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A Humorous Look At Job Hunting in Las Vegas

Updated on January 22, 2014
Cowboys on the open range.
Cowboys on the open range. | Source
Belly dancers are fascinating to watch!
Belly dancers are fascinating to watch! | Source
Exotic dancer? Just HOW exotic are we talkin' here anyway?
Exotic dancer? Just HOW exotic are we talkin' here anyway? | Source
A pretty tough looking, "Rocky-like" boxer!
A pretty tough looking, "Rocky-like" boxer! | Source
Just how short are these booty shorts going to be... It's tempting but I think I'll have to pass on this one!
Just how short are these booty shorts going to be... It's tempting but I think I'll have to pass on this one! | Source

Only in Las Vegas!

It has sure been an interesting and exciting... well, OK, so that's a stretch... trip searching and sifting through want ads for employment here in Las Vegas! Come along with me on my daily job search. So many positions... I wonder if I will have time to apply... why, HERE'S an interesting one!

Cowboy! - Well, heck, isn't everyone looking for a cowboy? WOOT!!!! Oops, excuse me, I had a "moment" there...Oh, Nope, I don't know how to make tortillas over an open campfire, sorry... Paneola... Pani... what??

OH look, another cowboy listing! Must do stunt work and roof falls... yikes, Grandma doesn't DO roof falls...stunt work... I don't think so... next job!

Exotic Dancer - Ok, just HOW exotic are we talkin' here, Grandma doesn't want to break a hip... I better look for something else... although the pay is phenomenal... nah.

Dancer - maybe this one will be better than exotic dancer... are you hot? Well, YES I AM!!!! It comes in FLASHES, matter of fact! One every couple of hours or sooner if it is an especially hot day!!! Finally, one that I really CAN consider applying for! BUT, do they consider the "Sprinkler' and the "Shopping Cart" to be "real" dancing experience? THAT is the question!

"Rocky" type salespeople wanted - Ok, so I worked in retail for 14 years, does this mean you get to punch someone out?? Well, heck YEAH!! I am overly qualified I think for this one... but, I can do a mean 'ADRIENNE'.... I better move on.

Assistant For Executive in the Music Industry - hmmm... wanted to schedule MTV ads... my question is, do I get to wear a big clock around my neck like Flavor Flav and call myself MC Gramma?... I have to keep my standards up ya know...

Oh, now here's a GOOD one!

"Booty Shorts Model" Needed - Please email us with 5 to 8 GREAT photo's of yourself, including one of you in "booty shorts".... pay is $6,000 for two months. Ok, I wasn't born yesterday mister, you want a bunch of pictures of hot girls in your inbox wearing booty shorts... boy, are you in for a treat! Hot granny going to hit the email right now....this could be FUN...for me anyway! I hope he has a good therapist...

Just WHAT Kind Of Jumper Are They Looking For?

They BETTER not be talking about this kind of jumper ~ no way am I doing this, not even on a GOOD day!!
They BETTER not be talking about this kind of jumper ~ no way am I doing this, not even on a GOOD day!! | Source
I ain't afraid of no ghosts ~ Oh WAIT ~ YES I am!  No ghost photography for me!
I ain't afraid of no ghosts ~ Oh WAIT ~ YES I am! No ghost photography for me! | Source

If All Else Fails Here In Vegas, You Can Always Become Self Employed As One Of The Characters On The Strip!

There Are Some Interesting Choices Here For Sure!

"Philanthropreneurs" wanted to help starving people - Hmmmm, only training I have for that one is "you look thin... EAT something"!! Here, I just made these delicious chocolate chip cookies... have some. Better move on, I don't have all my shots for this one...

"JUMPERS" wanted - OMG, REALLY?? That is crazy! What kind of "jumper" do they want?? Oh wait, here is the description: Person to clean and to move bouncy houses, includes working in the hot sun. OH! OK, they must mean those inflatable houses people rent for backyards for a child's birthday party. That makes more sense now... I thought they meant they wanted someone to jump from something like a building... good luck finding a real, live person for that one! Although, here in Las Vegas, you CAN jump from the Stratosphere. You can even buy the t-shirt announcing that you were crazy enough... I mean brave enough... to jump off of one of Las Vegas' most prominent landmarks.

Oh WOW!! This might be IT!!!!

Photographer wanted to join Ghost Hunting group - aid in taking pictures on investigations of spiritual activity... oh burst my bubble.... "No Pay - Volunteer work only." Now, anyone who knows me knows what a fascination I have with all things paranormal ~ ghost stories, sightings, that kind of thing. I think granny would need a little compensation to take pictures of ghosts, though... next...

Reality TV Show casting call - hmmm, interesting... Looking for the "Nasty Divorced" (or want to get divorced... hmmm, not lately!) for a reality show on divorces. I bet they get some applicants for this one, but not me... better keep looking!

Another Strange Tale ~

We were out one afternoon at a local chicken restaurant on the south side of Las Vegas, and I did see a young lady who decided on the spur of the moment to apply for a job at the restaurant. This is a true story! She was wearing a shredded tank top with her underclothing showing (no, I'm not making this up!) She walked up to the counter, talked to the restaurant manager and came back to her table and told the woman she was with "I just got the job!" I have to admit, I never thought of wearing that type of getup to a job interview... my first thought was "only in Vegas!"

My Conclusion? Las Vegas Is One Strange Place To Try To Find A Job!

And the REALLY funny thing is.... these are all TRUE!!! REAL ads that were placed on Craigslist here in Las Vegas looking for people to fill these jobs! I guess it's true what they say... "truth is stranger than fiction!"

Searching For A Job In A Challenging Place Like Las Vegas

Have You Ever Tried To Find A Job In An Interesting Place Like Las Vegas? Please Share Your Experiences In The Comments Below!

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    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thanks, James! I've never had my writing described before as no sh*t sherlock! Too funny! :) Glad you had fun reading this, it was a fun one to write! Thanks so much for commenting!

    • Jamesbunt profile image

      Erik Van Heurck 

      7 years ago from Belgium

      haha very funny with your "no sh*t sherlock" style of writing on this article, will defo follow. made my day Ms Booty :-)

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      I hear you lindacee! :) I was searching for a long time until I realized I can make a part time income being a freelance writer, and then it was goodbye retail! :) Aren't Craigslist ads funny, though? I have always gotten a kick out of them, but here the humor is amplified I think! :) Thanks so much for your comment!

    • lindacee profile image

      Linda Chechar 

      7 years ago from Arizona

      Great Hub! Yes, job hunting here is a funny and frustrating experience! I searched for the better part of 8 months to find a part-time retail job. I had much more fun reading the craigslist ads than I have had working! :)

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thanks so much Conservative Lady, so glad you liked it, tell the puppy sorry for the scare! :) This one was a BLAST to write! :) Thanks so much for your kind comment! :)

    • Conservative Lady profile image


      8 years ago from Surprise Arizona - formerly resided in Washington State

      Very fun Hub - you had me laughing out loud - scared my dog a little bit when I read the "hot granny gonna hit the e-mail button" line - I love it!

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thank you travel man and Angie! :) I never heard of that job, sounds like you have great stories to tell from when you did that! :)

      And you're right, Angie, it IS one weird place! I like it here, but would NOT want to try to raise kids here!! It's best for adults and retirees I think! :)

    • Angie Jardine profile image

      Angie Jardine 

      9 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

      Wonderful Kathy ... I didn't always understand the slang and references being a Brit but understood enough to laugh ... you sure live in one weird place!

      Well done on your hubNuggets nomination ...

    • travel_man1971 profile image

      Ireno Alcala 

      9 years ago from Bicol, Philippines

      Haha! This is really a good read. Ever heard of a promodicer here in the Philippines? I used to be one. We used to go house to house offering varieties of products from hotdogs to big cans of pineapple chunks. Whew! I was nearly beaten by a dog and a jealous mister when I was luring the wife to buy those hotdogs.

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      You're welcome, LeslieAdrienne! Glad you liked it! :)

    • LeslieAdrienne profile image

      Leslie A. Shields 

      9 years ago from Georgia

      Great Hub Kathy!

      Thanks for the laugh...

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thanks JamaGenee! I'm not sure if they still call it "glitter gulch", they might! :) It's so neat to hear about how things were before and how they've changed! My parents are here for a visit, and they said it hasn't been that long since they were here last, and there are THREE new hotels on the strip! Things change so fast here!! I like going to "the strip"... but coming back "home" is like an oasis from the chaos! :)

      My husband has an Uncle who lived here years ago, and it was mostly desert when he lived here, too. Crazy how much it changes! Not sure if we'll stay here a long time, but we are enjoying it while we're here! :)

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      9 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Oh, does this hub bring back memories of when I lived in Glitter Gulch! (If they still call it that...) I was lucky, tho, in that I already had friends there who

      "knew people who knew people" and never had to look in the Want Ads for jobs. But some you list were there then, and could *only* happen in Las Vegas. There's no other town like it, but can't say that I miss it now that it's outgrown the valley, most of which was open desert when I lived there. (Hard to imagine, right?)

      Back then, summer tourist season ended Labor Day weekend, and the locals would come out to celebrate having the town to themselves again. Winter tourist season lasted from mid-November until Spring Thaw back east and up north. ;D

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thanks so much TorremochaJ and ROBLFT, and I will check out your hub, too. :)

    • ROBLFT profile image

      Robin Lofton 

      9 years ago from Arlington, TX

      This is really funny. . . A very good read. . . Check out my hub called What unemployed individuals 40 and over should know. . . .

    • TorremochaJ profile image


      9 years ago

      Hahaha Funny.

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      You are absolutely right, Flora! :) Thanks so much!

      And thank you catsimmons, too! Glad you like it!

    • FloraBreenRobison profile image


      9 years ago

      Everything in Vegas would be odd anywhere else but normal in Vegas. Congratulations on your nomination.

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 

      9 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Great hub Kathy....I completely ROFLMAO'd :-)

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thanks ripplemaker, I appreciate the nomination! :) Am I allowed to vote? I didn't think I could do that! I'm still somewhat of a "newbie". :)

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      You sure brought a smile to my face! hehehehhe Congrats on your nomination on the Hubnuggets! This way please to read and vote:

    • KathyH profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Waukesha, Wisconsin

      Thank you so much! I appreciate you stopping by and reading! :)

      Kathy :)

    • BusinessOpsMngmnt profile image


      9 years ago from USA

      too funny....oh, and good luck!


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