Confessions of the Deceased

 as i browsed through these stones
I saw a lot of unknowns
so I walked through the gate
and I found something great!
embedded in a writing so clear
I just had to shed one tear
because I laughed so hard
I simply had to explore the yard
and what I found there
was something worth a share
poor "Earnest Deaf, he never heard it coming"
and "I'm not dead, I'm sleeping"

so then I sat down
on the soft hallow ground
and listened to the sounds of the dead
and this is what they said...

when I crossed the street
I didn't make sure
I looked both ways
before moving my feet

I thought I could drive my new car
but I forgot to brake
and I didn't make
it very far

when I cook, I always clean up
one day, though,
I forgot to turn off the stove
and now I'm in this dump

when I was a boy, I jumped
from places that were steep
I tried it again as an old man
and I ended up
six feet deep

I drank a couple bottles of gin
because of a girl
who broke my heart
now, look at the mess I'm in

I always played a trick
or two, on you
but when I wasn't playing
you didn't listen
I told you I was sick

One day i played with fire
I thought I knew what I was doing
I thought I was being safe
but no, I lit up like a pyre

though, these confessions weren't as funny
on this day that was hot and sunny
I still managed a smile
and it may be a while
before I return here again
by then, I will be confessing my own sin!