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Daddy Dearest...

Updated on April 2, 2013
Self Confidence is Lacking..
Self Confidence is Lacking..
Daddy Dearest...
Daddy Dearest...


Parents love their children - it's like breathing in and out,

When reality proves otherwise, the result is shame and doubt.

Self-confidence falls short, whence a Father disregards,

Self-esteem collapses like a flimsy house of cards.


Weaned upon rejection - warmth and love in short supply,

What lengths a daughter stretches - to earn her Daddy's eye.

Shine the shoes and drag the clubs - for him she'd learn to fly,

Throw tricks that kids with safety nets would never think to try!


Daddy Dearest...
Daddy Dearest...

Declining to pay child support ensured financial tribulation,

Having kids to clothe and feed - just a source of irritation.

A charismatic ladies man demanding adulation,

Prioritizing golf and sex - and a much-deserved vacation!


Reality struck like lightning - on a warm day one July,

When the car that hit her broadside would leave her there to die!

Hospitalized for days on end, laying broken and afraid,

Words cannot convey the pain - at the coldness he displayed!


Now any parent reading this will share in her despair,

Of that instant realization that he truly didn't care!

With bladder bruised and missing teeth, and seven bones a-broken,

No card, no call, no visit - condolences unspoken!


Then fifteen years of silence till he once again offends,

Dispatching via Facebook a request that they be 'Friends'!

Now fifty-odd years old - she simply can't pretend,

Such callousness and cowardice she will never comprehend!


After days of shock and sorrow, balance once again regained,

Accepting that some actions can never be explained!

Surviving life's tough lessons supersedes a PHD,

So grateful that this Apple fell a long way from it's Tree!



Thanks for taking the time!

Please SHARE - You know You Wanna!!

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    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      This hub brought out some other thoughts. Men who treated kids bad come back in their lives with huge welcomes. This was a most thought provoking group of words ...and some men can be so hurtful.. But I mostly think many men are not born with conscience. I am positive of that. Great job..Sharing on facebook and votes Up are always in order.

    • arb profile image

      arb 4 years ago from oregon

      The saddest part of this is that some bruises last forever. Parenting is a profound privilege extended too easily on too many. If this doesn't break your heart then I suspect, you are one of the too many.

      Beautifully written Leslie. There are things in life which defy excuse and those abuses levied on children remain the most unexcusable.

      If we grow from what we are fed then love should fill the plate of every child and every home should insure left overs.

    • FyrFytr234 profile image

      FyrFytr234 4 years ago

      Wow. Thought provoking, deep, sad, very real, and interesting. I hope it was also cleansing. Your true Daddy awaits with open arms and a warm embrace. You know how I feel about you. XOX

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well my beautiful friend and wordsmith, excellent job. A bit personal? Close to home with this one? I'll tell you what it reminded me of....my ex....my son's mother....who abandoned him when he was six years old....called me up and told me she no longer wanted to be a single mother....so he came to me, and he's been with me ever since....and then fifteen years later she called and wanted to see him.

      I understand this one all too well. Powerful work from a lady who pulls no punches.

      love,

      bill

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Oh my dearest Leslie,

      This is the most powerful and profound write on this very sad subject I have ever read!!! Wow, you are truly an amazing writer and I am so glad you shared this here with us, as it speaks volumes as to what an important role a dad plays in the life of his child --- or is supposed to play that is, and that is a harsh reality to so many children across the world.

      This is, to me, one of the most important messages that needed to be stated. When it comes to children, and their being harmed, mentally, physically or neglected as such as you have described, I have zero tolerance and boy do my horns sprout. A child needs her/his father, as they do play oh so important roles no doubt. A child knows early on, what the real deal is, do they not dear one?

      Leslie, you have just blown the roof off this subject in such a well written and profound manner, I am honored to know you and I respect you so very much, as you are a beautiful person who deserves the best this life has to offer.

      Voted Way Up ++++ and sharing

      HUGS, HUGS, HUGS and much UNCONDITIONAL LOVE to you always, Faith Reaper

    • Catharine Otto profile image

      Catharine 4 years ago

      Hi Leslie,

      This is a great piece, one of your best, and I can totally relate. I'm so sorry you had that kind of dad too.

      It's so well written and needs to be said, too, you should be proud of it! I like the way you write in rhyming couplet too.

      Let him see you satirize him a little in public, if his ego is as big as a tree he needs it !! There's a lot of truth in your piece that needs to be said.

      love to you always,

      Catharine

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I knew someday you would write your story and it's beautiful. I never knew my father so i can relate, just because a woman or a man calls themselves mother or father in no way means they are worthy. An animal does a better job in many cases. I know this was a difficult write, but the cartharsis is healing in a strange way. Thank you, hugs galore...

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      Leslie, you have blown me away with this poem. Not only is it technically awesome, but the message is - well, I honestly can't find an appropriate word. I don't know your story but there is something special here in this one. It feels very personal. I was blessed with a great Dad so I cannot say I understand. What I can say is that family is not just about biology. A child has the right to choose, once they are of age. Any parent who thinks they can erase the past is a fool and doesn't deserve the love of their child. But, our human nature often forgives but doesn't have to forget and, they don't have to continue being a victim. Voted way up and sharing! You are awesome!

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Such pain so beautifully expressed. The Facebook request really got me. So cold.

      Well done. I love how, as Bill says, you pull no punches.

    • Louisa Rogers profile image

      Louisa Rogers 4 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      Leslie, This is hugely powerful and hugely sad. I feel for the daughter and only hope that somehow she gained strength from the challenges she faced. Compassion and wisdom are born from pain-- that I believe-- and this incredibly well-wrought and beautiful poem shows your true grit. I think any kind of creative writing is a kind of healing. Fumbling with the words and the images, for me, somehow absorbs and metabolizes the hurt and anger. I get furious at people who have children and won't show care for them. Voted up and awesome.

    • profile image

      freedomspirit 4 years ago

      hey Leslie i can relate to having sick as*hol*s for relatives, xxoo

    • the clean life profile image

      Mark Bruno 4 years ago from New Jersey Shore

      Leslie,, one more awesome hub and love the title. I know that there are so many bad relationships with daughters and father. I am so bless that my daughter and I are so close and full of love. It breaks my heart to here things such as this Leslie. Vote up and awesome!

      Huge Hugs to you Leslie and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas Holiday :) xoxo

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 4 years ago

      This went straight to the heart. As powerful as it is sad!

    • KT Banks profile image

      KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

      This is truly exceptional, in so many ways. Absolutely heart wrenching! Thank you for sharing.

      Hugs, KT

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      "life is like that." All I know. by seeing your pictures, you are beautiful. If life were perfect, would you be? We don't know. But here we are. And you have one more great story. Bless you

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Leslie...at first I wanted to ask you when you met my ex husband but as I read on, I saw this differently. Thank you so so much for sharing such an intimate and important hub. Sending you all kinds of warm thoughts and love!

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      You're so right, Leslie. Children do learn the deal early on. And they carry these lessons all through life. If their upbringing was full of love and support it reflects in how well they treat others. If it's full of rejection and harsh criticism, you have someone who is always angry, defensive, riddled with self-doubt.

      You've expressed this beautifully here. How I envy you deft touch.

      Blessings and light coming your way.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Carol7777: Hi, Carol...let's be fair now - we both know women who lack conscience as well, yes? lol..If i painted all men with the same brush - i'd have to go gay...(not that there's anything wrong with that...lol)..

      thanks so much dear for the 'share'..it'd be soo awesome if all this HOW stuff could reach folks outside of the hub as well, eh? start a REAL movement...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Arb: well said, my friend! I have very little to add to this poem...it is not something i would ever have written had i not received that shocking 'friend' request on FB...i simply could not ignore the gross cowardice - or the disrespect..sigh...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Fyrfytr234: very cleansing, actually....surprisingly...You know i was on 'vibe'...lol..a girl can't pick her family...or - can she? lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Billybuc: yes...i've read of your son - and your ex getting 'tired' of being his mom! Thankfully - he had YOU! We have so much in common, Bill - almost parallel lives (minus alcohol) - so - i'm not the least bit surprised that this affected you and brought back a memory or 2...

      Wondering if your son saw her after 15 years - and if so - how it went. I have no such desire to see my father...i hold no anger and did not write this out of spite....i just don't want toxic people in my life when i've worked so hard to...de-tox...(LOL)...

      love you, Bill - and thanks for your amazing support...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @FaithReaper: Dear Faith - your words are strong and loud and clear - and i both thank you for them - and love your passion and empathy!

      There is a reason i get worked up over folks who are SOOO extreme pro-life that they want to abolish abortion! I'm not advocating abortion in any way, BUT - on the other hand - people should not be forced to have children they don't want and can't provide for physically or emotionally! It simply clutters the world with damaged - and often dangerous - people, and does tons of other damage on sooo many levels. It's interesting to me that those who scream the loudest about the rights of the zygot - are no where to be found when the juvenile delinquents start breaking and entering, assaulting, bullying, raping, and murdering...

      Isn't that interesting?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Alwaysexploring: Ruby, i'm so sorry to hear that you never knew your father - on the other hand - sometimes having no contact is less damaging - at least, that's how i see it after...my experiences..lol..

      You're so right - it was cathartic to write this - even though it was torturous before and during - after is actually quite blissful..

      Thanks for caring and sharing a bit your story, my friend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Irc7815: Wise words, my friend! Even with your 'great Dad' - you understand more than you give yourself credit for! i was the victim long enough - i gave it up for bigger and better things - like living without anger! I can't say i forgive OR forget - but - i can say that i carry no animosity anymore - and that's a lot! I wish him well, i don't wish him harm - but - i also can't invite dysfunction back into my life...

      i also believe some people deserve their regrets - and deserve to live with them..(not that i'm saying he has any...textbook narcissists rarely do...)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @VictoriaLynn; lol...no - i was never the 'punch thrower' in my house - that position was already taken...lol..

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Leslie, that is a very interesting point dear . We cannot choose our parents, that is for sure, and as you have pointed out, there are many children, more than boggle the mind, who need a good, loving home to grow up in, and there are way too many who could provide such, but do not. Those who do father a child, far too many have no business being a father, as they are just not capable as you have spoken of here. Hugs and blessings, Faith Reaper

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @LouisaRogers: Hi, Louisa! I rarely write about ME...or MY life, specifically, so - this was very difficult - like the two i did on the sexual abuse of children - and of gymnasts..

      Hard to write, but yes - also healing...surprisingly. 2 were so difficult to write that i almost quit mid-way - and yet - the afterglow of both was stronger than anything else i've written...veddy interesting..

      Thanks so much for the beautiful comment...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Freedomspirit: Lol...i'm sorry to hear that, but - you're funny anyways...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @KTBanks: Hi, KT - so nice to see you - too bad it's under such sad circumstances..lol..

      I'm feeling much better today - the day AFTER writing this - almost buoyant, oddly..

      Hugs and HUBS back!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Mhatter99: You are sooo sweet, Martin! Yes, here we are - and - i know you know about life's trials and tribulations! You're one of my heroes, sir - your attitude amazes me!

    • profile image

      Paolo Solomon 4 years ago

      You started, and finished it.

      That is part of the whole process that will empower you exponentially.

      Well done

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 4 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi my friend, a very eye opening hub, the bruises on the body heal but the emotional ones rarely every do.

      Well done vote up and more !!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Thecleanlife: Thanks Mark..happy to hear you're an amazing dad..

      Merry Christmas to you and your family!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Justsilvie: Thanks for wading through the muck, dear!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Btrbell: Sigh..sorry to hear about your ex-husband, my friend! Some people don't appreciate what they have - i bet he's sorry now..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Phoenix2327: I like to think there are exceptions to that rule, my friend! I may have a little self-doubt - but angry and defensive - i'm not...

      although..it took time and a lot of insight..

      blessings to you...

      namaste!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @PaoloSolomon:...Wellll...i guess i finished it, for sure...and yes - somehow i feel more settled since writing this..Thanks for your support - whoever you are..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Kashmir56: So true, Thomas! contact isn't necessary to cause pain...Thanks for taking the time..

    • Wrath Warbone profile image

      Terry Chestnutt 4 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      Moving.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Very very sad and heartbreaking ode although also equally important. This poem hit my heart like a lightening bolt as I often thanks God for giving me such a wonderful Dad. Reading this makes me realize, although I no longer have him here, how grateful I am for having had him at all.

      My sincerest of blessings and I thank you for sharing this painful chapter.

      Your friend,

      Beckie XO

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      My dear Leslie,.. my sweet friend.. the hardest thing is for a child to be ignored thrown away like trash or beating ...what you had to go through was so uncalled for.. I am so sorry.. and Your poem lets me know how very hurt you are and has been.

      God Bless you my sweet friend.. My prayers are with you to mend your sweet and caring heart.... your love a fellow man is so wonderful.. it pains me to see you hurt.

      Many blessings

      DEbbie

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Just brilliant! And yup, the apple did fall a long way from the tree, thank heavens!

      Enough material here to fill a novel, you didn't need 50,000 words to tell the whole story. It is more crystallised in a poem and we are all grateful for it - just amazing.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Over and above being an amazing writer...going from genre to genre so easily and I have to say, often with humor and the ability to push the envelope with grace, this is incredible. The poetry brings the pain and situation to the forefront. Having been one of the lucky ones (I had an amazing father) it hurts my heart all the more to know that you and others have lived through this! God bless.

      Voted up, useful, and awesome...wish there was a powerful button.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Shiningirisheyes: Often, dear, i read poems or stories from people who have lost their parent/s and miss them terribly on special occasions especially..

      while i sympathize deeply with their loss - i always think to myself how lucky they were to have had them at all..and the ones that realized it while that parent was still alive - are my most favorite!

      Thanks for taking the time to wade through a little garbage, my friend...

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Imkarn, this one evokes some strong emotions, Isn't it just like you, you had me reaching for the Kleenex one minute, and laughing at that video the next. You are one special lady, it is his loss. A raw emotive poem and so heartfelt. I wish you the very best, take care.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: it is amazing people like you that led me to realize there was a world outside of that which i came from, Deb! People with caring hearts who aren't afraid to open and expose them...i made a choice to change my life and my circumstances - the problem was i did so with such a vengeance - that i hurt myself anyways...lol..

      i've come to realize that balance is at the center of - well- everything...

      I hurt yes - but - he can't/doesn't hurt me anymore Deb - i hurt for others who have the same - or far, far, less...that's what tears me apart - that hopelessness - and i know you know whereof i speak!

      ..i was sooo lucky i had a talent-i actually ought to thank him..that's how i think of it..

      Namaste, dear..

    • sgbrown profile image

      Sheila Brown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

      This is so wonderfully written! It's hard to believe that any human being could be so cold. Children need their fathers in their lives too. My dad may have been a mean drunk, but he never was violent towards me, at least until I got older, but he was always there when I needed him. I always knew that he loved me, no matter what. That still means a lot to me today and he has been gone for 22 years now.

      You are a wonderful, caring person with a strong attitude. Perhaps the loss you felt has helped you become the person you are. I think you turned out just fine, my friend! :) Up and awesome!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Heart-rending, dear Leslie. My response is to hug you tightly and to admire you all the more for the person you've become.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Jools99: a novel or 3..lol..i'm grateful it's done in a short poem too, my friend - trust me! lol..

      Thanks for stopping by and making me smile..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Tillsontitan: You say the nicest things, Queen Mary of Tillson - i mean that sincerely! You are lucky for 2 reasons - you had a wonderful father AND - you realize it..

      oh, and one more thing - your empathetic heart let's me know i am never alone..

      Thanks for your support, my friend..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @tobusiness: yes..strong emotion...can't argue with that! as far as the video? Toby Keith is my absolute fav!!!

      yum, yum, i want some! LOL...

      your heartfelt wishes are deeply appreciated, my friend!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Leslie, good for you in denying the FB friend request. He stopped being a dad a long time ago, where is the friendship in that?

      Love the Toby Keith video!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Sgbrown: Everyone has a story, my friend - sorry about your dad's alcohol problem...

      At least you knew he loved you - that means a lot - as you said! I often ask myself how i'll feel when he's gone, but - i do believe no daughter could have tried more...and i also believe some folks need to 'sit in' their regrets...assuming they have any., that is..

      Thanks so much for your kind words - i do believe i owe him a debt of gratitude - i would not be HERE - if he had been THERE..

      lol..funny how life is..

      xx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: Thanks Nellie, from my heart - i feel the hug!

      I write so little about my life...the last thing i want is for people to feel badly for me - i sooo consider myself lucky - i'm well aware things could have been worse...

      yet..they are what they are - and as you point out - perhaps i'm 'all the more' for it..

      lol..there HAS to be an easier way...haha..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bravewarrior: Shhhhhh...secret, between me and you? I haven't 'denied' it yet...nor have i deleted it...yet! I will shortly, but, quite honestly - i'm still amazed...to see the actual words: "BP wants to be friends with you"...

      Lol..

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Then again, maybe you should give it a shot. Everyone can change once they see the damage they've done and hurt they've caused. Whaddya think?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bravewarrior: under normal circumstances i'd agree - but, he's far from 'normal'...

      but seriously - had he picked up a telephone - or even written an email - i'd have responded politely and i'd have respected the effort - at least..

      BUT - that's not what happened - he used one little finger and 'clicked' his mouse...

      nothing's changed - a narcissist is a narcissist is a narcissist...all he managed to do was turn my world upside down for a day or 2...

      love your generosity of heart, in any case, Shauna!

    • profile image

      freedomspirit 4 years ago

      hey imkarn23

      it's ok......the self esteem is almost back! It's slowly repairing itself.

      ....................................................................but keep writing funny hubs.

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 4 years ago

      This is the third time back to read this before I could comment. The beauty of the poem and the pain behind it speak volumes about how parents influence our lives no matter which path they take. You are such a beautiful, strong woman today - hold onto that and as for the rest, do as your heart tells you.

    • profile image

      freedomspirit 4 years ago

      Beautiful and strong is right!............did you see those muscles?!

      def beautiful too

      :-)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Freedomspirit: lol..i'm just gonna assume you mean the 'OTHER' funny hubs...(but..with you, i'm just not sure..haha..)

      Self-esteem is something we need to work on...consciously...daily...it's not a bad thing, eh?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @SilverGenes: Welcome and thank you for such a kind, heart-felt comment!

      i have learned to trust my gut - if not always my heart...lol..one poor decisions on the 'mean streets' can mean your life - or at the very least - your liberty..if you know what i mean..

      i wrote an article once on a different site called: Why i chose selling insurance over selling my body' - or something along those lines...lol..

      i was very lucky in soooo many ways...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Freedomspirit: YEAH! Sooooooo....watch it or i'll have to 'muscle' you into submission...

      Wait! That's not right...lol

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi Leslie

      Sorry what you have been through but glad that the apple fell far from the tree. Your father did one thing well. He brought a strong, caring compassionate daughter into the world.

      One of my coworkers made a comment that she hoped her niece and nephew will one day try to make contact with their father, her brother.

      He gave up all rights to them because he didn't want another man raising his children. They were around 11 or 12 when he left. They would be in their twenties now. She has not seen them and neither has the Grandmother. They decided it would just cause confusion and his children would wonder why their Aunt and Grandma wanted to see them but their dad didn't.

      I said they were not given a choice and why would they want to get in contact with him. He has made no attempt. She has talked to her brother about it but he doesn't want to talk about it because it is too painful. No more painful than his son and daughter must feel for being abandoned.

      Voted up and sharing

      Hugs :)

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I suspect you and I could collectively take that finger and make it so he never "likes" anyone again...

      I'm with tillson...I would like the POWER button and a dash of the YOU GO GIRL button as well...

      Love you very much, Maria

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Lots of love and big hugs to you Leslie my wonderful friend.It makes me feel so happy when I know that regardless of beginnings someone else has made it through life and can turn round to say"You didn't grind me down!!"

      Or as you say:-

      "So grateful that this Apple fell a long way from it's Tree!"

      You are a strong, beautiful person with an amazing sense of humour and if that isn't enough then to top it all you are also such a talented writer!!

      I am proud to call you my friend. This one I vote across/up and share all around. Have a wonderful run up to Christmas!!

      Eddy.

    • nanderson500 profile image

      nanderson500 4 years ago from Seattle, WA

      I know some women who could definitely identify with this poem. Great job. Very well written.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Sueswan: Your co-worker who hopes her niece and nephew will 'one day' contact their father - is making their lives MORE difficult - not less. It's hard enough to have a parent who clearly doesn't love you enough to even stay in the picture - it's harder still to be given guilt over a VERY personal decision - that really has nothing to do with your co-worker at all!

      Grrrr...it annoys me when people think they're building bridges when all they're doing is blowing them up...

      Thanks so much for sharing this story, Sue - and for taking the time to drop in..

      Pass what i said on to this troublemaker if you'd like...lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Marcoujor: HELLO, my friend! soooo good to see you!! Your comments always lift my spirits and make me smile! I'll 'GO' if you come with me..

      deal?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Eiddwen: Truly - if i know a more positive person - i cannot think of him/her!

      Without one iota of sarcasm i tell you that it would be a pleasure to have any little part in your world - i feel this to be true on the deepest level, Eddy! Those who are able to satellite around your sun are very lucky indeed!

      I appreciate being able to read your kind, generous, and uplifting words..

      and to quote an intelligent woman i know: "And - here's to many more!"

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nanderson500: Sigh...i'm sooo sorry to hear that!

      Nice to meet you, tho! Thanks Nanderson (love the name) for stopping by..

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 4 years ago

      I only wish that the cycle of abuse could end somewhere... I only wish people saw parenthood as a chance for redemption rather than a chance for revenge.

      Just having children doesn't make them parents; parents must grow up themselves before they decide to ruin another generation for life.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @QudsiaP1: I share your wish...it's our responsibility as writers to shine the light in the darkest, ugliest corners..

      Sadly, i didn't have to look too far to find this ugly corner..

      Donating sperm does not a daddy make - it only makes another baby...

      Thanks for taking the time to stop by and wade through the muck!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, can I write a book about a daddy that doesn't care? Not my own, but the daddy of my children. To cry about!

      What saddens me the most, is knowing that God loves him too.

      Again, Leslie, you've confronted your readers with a shocking reality! Thumbs up!

      PS: May all selfish, self-centred, cold-hearted, ignorant, bad-mannered, inconsiderate, loveless daddies meet the devil in person before they die.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @MartieCoetser: Lol..please Martie - tell me how you really feel!

      I adore your passion and can't think of anyone i'd rather have at my back or my side in any fight!

      You don't have a deceptive or cowardly bone in your body - that must have made life just a little more difficult for me - i'm imagining..

      thumbs up - backatchaxx

    • jellygator profile image

      jellygator 4 years ago from USA

      Haunting. I get so angry when I hear stories like yours. My own mother was not so very different - the one who told me I'd never been anything but a problem for her. When I consider how even the best of parents make mistakes that their children must heal from, it infuriates me that some just keep on doing the same kinds of neglect and betrayal and hurt over and over again, knowing full well what they're doing.

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 4 years ago

      By the length of the comments at this hub I feel you've reached out and touched many. I for one feel your words, I've seen and felt the pain of broken parents and damaged souls. Abuse was common in my young life and I suppose it followed me through my life. One can never truly bury the pain and scars.

      We do our best to hide it, yet our souls retain it. What I've learned from life is that there are no guarantees of staying happy or in love or married for that matter. I live alone now, my forks in my road are to numerous to count. Peace and blessings to you my sweet Leslie. You left your mark with this work. Voted Up and shared.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Jellygator: ah, dear - we have something in common, how sweet! my father's favorite line was telling me how i'm flushing my life down the toilet...How productive eh? I truly believe that narcissistic personality disorder 'sufferers' (not that they suffer - just everyone around them..lol) - should never have children...or wives..or girlfriends...etc..

      Thanks for taking the time - this wasn't easy to write and it's just as difficult to read!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @VincentMoore: I'm so sorry that you - and so many others - suffered abuse from the people who were supposed to love them the most! It's sooo sad - and haunting..

      You're right, Vincent - we do our best to hide it - yet - the soul absorbs and retains all!

      Peace to you as well, my friend! Stay in touch, we have much in common...

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Leslie.....Purge, baby purge!....So good for the soul. You have just performed some magic....and you can be assured you've helped to pull a dead rabbit from many a hat!.....Kudos for your openness and honesty. We all love you enough to wipe out any lack anyway!!........

      I have to watch my blood pressure......wanted to be "FRIENDS?!" I'm biting my tongue...........UP++

    • Escobana profile image

      Escobana 4 years ago from Valencia

      Dearest Leslie,

      After your latest comment on my Hub on Narcissism....I TOTALLY GET YOUR POEM!

      The coldness is incredible....painful while reading through the magic of your words. In shock over the actions of your dad. How??? Narcissism would be a logical answer....

      As you continue life with a bruised heart and a crushed soul....remember there are so many people around you who can ease the pain. And you KNOW you're stronger than ever before!

      We are alike in many ways though I am privileged to have very caring parents.

      May you continue to be the wonderful person you are and please come over to Spain one day so we can sit in the sun and chat for hours:-)

      LOVE, HUGS and SHARED!!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Fpherj48: Good afternoon, snazzy sexy Paula! It was strange how difficult this was to write - and how calm i felt after it was posted! I guess i 'Purged'...lol..

      And, my sweet friend - i feel the hub-Love - i truly do...it's warm, safe, and accepting...

      yeah..'friends'...OY...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Escobana: my heart broke when i read your story, dear - i know how much you adored your handsome man! Yes, i guess the comment would clear up any confusion where THIS hub is concerned, eh?

      Lol..

      thanks so much for your support, my friend - i hope you feel the same from here!

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      Sunnie Day 4 years ago

      Such a profound look at how much a man can influence so many areas in a life from husband to father. Sadly there is very little time for do over's and one had better try hard to get it right the first time. If a man is lucky to be forgiven and earn the admiration of a child or an ex...then he should count himself blessed and opposite is true too..

      Thank you for a great hub.

      Sunnie

    • ALUR profile image

      ALUR 4 years ago from USA

      I too honor the role of parenthood and carry the scars as reminders of the agony I have been put through. As a parent now, I remind myself to allow my three girls to blossom with hope and potential, trying NEVER to impress my own notions on them. Worthy scars are worth carrying as reminders of never repeating mistakes and/or learning from them!

      Thanks

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      Leslie sweety ! Do you need a big guy to go punch him out for you ? I'll stick up for you little sis !......seriously , this is sad as hell . I am one lucky Father of the most awesome daugter in the world , and i've made my mistakes when it comes to being a good" DAD", Im just so lucky that my little girl is so awesome ! She's 35 now and didn't always understand me or I her yet , I tried to always be there for her ! Now ? we're friends , father daughter ,confidants , she's my little hero being an R.N. shes got a heart of gold ...........Much like you do ! luv ya sweet lady!

    • Jillian Barclay profile image

      Jillian Barclay 4 years ago from California, USA

      I have read this poem more than once-not just this morning, but when I first found you! I did not comment the first time, but now know how to say what I originally thought. I hope that you are not shocked.

      Sometimes, people are luckier if they HAVE fathers that leave! It can destroy and damage either way!

      How much I would have loved it if my own father had left! I hated him from the time I was a little girl! He was a narcissist and I knew from that time that he never loved me. Don't think he loved anyone----His mission in life was to make others feel stupid, because he felt he was the smartest man in the world, to make others feels insignificant, because he was all important.

      I never had that warm, fuzzy feeling that I see so often when other women speak of their fathers. Mine was there, how I wish that he wasn't!

      I was actually glad the day, when I was 37, that my mother shot him. Alas, she did not kill him, just got him in the arm. I would have aimed much better!

    • Born2care2001 profile image

      Rev Bruce S Noll HMN 4 years ago from Asheville NC

      Leslie,

      The bounds of human relationships are also the chords which strike the music of our souls, especially if we choose to come here specifically to entertain such circumstances. I have read that we even enlist soul partners to help play often difficult roles just to heighten the intensity of our spiritual education. In any case, you're a master of the poetic art of soulful imagery. I am anxious to see the outcome of the streams of emotion that we all experience when we read your work!

      Next subject...I'm waiting!

      Thank you for being you and Peace!

      Bruce

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      I keep ruminating on this and thinking what an outstanding PERSON you are, dear Leslie. Let NO ONE obscure that, EVER. I know it must cut more deeply if it's a parent, but many people may try to undermine or destroy who one really IS. I've BTDT, and, as I've often said, hanging on to "me, myself" through my poetry and other creative pursuits was what kept the person-destruction from being successful. But I know what it means for someone to try. I also knew that the strength in the reason I stayed in the situation, which outweighed much else.

      Who can say whether neglect is easier/harder to overcome or the deliberate intention to destroy? I don't know, but either is a challenge to be met and the destruction to be disallowed!

      I know you don't solicit a bunch of sympathy; but my empathy is piqued so I just wanted to say - "go get'm tiger!" Hugs.

    • ananceleste profile image

      Anan Celeste 4 years ago from California

      You have this a amazing talent to shock me with your strength. I wish I could be just like you. To bring light into the darkest of places, and expose the evil that lurks in the shadows. This piece is like an inner voice that reminds me of so many things that I have buried in my memory. It makes me question so many things. Great poem. Bravo!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @SunnieDay: Brrrrrr....i don't even like to come back here to comment...lol..(kidding..sorta/kinda...)..

      I'm afraid i won't be 'forgiving' him to the point of letting him back in my life - i took too many years to detox - i'd be suicide to invite toxicity back in..

      having said that - had he had the balls to pick up the phone - or even write an email - i'd have responded politely and wished him well..but THIS? Grrrrrr....his cowardice just blew my mind..

      Thanks for getting through it..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Alur: It's not easy being a parent - or, at least - it shouldn't be...

      i also believe that people like you and i - the ones that...'know' - we either make the most amazing parents - or- we repeat the cycle...personally - i can't comprehend repeating the cycle and clearly - neither could you..

      Bravo, Alur!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      what's up doc? lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Born2care2001: i am struck dumb by your brilliant comment, sir! thank you for leaving it on a hub of mine!

      I'm honored...

      Happy Holidays and peace to you!

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      Ahh Leslie ......I'll be your Daddy ! You're probably way younger than I anyway , everyone seems to be ! Im here for Ya!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: You have to be one of the sweetest - yet most rationally intelligent women i have ever had the pleasure to meet! Often - with hindsight - i've felt that i might owe him a thank you - for forcing me to either sink or swim..i was lucky that i learned quickly...lol..

      and you're right - this was hard to write because it's about ME - and i don't share all that well - and i HATE that pity stuff...it makes me squirm AND - i don't deserve it - i consider myself very lucky..

      Tight Hugs Back, Nelliexx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Anaceleste: My friend - sadly - one has to dance with the 'evil that lurks in the shadows' first- in order to shine a light on it..

      my concern lies with that 'inner voice' and those 'buried memories' you speak of...Hmmmm....

      if there's anything i can do to help - you know where to find me!

      i'm available...

      Hugsxx

    • RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

      Robin Grosswirth 4 years ago from New York

      Parents are the very first teachers for their children and it is incumbent upon them to do so with care. I am sorry for your pain and suffering. Benign neglect is not benign at all. The only thing you can do is to provide a better example to your own children. Then it is up to them to do it their way in generations to come. We are responsible for our own legacies.

      May your NEW YEAR be brighter!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Ahorseback: Lol..you're the bestest big bro in the whole wide world, Cowboy! Thanks for the offer - but - i wouldn't put you at risk and quite frankly - i have no desire to punch him out..

      i actually feel sorry for him - altho - he is a true narcissist and they are always attractive to the opposite sex..(did you know that?)

      sigh..

      Love to hear about you and your daughter - you did what daddies are supposed to do - be there and be fair! she sounds like an intelligent accomplished, confident woman - good for you BOTH!

      love ya back, sweet Ed!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Lovedoctor926: Sigh...stealing my thunder AND taking all my fun away...lol..

      love ya anywayxx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @JillianBarclay: OMFG! Like you - i've read and reread your comment - and for several days - have been speechless! THAT is quite the horror story, my friend!

      We have far too much in common, as we know! My 'daddy' was also a narcissist - the difference is he definitely loved someone - HIMSELF! lol..(i'm sure yours did too...)The 'making others feel stupid and insignificant'? He had that down pat as well!

      I do understand that staying can be just as damaging - my dad stuck around till i was 10- that took care of THAT damage..lol.. I'm very sorry about your mama's aim...LOL..are they still together - has she managed to kill him yet -is he still alive(with or without her help)..?

      Forgive my sarcastic humor...nothing here is funny - but - my motto is: its either laugh or slice the wrists, and - i make sure i never stock razors..

      LOL..

      love you, my friend - stay strong - i'll help..

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      Ray 4 years ago

      Can't even begin to comment on that style of parenting ..Good work ...Now take a deep breath ...exhale and let it go !

      xx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Ahorseback: Who's my Daddy? Lol..

      You're probably not that much older anyway...i'm over 50...look 40...and feel 90...

      lol..i guess misery must agree with me...haha..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Robingrosswirth23: Hello dear- and welcome - anyone with a 23 on the end of her name is a friend of mine! Isn't it a most magical number?

      Please - don't be sorry for me - no me gusta! I have come to learn that i'm a very lucky woman! very!

      And yes - for the most part - we are responsible for our own legacies - well said Robin!

      Merry Christmas!

    • Jillian Barclay profile image

      Jillian Barclay 4 years ago from California, USA

      Dear ImKarn23,

      No, they did not stay together, but for ironic- my mother was dying at the time of the incident- she apparently did not die quickly enough for his tastes-she found out he had someone on the side, by itself not so bad, but he and the girlfriend mortgaged the house (she pretended to be my mother), he cashed out all of his retirement accounts and was planning to leave her with no money and a house that would have been foreclosed upon. I got her an attorney through NOW (National Organization for Women), and in the divorce, they kicked his ass. The divorce was dirty and protracted, but she vowed that she would not die-until she got at least half the money she was owed- she was stubborn!

      The irony is that she died one day after the divorce was final. I miss her every day, but everytime I think of her sheer willpower, I have to smile!

      The last time I saw the SOB was the day of the shooting. He came to my house and told me that if I helped my mother, he would come after me (newly widowed) and my 3 young children---he did, but he lost everything!- He hadn't a clue that I had inherited my mom's stubborn streak- he somehow thought that I was still that little girl that he could intimidate, that same little girl that had no self-esteem, the very same one who in spite of being a straight A student thought she was stupid!

      He did not die until 9 years ago---

      Have been wanting to tell the story and will after the holidays. Maybe it will give some other little girls, now grown, some inspiration to never allow anyone, especially their own fathers, make them doubt their own self-worth or abilities.

      I wish you a Merry Christmas! As for the friend request- you are right! Ignore it! Betrayal of one's child is the unforgivable sin.

      BTW- You look under 40 and fantastic!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @JillianBarclay: Boy...could we talk till the end of eternity, eh, Jillian? hopefully, on much happier topics than this..

      Your father is textbook narcissist - but - i'm not telling you anything you don't already know! It's as bad - or worse - than a father who's daughter is in the hospital wondering if she'll ever walk again - or ever pee into a toilet again - and NOT reach out!

      What i've not mentioned except to you is that just the month before my accident - i was sitting on his couch - giving him a fathers day gift and card..

      i had actually forgotten about that - or buried it - for many years - until one day it hit me...hard...

      thankfully - we both grew up - and out of that crap - and learned to view the world from a place of tolerance, empathy and love..

      and on that note, my sweet friend - i wish you a loving, calm, peaceful Christmas, New Years and always!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      You're too kind, dear Leslie.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Ah Leslie--what an outstanding write--some bruises just sit there under the skin surface for a long time--peace and light to you my friend

    • Kenja profile image

      Ken Taub 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

      You somehow transcend the simplistic, the saccharin and the hokey with simple language that tells deep, personal truths. Kudos. You're brave, sometimes even brazen, and very sincere, all at once. You Leslie, deserve a hug, a pat on the back, and a big O -- all at once, or in quick succession.

    • Jillian Barclay profile image

      Jillian Barclay 4 years ago from California, USA

      Dear ImKarn23,

      A Father's Day Card...I am stunned...

      Probably because I cannot fathom something so cruel- Then again, the narcissists never think about anyone but themselves and unless that anyone makes them look better somehow or helps them when they need help, they are oblivious.

      It is sad that as children, our innocent need for that parental love keeps us going back only to be shattered each and every time.

      But you are right----we grow up, and if we are not too damaged, make the choice to free ourselves.

      I have known many women in similar situations. The tough ones grow up smart, self-sufficient and usually outspoken (maybe sometimes too outapoken), with a keen, incredible sense of humor!

      We also know what not to do to our own children!

      The hurt never goes away, but you learn to love life! My best friend, who also had a less-than-nurturing father has always said, "The best revenge is living well!"

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @JillianBarclay: For someone who 'can't fathom' - you fathom pretty damned well! I know you understand narcissism all too well, Jillian...

      Yes, i also know a few women who grow up 'tough, smart, and self-sufficient', but - i also notice that too many of them carry a deep seated anger and resentment that they can't contain..

      One of the best compliments i EVER got in my life was from the woman who i've gone to for massages for 15 years..she told me that i'm different from a lot of women that she sees - when i asked her why, her answer was because i'm not angry or resentful - which is rare (apparently)..

      i told her that's because i'm just happy to be alive - and work every day to count my blessings..

      seems pretty basic to me - and you..

      Love your insight and intelligence - you're welcome anytime - day or night, my friend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Kenja: my dear friend - while i feel the depth and sincerity of your comment, and very much appreciate it - i also feel the sarcastic bitch within screaming to get out - and - i have so little control...sadly..

      Soooo...what i need you to understand , sir - is that 'a hug and a pat on the back'? Will NEVER lead to a 'Big O!' .Perhaps you might apprise yourself of a little ditty i wrote called: Foreplay: The INS and The OUTS...Just sayin'..

      lol..(omg..i truly apologize - please come back???)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Audreyhowitt: I adore when you stop by, and i deeply respect your opinion, Audrey..

      I had convinced myself that my 'bruises' had healed to a degree as to NOT be just under the skin...Amazing what one little click of a mouse can do to make you realize that they never go away completely!

      Wishing you only the best that life has to offer in 2013 and always, dear!

    • pagesvoice profile image

      Dennis L. Page 4 years ago from New York/Pennsylvania border

      Honestly Ms. L I was feeling so up today. I snow blew the driveway, shoveled a path in the backyard for the dogs, fed the birds and animals, brought up some homemade goulash I made and had frozen, was IMing with our friend in Florida and was about to make a garden salad and for some unknown reason I "clicked" on this article. It is so weird because I had just posted a picture of the snow outside of Syracuse and included a song I dedicated to my neighbors across the border, i.e., "The Great White North."

      Well, you got me, my friend. For the love of everything and anything that is sacred, I cannot understand how a father can neglect/not show loving emotion toward his children. You are a remarkable woman Ms. L and I think I knew that long ago when we started reading and commenting on our stories on a long ago venue. I admire your courage in facing the demons that have haunted your past and writing freely and openly about the most personal trials and tribulations experienced by a young woman and a child. I tip my hat to you as I share your story on FB, Twitter, and HP. You have a community of strangers that look up to you, but yet we still feel like friendly neighbors who treasure our friendships.

      There is something about little girls wanting to please their dads. My 3 daughters would set up a stage in the basement, with a curtain. I would drag my sorry, tired butt into the house, knowing I had hours of work to do home and yet, I would see those shinny, smiling, innocent faces and melt as we kissed, hugged and told each other "I love you." Then they would take me downstairs, turn on their record player and proceed to show me the new dance routine. It was never really that new, except for a spin here or a new "Ta Da" moment. I sat there in my suit, tie and wing tipped shoes in the little kiddie chair, clapping and extolling accolades for a job well done. In my mind, I thought all dads acted like this and it saddens me that this wasn't the case in your life.

      Wow...you knocked me off my feet and my heart has been touched deeply. I am so glad we have a kindred spirit!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Pagesvoice: Dennis, this was a difficult comment to read - i'm so sorry i upset your day - between you and me...its hard to respond! I actually thought of responding privately between you and i..

      listen - if you feel sorry for me - i'll have to hurt you...even though it melts my heart that you care so much - and - i believe that you do, my dear friend..

      i am who i am if not thanks to him - then in spite of him! Either way - he had a big impact on who i am today - and - i like me, soooo...

      You know you wriggled a place in my heart - and then into the heart of 'our friend in florida'..lol

      i feel that we are 'connected' from a WAAAAY back - and definitely share a kindred spirit! we think almost identically and i have such a soft spot for great fathers - especially great fathers to girls (imagine that...lol)..

      Your on-going encouragement, empathy, and support means a lot to me, but - you know this!

      Happy new year Dennis - to you and everyone you care for!xx

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      Bumpergirl57@hotmail.com 4 years ago

      My Darling Leslie,

      As I was reading this The thoughts that kept going through my head was" this is my cousin Leslie is writing about. I have known for years of the problems that existed between you and your Dad had and have been terrible. It is not up to me to place guilt or to judge either of you, the thought that a one finger push of a button can take away years of abuse cannot. Would I wish that the two of you could wash away the last 15 years, selfishly of me yes, but the realism is that in order for you to remain the wonderfully healthy woman you have became you must do what is right for you and that is to never forget the hardship of those years ,but to move past them as you have done.

      I am very proud of you and your accomplishments and wish that I could say that your writing talents come from me ... but they don't they belong uniquely to you.

      You have fought long and hard to become the woman you are but sweetie you got there.

      Love Cousin Maureen

    • web923 profile image

      Bill Blackburn 4 years ago from Twentynine Palms, California

      A true poet of the utmost degree, with the finesse of a Masteress! Your work is awesome! That you so eloquently put your emotions to word is even more awesome!

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      Hey Leslie actually I'm 58 , feel 98 . And when I talk with you I'm a fresh stumbling, mumbling 15 !..........lol.....:-}

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Leslie,,, this is so sad for the children it happens to you.. my heart breaks for you and all the children.. many blessings my friend

      sharing

      Debbie

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Ahorseback: Loll You are such a charmer, my friend - i bet you say that to all the poetresses...haha...(is that a word? it is now...)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Web923: Masteresss....interesting word - yours? (lol)

      I LOVE when folks LOVE what i write - thank you thank you thank you! It makes it all worth while!

      Feel free to 'share' me if you love to - i promise - i won't mind a bit!

      lolxx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bumpergirl57: All i can say, Maureen - is that your comment brought me to tears...Thank you for understanding...

    • web923 profile image

      Bill Blackburn 4 years ago from Twentynine Palms, California

      @ImKarn23: Yes it's "my" word (Masteresss) sometimes spelled Mastress, but I'm willing to share it! (lol) Happy New Year new friend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: Sigh...it's ancient history, my dear - you know that! We deal with it, store it, and hopefully carry on with an open heart and trusting nature...

      i do my best to do so every day..as i know you do as well!

      love, dear friend..

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      My dear sweet girlfriend what a friend you have turned out to be.. if your hearts hurt mine hurts.. you do have a wonderful heart.. you really do

      many blessings to you and I am always here for you for my friends

      Debbie

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: It's strange how a complete stranger can touch you so deeply, isn't it? We connected almost immediately - and - i'm sooo glad that we did!

      I know you're there Deb - and i know you know i'm there too!

      What more could we ask for? As you would say: We are blessed!

      xx

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      You are by far one of the most amzaing writers on the hub... and it just seems that each piece you is and has life in and of itself. what a powerful way to express what many feel about less than perfect fathers

      again a great read !!!

      Keep on writing my wonderful friend... please

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @LaurinzoScott: Laurinzo - that is one of the most beautiful compliments i have ever been paid!

      I humbly thank you from the bottom of my heart...

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      This poem brought tears to my eyes. "Lifeforms" who treat their children bad deserve a karmic payment in kind. This poem is so poignant and describes the daily hell that some of our children endure each day.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Sid76: Lol...you nailed it sweets! Thanks for the vote AND the share...

      (especially the share - to be honest...LOL)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @GmWilliams: Sigh..i know this poem isn't...easy - it certainly brought tears to my eyes as well, my friend! I so appreciate your taking the time - and feeling the emotion behind it...

      Hey - i also have some lighter stuff...(and - a wee bit of political stuff too...)

      lol..

      Nice to meet you!

    • FyrFytr234 profile image

      FyrFytr234 4 years ago

      I can answer the question....Who's your Daddy now? lol.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Leslie.. its so hard to lose your father mother etc.. especially when they CHOICE TO WALK OUT.,. but you have proved you can handle life on.. your own.. i want to grow up be just like you

      blessings my friend

      debbie

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: Wow, Deb - this comment moves me deeply..

      i have used those exact words - 'when i grow up..'...and yes -it's cute, but - it means a LOT - and i thank YOU!

    • TheLady111 profile image

      TheLady111 4 years ago from The Vortex

      This piece evoked a myriad of emotions as I read. We have lots of similarities in our situations with our Fathers. I feel your unseen pain, I understand the emotional void created by such a situation. If nothing else, it makes for profound poetry. Thank U for sharing.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @TheLady111: I thought you might...'feel'...this...

      Similarities, yes - but the big difference is - you KNOW your daddy loved you - even if he wasn't in your life..

      some things are out of people's control - i believe he'd have had it otherwise if he could have..

      mine, on the other hand - could have!

      my pleasure on the sharing - i put it on my fb page which should have brought in some traffic..

      feel free to share mine anytime...

      LOL..i ain't proudxx

    • TheLady111 profile image

      TheLady111 4 years ago from The Vortex

      Thank U so much for sharing! I will definitely pay it forward (:

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Children learn form heir parents and when they leave their children it is one of the worst, as a child expects their parents to love and cherish them leaving is not even on their minds. You have put all your strength here in writing such a heartfelt poem.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Where is my girlfriend.. ????? I miss her.. come back...loll...

      okay I am sharing I do like this daddy dearest..

      blessing my friend

      Debbie

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      INCREDIBLE... You have a way of finding those subjects that go unspoken and shout them from the roof top. I adore it. This is not so much a shout as a song. And it is beautifully sung....

      THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS! I don't think people realize that neglect can be more damaging than physical abuse. Even when it is not quite as overt as you laid out here. - I speak from experience.

      You are an angel.

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Stunning work of poetry and shows your talent once again. How a parent could do this is beyond comprehension. I almost missed being a parent, finally happened at 48. I wold not have missed it for the world!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DDE,

      @DeborahBrooks,

      @DanaTeresa,

      @Xstatic: Thanks very much, kind friends for your unwavering support! It is appreciated more than you can know! You inspire me to be better - thank you!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Leslie... how painful it must have been for this child then and later in life. We have long ago entered the world of the absent father in the home. Some are there in body but in mind and spirit not.

      "Fatherless Society" is what I call this. What a shame when I think of all the young children and the way they are seeking love and far to often in all the wrong places... well done and sharing

      Much love from Alberta

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      sad content but great poem!

      I think some adults do not realize their children will remember exactly what they do or don't do - when they grow up. My gram used to say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" all the time ....made me fear being like my bio dad - coward.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Very powerful message! Sadly, this is truly happening in this world, much as we would like to keep peace and harmony in every place we call home, sometimes we get that elusive things far away from home.

      What pensive thoughts from you but greatly worded and bravely shared. Thank you.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Are you sure this apple was even from the same tree? Some men have no conception of how to be a "Daddy", it is just not in them. It makes my blood run cold. My "real" father walked away when he found out his friend was pregnant...lucky for me because I wound up with a real Dad!

      This is an amazing and touching piece...not your usual but your talent shines through with every word.

      Bless you Leslie for being the wonderful lady you are!

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @RollyAChabot: Sigh..you know what they say, Rolly -what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger?

      i'm was so strong...till i broke..

      lol

      backatcha - from maniSNOWba...xx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @CrisSp: Yes, it sure is, was - and will always be happening in this fucked up world..

      As long as we demand that our plumbers and back rubbers have training and licensing to perform their VERY important tasks, ya know?

      Kids? No worries - have at 'er! Have as many as ya want - no one cares whether you're 'qualified' or not!

      After all- it's our 'right' to abuse our children - what perfect, helpless little targets they can be...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @MaryQueenofTillson: You are sooo sweet, my friend - i had no doubt you'd understand completely and - i could almost expect your outrage - being YOU!

      You are soo lucky you wound up with a real Dad - i wound up with a real 'Coach' - as in gymnastic coach...Lol..

      Thanks for your caring words, Mary and thanks for sharing!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Parents can be so toxic and their insensitive, narcissistic behavior can be forever damaging. You are an awesome and very strong woman who is greatly admired-for your talent, your messages behind the words, and your activism. Hugs to you, my friend. :) UP/U/A/B

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeniseHandlon: Sigh..thank you Denise..this hub is very difficult for me to comment on..for obvious reasons..

      i'll never understand some people's actions..

      i do however - appreciate your taking the time to muddle through my...muck!

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Was hoping to hear this wasn't a true story but of course it is probably the true story of many. I know what you mean about some things being so hard to write but it brings such a cleansing and healing once you do. That brought me here screaming three years ago and I had never written anything before. Then the words that spilled out shocked me more than anyone.

      Thanks for sharing. Beautifully written.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @JackieLynnley: Hello Jackie - welcome dear! This is a very difficult hub for me to...visit...

      please excuse my tardiness is responding to your sweet and heart-felt comment..

      i agree - writing is cathartic...

      Thank you for your kind words!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Leslie... Hugs are with you today.... know that you are loved by all who you touch...

      Rolly in Alberta

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Very touching post. My father was not much at expressing his love for us kids, but over time I have come to forgive him. Thanks for sharing this bit of your life here.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @RollyAChabot: Thank you Rolly - i know (and feel) that you mean every word you speak..

      Soooo...thanks again!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Teaches12345: Hello dear...i'm so glad that you were able to forgive your dad...i wish that i could..

      sadly - all hope of that was dashed when he decided to simply reach out a baby finger - and 'friend' me on facebook..not a word to go with it..not a note, a call. etc - just like always...sigh..

      it truly felt as if it left a hand imprint on my cheek..

    • CMCastro profile image

      Christina M. Castro 4 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

      This is Cute and Sweet and Right to the Point! Men should be cautious around the writer of this hub because she has them figured out!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @CMCCastro: hello dear - and welcome! we do need to get to know each other better - we share so many friends in common..!

      Thanks for dropping in...

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 4 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      This one hit's home on so many levels. The thing that get's me is why these parents feel they can just reach back out decades latter and 'start again.' l am lucky I have two sets of parents my adoptive parents who were good and my bio parents who were not.

      Thank you for writing an honest reflection of something so many like to sweep under the rug.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Carly: I'm so sorry that this one 'hits home' sweet friend! That tells me more than i need to know!

      In my case, however - i don't think tapping the 'friend' key was meant to...'start over'..

      his sister, my aunt - thinks it's because my writing is starting to become a little popular - just like he 'loved me' when i was a star gymnast..

      sigh...

      ps..i DID sweep this under the rug - until....

      Thanks for taking the time, Carly..

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      First: You are a brilliant writer. Second: As a father who raised my daughters and now have grandchildren, I cannot comprehend how a person could be so heartless to any child, let alone their own. I can't comprehend it, but I understand it, because I lived it. It took me a long time, (almost 50 years) to get over the bitterness and depression that my father left me with.

      Very good work, Lesley. Voting up and awesome my dear!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Wayne...Thank you Wayne..Quite frankly - it takes me a bit of 'steeling' before i can respond to comments on this hub..

      i don't like the subject matter....at all..

      i also don't like...ya know..people feeling bad for me...i consider myself lucky..

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Lots of love and hugs all the way from Wales just for you Lelsie.

      Eddy.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Eddy: Received and appreciated sweet friend!

      Mmmwwwwaaahh!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Yes, I can sympathize, for this hits home with me, too. You said it all, and then they wonder why they are being ignored...

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Wow, talk about imagery. I didn't even need the pictures to understand the details. That's a lot of pain and sorrow, but also some redemption on the backend. Great poem and this should be shown to fathers of daughters everywhere, for that reason.....I'm sharing and voting you up.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Hello my friend! I don't think he wonders why he's being ignored...i believe that narcissists ALWAYS blame others and NEVER see the error of their ways..

      One glance at Jodi arias confirms this - she may be many things - but she is first and foremost a narcissist who grew up with everything she wanted and never knew consequences for actions! She BADLY needed to be SPANKED...oh soooo badly!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Hi Kasman! Nice to see you!

      Thanks for sharing - i don't have much to say about this hub - it's hard to even come and respond to comments..

      ya know?

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Yep, I think you're right about that. Responding to comments takes a lot of time and energy. And you've definitely got more followers than I have to respond to.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Leslie, I didn't recieve an email about you writing on another site. I don't know what happened, but i do want to follow you. I went to the site you sent me. I have tried all morning to join, but when i try to sign in using google, they say my pass word is not correct, i then tried using yahoo and was told the same thing. I applied for a new pass word, it keeps going back to you are a member, i try to get a new pass word, it goes back to the same old shix. I am out of ideas..Please tell me what to do.

      Love ya,

      Ruby

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

      You're not the first daughter and you won't be the last to experience this kind of heartache. You are, however, the only one I've come across who has managed to encapsulate the emotions and disappointment so brilliantly. :)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      Hello LTM, and welcome to my humble hub-corner. Your words are uplifting, thank you so much. Truthfully, it is nothing but exhausting, as they come out of the past lately, perhaps thinking that i've become 'successful' or something..

      they hadn't expected me to survive, never mind to thrive..

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Leslie, sweet, precious light that you are. I understand how hard it is to leave a comment after you have shared the pain you hold deep inside - so never mind replying.

      What you have done is an act of bravery and courage. I want to hold you in my arms and comfort your 'little child' who still longs for her Daddys love.

      How strong you are! Nothing is as strong as tears. How compassionate you are. Pain teaches this. How trusting you are. Turn that trust inward to your inner child and love and protect her with all your heart. Forgive yourself as easily as you forgive others.

      Our weaknesses allow us to be human and cultivate a better understanding of others.

      You've done a great thing here for others Leslie.

      You'll never know how many lives you've touched and inspired and empowered.

      My heart connects to yours and my love for you is genuine beyond measure. Stay close, lovely Leslie ~ Audrey

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      Audrey, your words fill my heart as tears fill my eyes! I can't tell you how much you've touched me. Thank you!

      I would love if you would join me at my new blog? i'm not writing on the hub any longer...

      My message seem to make them....uncomfortable..lol...(i don't know how to build a birdhouse out of old tires..sorry..)

      Have an amazing weekend my friend and again - THANK YOU!

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 3 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      Karen, master piece of poetry. hugs.. God bless you

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      Toughest thing i ever wrote...xx

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