ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Arkansaw Limericks No. 3

Updated on December 30, 2017
MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers has been a professional writer/editor for all of her adult life. Before that, she was just a little girl storyteller.


He who laughs at hisself has the last laugh!

Everybody and his dawg thinks Arkansas is funny. Well guess what, we do wear shoes and babies don't run around nekkid. T'ain't our fault that our "Great Communicator" President Reagan didn't know nuthin' about geography. The very idea sayin' that Arkansas was a state somewhere between the Texas and Oklahoma border. No need to laugh at at us hillbillys. We can do the job just fine all by ourselves, thank you. If you don’t believe it, just read on. Today I’m featurin’ Toad Suck, Arkansas. Anyway, join me again as I laugh at, and with, my native state in my third installment of Arkansaw Limericks.

What's the difference between a toad and a frog?

The term "toads" and "frogs" are interchangeable among Hillbillys. Why heck, everybody knows they're the same. I've even seen them sitting side-by-side on a floating leaf in my frog pond. Too bad people don't get along that good.

But first, a little history lesson before the laughin'

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Toad Suck. The original Toad Suck was the site of a ferry that crossed the Arkansas River in the early days, going ‘way back before the War of Northern Aggression. There are too many tales about the origin of the name to elucidate them here, but they all had to do with a man who looked like a toad that sucked. Some say it was booze, some say it was a pipe, but how does anybody know that toads suck?

Today Toad Suck is a little unincorporated community just a mite out from the rising star town of Conway where a festival called Toad Suck Daze is held each year. Now here in Arkansas we celebrate anything that gives us an excuse to celebrate, including, but not limited to, pretty girls, pink tomatoes, watermelons, cornbread, toads, Johnny Cash, and Kris Allen.

Toad races are the highlight of Toad Suck Daze. Everyone, even the little bittiest young’un, jumps right on in and has fun. Believe it or not, toad jockeys come all the way across the big pond to race a frog! The entrants must find and train a toad, which little kids call "toadie frogs". The racetrack is very short, no more than 5 or 6 feet. The toads are all lined up by their owners and the signal is given to be off in a free for all. Stubborn toads are urged with a tap on the popo and usually go anywhere but straight ahead. The winner is the toad belonging to lucky owner who manages to urge the toad to the finish line.

Sometimes a toad will make like a ping pong ball and bounce a couple ‘a times over the finish line just to get the hell out of there, but he’s usually caught and crowned anyway.

The race isn’t for the squeamish. Many a girl is seen holding up a dripping hand and going “ewwww!”

She came to race toads and see Kris Allen


Not the same as "toad" jam

OH, NO! Is this where the racers go when they are put out to pasture?
OH, NO! Is this where the racers go when they are put out to pasture? | Source

Question: What's the difference between a frog and a toad?

Answer: None exceptin' hillbillys don't eat toad legs.

Toad Suck

Twas a young man from Toad Suck

who lost his frog in the muck.

When he couldn’t race,

so as to save face,

he entered the race with a duck.

“You can’t race a dang duck,”

Quoth the master of Toad Suck.

“I won’t take a licken’.

This here’s a chicken,”

And the dang duck did cluck.

The master said, “No matter.”

The boy was mad as a hatter.

“That’s no toad,

so hit the road.”

The boy and the duck did scatter.

The boy sat with the duck

on the seat of his truck.

He was mighty sad,

an’ it was too bad,

‘cause he was s***t out of luck!

We just love Kris Allen

Confusion reigns during a toad race

Do you think ducks should be allowed to enter the races at Toad Suck?

See results

Now for some more funnin'

Oil Trough

A young man from Oil Trough

Took his blue jeans off

Waded in the creek

Frogs he did seek

All he caught was a cough


Twas a young girl from Beebe

Had a cousin from Menifee

Went on a double date

Stayed out too late

They got in trouble, you see

Let's hear from our Ouachita Mountain friends

Jones Mill

A man from Jones Mill

Lived on the side of a hill

Rolled down the side

Clutching his bride

They got quite a thrill

Hot Springs

A young wife from Hot Springs

Who wore too many rings

On horses she bet

Lost her wedding set

Hubby’s wrath she did bring.

Caddo Gap

A reverend from Caddo Gap

Liked a little night cap

A man bootlegged

And sold him a keg

He drank it down in a snap.

One last 'un just 'cause we like it

Canoeing on the Buffalo River

Or eating fried chicken liver

We provide fun

And invite everyone

Our state is a real giver.

Update January 1, 2016

Arkansas was hit hard by the December super floods along the Arkansas River. Of course it was not as bad here as in the states along the Mississippi River, but it was bad in some places. I'm very sorry to say that Toad Suck was one of the hardest-hit areas, and at this writing the little berg is completely under water. But don't worry, Toad Suck will survive as it has survived many floods in the past. Thank you for reading my article.

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Toad Suck.

 Toad Suck Ferry before the bridge was built c. 1969.
Toad Suck Ferry before the bridge was built c. 1969.

© 2015 Doris James MizBejabbers


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)