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Top 20 Funny Pick Up Lines

Updated on December 21, 2010

What do you need when you are single and want to flirt in a bar? Maybe good looks or a huge knowledge of the latest politics in Iraq? Well, not really. You just need to have some funny pickup lines that will lighten up the atmosphere and I searched the internet for the best of them. Ok, they may not be meant serious but you will have a good laugh about them. I present the, in my opinion, 20 most hilarious pickup lines and hope you have fun!

  • By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.

  • Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Guadalupe?

  • Me and you would undergo a more energetic reaction then Potassium and water.

  • Need me to unzip your files?

  • You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.


  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

  • If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.

  • Fat penguin. [What?] Sorry. I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

  • Im not telling you this because I want to impress you.. but I am Batman.

  • My buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?

  • If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

  • If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

  • The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.

  • I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

  • Do you like bananas or blueberries? Why? I wanna know what kind of pancakes to make in the morning.

  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

  • You know, we were born without clothes.

  • Ever wanted to see Metropolis from the air?

  • I'm not feeling myself today, can I feel you?

  • I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun - with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      reply 0 1 ronaldcsims 06-12-2014 at 4:35 PM report

      he/she may like you this really works!try it out!

      1.say your name 10x

      2.say your moms name 5x

      3.say your crushes name 3x

      4.then paste this to 4 other quizes,if you do your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday!but if you don't ull have bad luck

    • georgiecarlos profile image


      6 years ago from Philippines

      "Im not telling you this because I want to impress you.. but I am Batman"

      I think I might actually be so amused that I wouldn't mind going out on a date with a guy who uses this line

    • profile image

      Funny Dude 101 

      6 years ago

      Do you work for AT&T? Because you're raisen my bar!

      You turn my software into hardware!

      Do you work for Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

      Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

      What has a bunch of teeth and hold back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper!

      Are you hungry, I'm hungry. Lets get take out and eat till were full.

      I'm so wet right now, I just got out of the shower. Want to join me and little peter jr.?


      I think Peter jr is sick, 1 is in bed right now and the other is probably just evolving to the evolution chart.

      Damn it, I have to take a dump and a piss, help me unzip my zipper please, and aim with my dump truck.

      Tell me what's your fav :D :P

    • profile image

      Tony Dice 

      7 years ago

      Are you kiddin'?

    • bogerk profile image


      7 years ago from Midwest

      I always liked the classic Fresh Prince of Bel Air line, "Girl, you must tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"

      But, I'm a little old school that way.

    • fayehelen profile image


      7 years ago

      'I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?'


    • K9keystrokes profile image

      India Arnold 

      8 years ago from Northern, California

      Hilarious! The Batman references are gems. You sound like a fun-guy...did I just call you a mushroom?

      Thanks for the laugh EinsFloW!


    • pink flavour profile image

      pink flavour 

      8 years ago

      Haha:) Do these really work?


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