Lawn and Garden Zombies

When the lifelike undead crawl out of your lawn... when a zombie garden gnome lurks in your petunias... when even your whimsical flamingo lawn ornaments are reduced to mere skeletons of their pink plastic selves... can the threatened horror-flick Apocalypse (or Halloween night) be far away?

Just look what those nasty undead creatures have done to the traditional garden ornaments we live with so happily in our landscapes, outside the spooky season...

As the spooky dark October nights begin to draw in, what's a person to do? Better get decorating!

At the very least, a bit of appropriately ghoulish yard decoration might make the Walking Dead feel at home, and perhaps they'll save your brains to eat last, after all the neighbors.

Do you really think those cheerfully-kitschy flamingo lawn ornaments would be safe from a zombie attack? There's nothing creepier to look at than the remnants of a pink plastic lawn decoration, a bird stripped to its bones and yet still upright, looking for all the world as if it hardly noticed the small matter of a zombie attack in its recent past - or is the flaming a zombie itself?

Are you quite desperate to have a resin torso and arms half-buried in your own herbaceous border? No worries. Snag your own creepy undead garden companion here.

The most wonderfully horrid of all half-buried lawn zombies has got to be The Zombie of Montclaire Moors - Henri Toscano's blood-chilling (can we say "life like," about the undead?) cast resin sculpture, available at the very obliging Amazon.com. Just imagine the delight (or revulsion) of your visitors as they're greeted by the clawing hands and pale staring eyes of a recently undead young man who appears to be rising from the grave amidst your decorative shrubbery...

I think we all know that garden gnomes are inherently evil to begin with. And they're sure to be among the first to join the ranks of the undead when the Zombie Apocalypse comes. Why not install a zombie gnome or several in your garden right now, and start getting used to the idea?You can score a whole family of short and pointy-eared decorative ghouls for cheap online at Amazon, if there's a shortage in your local high-classed emporium.

Let us be brutally frank - when it comes to hoards of zombies in your yard and garden, less is often more. If a full moaning crowd of undead figures is a bit over-the-top for even those in your family who most revel in the horror genre, try a few tasteful body parts or the zombie's upper body alone. As the most skilled of burlesque entertainers can tell us, sometimes it is what is concealed that thrills more than what is revealed...