Zombie Warfare Preparation: The Worst Weather for a Zombie Apocalypse

Zombies have no sense of timing.

Those of you who have long term plans like an anniversary party or a wedding can never account for the contingency of a zombie apocalypse. It’s not like you can go to the head of the zombies and explain that this week is not a good time for the damned to wander around your neighborhood. You may lose money on your catering deposit or reservations to have that big air filled bouncy ride for your kid’s birthday.

Just remember, the zombies will come whether you want them to or not.

When zombies are discovered in your neighborhood, the best thing that can be said is that you’ll probably be able to legitimately call out for work. Unless your boss is a real jerk, he’ll understand that your commute gets more complicated with a mass of reanimated corpses blocking your way. Other than that, a zombie apocalypse can really cramp your lifestyle.

There is always the problem of getting food to your house and fortifying it against mindless corpses. There is also a matter of keeping low and keeping a look out for any zombie that should come near your home.

All of this is easy to do during a clear spring day. A clear line of vision will allow you to see a walking corpse and a steady breeze will carry their stench – warning anyone nearby.

But what happens when the weather is not on your side? What are the best conditions and which are the worst?

When it comes to survival, it’s best to have some kind of a first alert system.

In some cases, this just means having someone with a long range weapon and a good sniper nest where they can look out for ghouls. During the daytime, this can be done in shifts with a good set of binoculars and a high vantage point.

Running surveillance at night can be problematic. Unless you have a convenient set of flood lights on your property, you will waste a lot of power and time trying to see invaders who are concealed in the dark.

I suggest not only the use of booby traps but also some really low cost and inventive alerts.

For this you’ll need two trees, some fishing line (10 lbs. test), superglue, a mouse trap, and a glow stick. Using the trees or posts on the perimeter of your property, you can tie the fishing lines around one tree and tie the other end to the trigger of the mousetrap. Superglue a glow stick to the business end of the mouse trap. Should any invader (zombie or otherwise) trip the fishing line trigger, the mouse trap will go off and break the chemical seal for the glow stick. While this will not alert the zombie, a night sentry will see the glow from the tree and use a flashlight to see if anyone has crossed into the yard.

Ideally, the safest time for an apocalypse to happen is in the dead of winter.

The cold temperature has a tendency to slow down or freeze zombies. Frozen zombies are easy to spot and easy to kill as well. They can also be easily tracked in any snow covered land as their footprints are characteristically dragging.

The second best time to have a zombie apocalypse would be in autumn.

It is very difficult to sneak up on anyone where there are dead leaves that will crunch under anyone’s footprints. Zombies are not well known for their stealth. However, in the absence of a moan, cracking leaves and dry twigs make it difficult for a zombie to silently get the drop on you.

Spring and summer are bad, especially in the evening when there’s so much ambient noise from nature. It is a well-known fact that people who are working at peak focus may hear things that are not actually there. In the midst of insects and any number of noises on a spring and summer evening a zombie’s presence can go unnoticed with the exception of their overwhelming stench. On a breeze-less night, a zombie can get very close to any unguarded member of your survival party.

I am surprised that zombie writers have not made a setting that would take away any advantage a survival party would have in an apocalypse. The perfect storm of bad weather that could threaten an entire party would be a torrential thunderstorm.

Rain does many things which work against us in the war on the undead. On a dark rainy night, visibility is poor and the rain and wind will dampen any noise or smells that are in the immediate area. Should you be out in the open during such conditions, it is quite likely that you will not only be caught off guard, but you may slip in the mud should you try and get away.

On the other hand, the playing field is level. If you were to conceal yourself properly, the ambient noises made in the weather combined with the poor visibility and cloaking of your own scent will help you enormously. But very much like a demented game of blind man’s bluff, you need to find shelter and a good hiding place until the undead are gone.

Just remember, the longer you can keep your presence unknown to them, the better off you’ll be.

Zombies don’t care about the weather. Day or night. Rain or shine. Summer or winter. If they are up and about, they will be looking for you or any living body to eat and attack.

The advantage we have over them is that we think and we can plan. Their advantage over us is that they are relentless. They will always keep coming until someone can bash their brains in. When they come, chances are, we won’t really be ready for them. They probably won’t come at an ideal time. They will be like a thief in the night – we won’t know until they make the first move.

And that first move will be chaos in the streets, followed by a lot of screaming and a lot of death.

But if you take steps to keep yourself healthy aware and prepared for the worst you won’t be among their ranks.