He was upside down and couldn't fly straight.
His bag of full of goodies fell out of the seat
down the old chimney where congress would meet.
They claim to have foiled, yet another attack
some little red terrorist with a bomb in his pack.
They sent him away to quantanamo bay
where he lays 'neath the drip, of a water buffet.
Now the stockings are hung, but nobody cares
Congress is busy with some election affair.
They lay eating lobster, in satin sheet beds
feeding nothing to Santa, but water and bread.
Yes, Christmas is lost from here to Japan
and all congress has, is a stimulus plan.
The nation is crying for the good old days
before we and money, were parting our ways.
'Tis the month before Christmas, but all will be right
for congress has promised, to work through the night.
"Don't fret about Christmas" they merrily say
we will borrow tomorrow and pay for today.
But what about Santa and the little red suit?
How 'bout the reindeer, his sled and the loot?
Well, the White House was flooded with e mails and calls
America still wanted to deck all their halls.
So Congress rescinded and they set Santa free
with all of the goodies, that go under the tree.
Santa confessed his lesson today
you can't mix tequila and rum in a sleigh.
I've noticed, however, when Congress convenes
a little blue thermos labled, " caffine".
They sip and they muddle, they nod and they snooze
while running the country, on Santa's lost booze.
If you're voting next Tuesday and expecting a change
remember the thermos, that's eating their brain.
There's a truck full of red ones awaiting display
but the lie is the same, at the end of the day.