A Humorous Look At Job Hunting in Las Vegas

It has sure been an interesting and exciting... well, OK, so that's a stretch... trip searching and sifting through want ads for employment here in Las Vegas! Come along with me on my daily job search. So many positions... I wonder if I will have time to apply... why, HERE'S an interesting one!

Cowboy! - Well, heck, isn't everyone looking for a cowboy? WOOT!!!! Oops, excuse me, I had a "moment" there...Oh, Nope, I don't know how to make tortillas over an open campfire, sorry... Paneola... Pani... what??

OH look, another cowboy listing! Must do stunt work and roof falls... yikes, Grandma doesn't DO roof falls...stunt work... I don't think so... next job!

Exotic Dancer - Ok, just HOW exotic are we talkin' here, Grandma doesn't want to break a hip... I better look for something else... although the pay is phenomenal... nah.

Dancer - maybe this one will be better than exotic dancer... are you hot? Well, YES I AM!!!! It comes in FLASHES, matter of fact! One every couple of hours or sooner if it is an especially hot day!!! Finally, one that I really CAN consider applying for! BUT, do they consider the "Sprinkler' and the "Shopping Cart" to be "real" dancing experience? THAT is the question!

"Rocky" type salespeople wanted - Ok, so I worked in retail for 14 years, does this mean you get to punch someone out?? Well, heck YEAH!! I am overly qualified I think for this one... but, I can do a mean 'ADRIENNE'.... I better move on.

Assistant For Executive in the Music Industry - hmmm... wanted to schedule MTV ads... my question is, do I get to wear a big clock around my neck like Flavor Flav and call myself MC Gramma?... I have to keep my standards up ya know...

Oh, now here's a GOOD one!

"Booty Shorts Model" Needed - Please email us with 5 to 8 GREAT photo's of yourself, including one of you in "booty shorts".... pay is $6,000 for two months. Ok, I wasn't born yesterday mister, you want a bunch of pictures of hot girls in your inbox wearing booty shorts... boy, are you in for a treat! Hot granny going to hit the email right now....this could be FUN...for me anyway! I hope he has a good therapist...

"Philanthropreneurs" wanted to help starving people - Hmmmm, only training I have for that one is "you look thin... EAT something"!! Here, I just made these delicious chocolate chip cookies... have some. Better move on, I don't have all my shots for this one...

"JUMPERS" wanted - OMG, REALLY?? That is crazy! What kind of "jumper" do they want?? Oh wait, here is the description: Person to clean and to move bouncy houses, includes working in the hot sun. OH! OK, they must mean those inflatable houses people rent for backyards for a child's birthday party. That makes more sense now... I thought they meant they wanted someone to jump from something like a building... good luck finding a real, live person for that one! Although, here in Las Vegas, you CAN jump from the Stratosphere. You can even buy the t-shirt announcing that you were crazy enough... I mean brave enough... to jump off of one of Las Vegas' most prominent landmarks.

Oh WOW!! This might be IT!!!!

Photographer wanted to join Ghost Hunting group - aid in taking pictures on investigations of spiritual activity... oh burst my bubble.... "No Pay - Volunteer work only." Now, anyone who knows me knows what a fascination I have with all things paranormal ~ ghost stories, sightings, that kind of thing. I think granny would need a little compensation to take pictures of ghosts, though... next...

Reality TV Show casting call - hmmm, interesting... Looking for the "Nasty Divorced" (or want to get divorced... hmmm, not lately!) for a reality show on divorces. I bet they get some applicants for this one, but not me... better keep looking!

Another Strange Tale ~

We were out one afternoon at a local chicken restaurant on the south side of Las Vegas, and I did see a young lady who decided on the spur of the moment to apply for a job at the restaurant. This is a true story! She was wearing a shredded tank top with her underclothing showing (no, I'm not making this up!) She walked up to the counter, talked to the restaurant manager and came back to her table and told the woman she was with "I just got the job!" I have to admit, I never thought of wearing that type of getup to a job interview... my first thought was "only in Vegas!"

My Conclusion? Las Vegas Is One Strange Place To Try To Find A Job!

And the REALLY funny thing is.... these are all TRUE!!! REAL ads that were placed on Craigslist here in Las Vegas looking for people to fill these jobs! I guess it's true what they say... "truth is stranger than fiction!"