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Que Sera Sera

Updated on February 19, 2012
And we flew into a beautiful sunset with love and peace in our hearts
And we flew into a beautiful sunset with love and peace in our hearts

What will be, will be. That's what we decided. We discussed the different possibilities that evening, after work in that old run down bar at the docks in Burnham. We had no idea where our plans would take us, but we needed to address the elephant in the room. Were we worried? Absolutely!! There would be no going back and it would change the future forever. We both had created a situation that would not allow us to return to before. Before, I sent you a rose, and before you gave me a kiss.

If anyone would ask me today, if I would follow the path we took, my answer would be beyond any doubt, yes. I couldn't pinpoint what the magnetism was, but there was something about you I couldn't walk away from that night. You were so sincere in explaining you didn't know what the future would bring but you needed to follow your heart, not your head but most definitely your heart. You confessed you would dream about us. Your head would focus on the negatives and your heart was full of possibilities. We weren't discussing love only the fact that we did enjoy being each other. We both enjoyed each other's wit, intellect, spontaneity, and naturalness. We did not address with all honesty what harm we would cause to others in beginning a new relationship with each other. You convinced me all the harm that had been done to your family had been done by previous relationships and problems created long before you even knew me. I should have known some won’t let their misery end. They are controlled by their own misery and new relationships cause old feelings sometimes to be resurrected. Misery does love company, but I digress.

We agreed (mostly you promised) this was not about a physical relationship. We would not go forward if this relationship didn't work for both of us with no pressure to continue beyond our comfort level. It need not be exclusive, although you thought being nonexclusive did not allow for us to build on this relationship. I didn't want to work at a relationship to happen. I wanted the magic of romance to just suddenly happen (movie style). Ironic, I who wanted the freedom to date others found myself not enjoying the freedom of dating and even worried about my friend Carol flirting with you. I even worried you might even enjoy flirting with her more than with me, but I tried not to let you notice my change of heart. But, you had to notice. I spent every Wednesday with you for dinner, every Saturday morning golfing ( it became just a twosome rather than the foursome we played early on with Noel and Bernie and sometimes Bucky). It even became just you and me driving to work. You stopped picking up the others. You made plans and I went along, never once turning down a date with you. We were exclusive, I just didn't admit it. I guess because I was assuring myself I was not learning to depend on you.

We didn't discuss anything beyond dating. We did after falling completely in love with each other discuss the possibility of marriage. Another elephant. I believe we both entered into marriage with realistic expectations. There was 25 years between us that we (or others) couldn't ignore. We both knew the risk that presented. Of course, we were quite sure that we would be childless and that would relieve any pressure of you being an older father and the possibility that I would be left to raise children on my own. We promised each other we would continue to find mutual ground to keep our marriage together. If we could enjoy each other at 26 and 51, we could enjoy each other at 51 and 76. Did we really only expect 25 years? I don't remember thinking beyond that. 25 years would make us happy. Each anniversary was truly a gift. We expected happiness and were overjoyed with all the unexpected blessings.

Now, that I am without you the thing that takes all the sadness away is the 39 years we had together. Far beyond what we expected. I didn't expect children (although we were elated about each one) but ever so grateful we both saw our children raised to adulthood. Thankful!!! We managed to remain in love with each other. Thankful!!! I can’t be sad when I focus on all the happiness we didn't expect. Our happiness grew and grew. If it was meant to be, it will be. It was meant to be. Que Sera Sera.

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    • sweethearts2 profile imageAUTHOR

      sweethearts2 

      5 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      ahorseback,

      Thank you! I love your liking it to a movie! It at times felt like a classic love story, other times like a romance comedy. The leading man was an Oscar winner.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 

      5 years ago

      The way you wrote this reminded me of a movie , the ones where from beginning to end really allow us to realize that yes , there is a chance that love does exist , that there are happy endings in life ! You really shared your heart here my friend !......Ed

    • sweethearts2 profile imageAUTHOR

      sweethearts2 

      6 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      PDXKaraokeGuy,

      I appreciate your comment and your taking the time to read and comment. Please excuse the delay in accepting your comment - I have returned from "What Was Meant To Be" another moment. My children and I took my husband's cremains to Arlington, a very emotional and beautiful event.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      6 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      beautiful! and I love the way you presented it. very moving!

    • sweethearts2 profile imageAUTHOR

      sweethearts2 

      6 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Welcome again Perspycacious,

      Wonderful milestone to celebrate. Isn't wonderful and amazing how blessings multiply. I want my children and grandchildren to know how much he cherished them. He was proud to be their father, once and awhile a little annoyed to be called their grandfather. But, that's another hub.

    • sweethearts2 profile imageAUTHOR

      sweethearts2 

      6 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Hi Jackie Lynnley,

      Thanks for stopping by. Age difference has both, advantages and disadvantages. Truth is the benefit we found in our love. Love was true. I appreciate your comment.

    • sweethearts2 profile imageAUTHOR

      sweethearts2 

      6 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Hi DREAM ON,

      My husband would always say with every birthday "age, it's just a number" and my children would prove it when they would ask "whose's older?, mommy or daddy." and when asked to guess always,always answer, "MOMMY". I know that's not actual proof, but my husband always, always celebrated the answer. Your comment brought back those wonderful "birthday celebrations" Thank you

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 

      6 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      We just passed our 40th. She is at the Community Center for a two-hour workout. I'm waiting for the teapot to sing, and writing a note to you to thank you for your comment on "Best Answer" and to commend this "autumn/spring" love story. Well done. Your children and grandchildren can cherish it.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      6 years ago from The Beautiful South

      This is beautiful, probably age difference is a great benefit if it is true love.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      I loved the hub and the wonderful choice of the video.You proved age is just a number.Love for you was meant to be.What a special feeling I got when reading this personal and heart warming story.

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