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How Misshapen-Genitals Shape Lives

Updated on September 07, 2010
Forked organs are fine for snakes... not for men.
Forked organs are fine for snakes... not for men.

Diphallic Terata is a serious, but rare condition wherein human males are born with two phalluses. (I will provide a link, but, click at your own risk, this is a graphic image of genitalia, so do not click if you can't handle black and white medical images: link here). While some people find this condition amusing, it is not. It is not a boon to sexual activity despite how it might seem like it would be, and in fact having two is a burden no man should have to endure. No, the simple truth is that most men who suffer from this rare and sexually stupefying disorder, do in fact just suffer. Some suffer more than others.

The best example of this extreme comes from a recent case study of a man suffering from DiphalicTerata who happens to be, in a strange and inexplicable coincidence of fate which has nothing to do with this hub here, a member of our HubPages community. That dual-weiner-wielding writer happens to be our very own Christoph Reilly. Recent activities of Mr. Reilly brought his condition under scrutiny from the parties responsible for collecting data for this article, and I have subsequently put down the results of that research in this hub article.

Like all spiteful stories of someone’s youth, Christoph’s woes began at puberty when he had his first nocturnal emission. Typically, young boys will, at a certain age, produce a quantity of, shall we say, gamete-rich effluence. This occurs because their reproductive organs have finally begun to function properly. While developmentally normal, this pajama puddle can be embarrassing.

Image censored for propiety.
Image censored for propiety.

Fortunately for most young lads, retaining dignity is merely a matter of slipping the damp pajamas into a hamper where the issue will dry, going completely unnoticed by the time the laundry is done. But not poor Christoph. No, with two hoses working, he was like the concrete guy blowing gunnite onto the side of a swimming pool. When he tried that hamper trick, two days later his poor mother pulled what she thought was road kill out of there. She thought he’d gone mad and drowned a possum in a vat of yogurt then wrapped it up in a pair of fire-retardant pajama pants. She confronted him, and he had to share his awful truth.

His mother called the doctor and a dairy man.

Two days later, after an examination and an uncomfortable pair of nights hooked up to a milking machine “just in case,” Christoph’s condition was diagnosed. It was horrifying for the entire family and Christoph vowed that he would never dream of women again.

"I know it's not comfortable, but it will only come on if . . . well, if it detects a need to."
"I know it's not comfortable, but it will only come on if . . . well, if it detects a need to."
Christoph amazes the crowd as Grendel!
Christoph amazes the crowd as Grendel!

What followed were years of ridicule. The P.E. showers were the worst, and once word got out around school that Christoph was a “two point buck” and various other metaphors, he became an introvert, finally joining the theater club where he could hide in the shadows and the dark. He had a particular penchant for choosing roles where he could play characters with only one wiener, just so he could know what that felt like.

As he got older, he became more comfortable with himself. He used his acting skills to mask his insecurity, and even faced his demon head on one day--or heads on I suppose if we’re being accurate--and took on the roll of male stripper just to prove he was all right. Many of you may have read about that adventure, but having read the rest of the research, I can tell you a lot more: there are more than a few details that he left out.

It turns out that he ended up having an opportunity that was far more sexual at the end of that experience than he revealed. His client was a real dirty girl, and she took him home and even recorded them as they grew more amorous. (I have the advantage of having got hold of the video.)

What I am about to reveal was Christoph’s first sexual experience with a woman. It was at this moment that he discovered having two instruments did not make for a better band, so to speak. No, poor Christoph found out that sporting that much wood just sucked all the blood right out of his brain. Alas, for poor Christoph, arousal means near total retardation. Which is terrible and sad, but this hub is about science and medical realities, so, let’s move forward.

I have to point out, given that this article is being published on the G-rated HubPages, the video is too graphic, so I was forced to make a transcript for the HP audience. While heart breaking, I believe it still speaks for itself and the tragedy of Diphalic Terata and poor Christoph’s sexual malaise. That said, here is the transcript of Christoph's sexual eternity, begun with the scene already underway:

Christoph disappoints sexually.
Christoph disappoints sexually.

<sound of unzipping pants>

Her: Oooh, you have two...? Mmm, this could be fun.

Him: Damn straight. Just you wait.

Her: So how do we do it… you know, with both?

Him: Damn straight. Just you wait.

Her: No seriously, how do we do this?

Him: Damn straight.

Her: Are you okay?

<moment of silence followed by rustling sounds>

Him: I like ice cream.

Her: What?

<screams>

Him: <yelling> Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.

Her: <shouts> You’re biting me!

Him: <singing> My hotdog has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R

Her: Dude?

Him: My hotdog has a second name, it’s M-A-Y-E-R

Her: Where are you going?

Him: <still singing> My other hotdog has a first name and it sort of smells like dirt

Her: WTF?

Him: I’m batman.

Her: <leaps up and grabs her clothes>

Him: Paraguay is the capital of Montego

<sound of door slamming>

Sisyphus, even cognizant of his fate, pities poor Christoph.
Sisyphus, even cognizant of his fate, pities poor Christoph.

As you can see, adulthood came with a new set of issues for poor Christoph, issues that plagued him his entire adult life and into his dotage. And even now, ancient and feeble, he still tries to copulate successfully just one time—the loss of blood precludes memory and so poor Christoph is doomed to keep trying with no clear memory of each successive sexual tragedy.

Even Sisyphus weeps when he thinks of Christoph’s plight.

What's worse, in his dotage, Christoph has had to resort to Viagra now, which costs him a fortune given that he needs twice the normal dose. With no memory of his endless tragedy, even urges for self-gratification leave the poor bastard spending weekends wandering about, licking windows and making antelope noises in the back of the short bus, not even aware that he is really just waiting for his woodies to go down.

Antelope noises are more natural coming from antelopes.
Antelope noises are more natural coming from antelopes.

And the loss of fortune isn’t limited just to his purple pills. No, there are other costs as well. One of the most formidable of these is bathroom tissue of all unexpected things. And the reason is not what you think. No, it’s the cost of having double doses of the dreaded phallic-reality known only as Penile Tip-Sticky.

Yes, that’s right, what for most males is a tense moment the morning after a sexual encounter (solo or else-wise), becomes for Christoph a nightmare only seasoned firemen appreciate via an experience with a un-manned hose.

For most of men, this early morning urinary ritual involves a simple relaxing of the prostate followed by a precarious moment of peering down hoping there will just be one stream. If so, we relax, straight-arm the wall, and let nature take its course as we contemplate the day. But sometimes, a strange adhesive nightmare occurs--a condition known only as "tip-sticky"--and, well, then the snake speaks with forkéd tongue as Shakespeare or some ancient Native American might say.

Snakes with fork'd tongues... etc.
Snakes with fork'd tongues... etc.

At this point, a normal male must make a mad grab for his errant nozzle and, as quickly as he can, make such adjustments with his free hand as is possible. Occasionally, these wayward streams can emerge at such angularity that the roll of toilet paper that is typically suspended not far from where he stands gets a bit of, well, moisture. (Yes, ladies, this explains that warped roll you find from time to time, and no, we didn’t just get it wet while we were washing our hands. Do a little role playing with yourself and see if your hands even pass over the roll when you swing from the sink to the towel….)

But imagine poor Christoph having to control two forked streams! That’s FOUR jets, two tubes, and only one pair of hands. It takes two hands to fix one forked stream. One for aiming, and one for the, uhh, un-sticking process. But poor Christoph has TWO streams spouting four. He must let one stream have its way with the wall, the toilet paper, and, sometimes, with the cat. (You may find it interesting to note he wrote a hub about his cat trying to kill him, and yet somehow managed to leave this essential little detail out, making his cat’s hostility towards him seem completely random. Well, now you know.)

Cat images omitted for humane reasons.
Cat images omitted for humane reasons.

So yes, poor Christoph must stand there, hips contorting, twisting his body trying to get one of the four jets at least pointed where it should be, working furiously to straighten all this out whilst the restroom is being horribly deluged.

He gets one fork un-tined, if you’ll allow, only to find that his aim is now off again--the branches now a singular line pointing somewhere neither were before--and he must once more adjust before moving to the other, erm, member of the dual streams club. Same trouble, and, well, as you can imagine the horror he feels doing this rain dance, and the eternity he agonizes through before finally getting a firm pair of grips on things and all missiles finally on mark, etc.  Etc.

Sadly, and humiliatingly, there is no way to pretend the damage to the tissue roll is “from hand washing” and so it is that Christoph goes through two rolls of T.P. every day. An expensive prospect to be sure, and an insulting piece of real-world minutiae infesting his reality.

As you can see, this condition, Diphalic Terata, has cost Christoph in many ways: years of suffering and ridicule and financial hardships nearly too unspeakable to write down. The only benefit that can be accounted to this bifurcated bejewelment he suffers is that Christoph is about the only man you’ll ever find with both biceps the same size, which is, in case you were wondering, how he ends up with the morning problems described above given his perpetual state of virginity.  I shant go into why that is for those who don't quite fathom it, however, as I might be accused of borrowing topic ideas from him.  So I’ll just leave it there.

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    • KCC Big Country profile image

      KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas

      LMAO......omg....this is too funny!

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Christoph's Children's Book hub brought it on, so if you are laughing at his expense, he should know that it is his own fault. :)

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Again, Shades, you had me at your tags...but that's certainly not the point. I imagine you were somewhat inspired by his offerings on L.T.Fawkes-amazing story but only one wiener was involved.

      Now his 'gamete rich effluence' must be a terrible burden on the poor soul, however your description of his bathroom behavior begs the question, does this filthy yet pitiful creature bother to clean his emissions off the walls, much less his terrorized pussy?

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Yes, that story of his was pretty damn hilarious, but the inspiration was totally in retaliation for his first strike on me in that Children's Book hub he wrote. This is his comeuppance as they say. :D As far as his walls go, I am quite sure I don't want to know. LOL.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

      Unspeakable! You have told my secret. Well, now that it's out in the open (so to speak), I wonder if there are any lovely ladies out there who would help to cure a misunderstood soul? The bathroom part of this atrocity is baseless! So? I have two penises! Double your pleasure double your fun! Please, there must be a woman of unspeakable beauty who will take pity on a sexually heightened and highly charged unfortunate? I beg you? I like long walks on the beach in the moonlight (I live on the beach) and having deep conversations about relationship issues. Please contact me and help this sweet soul, who only wants to love and cherish a special lady; to shower her with love, attention and diamonds, and just plain shower her. I'm independently wealthy. Please respond.

      Signed, Horny in Hawaii

      @lorlie: Don't listen to anything that comes from this viper's pen. HE started it a long, long time ago. To imply that this is for retribution for my hub which in itself was retribution for not 1, not 2, but 3 offensive, demeaning hubs about or stolen from me.

      Shades: Of course you know, THIS MEANS WAR!

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      I don't know...I'll have to give this some thought. You both sound a bit tainted to me.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Oh, the be-pronged lemming has challenged me to a duel... again. Verily I tremble in my booteths etc., etc.

      (LOL @ "Just plain shower her")

      Lorlie, don't look into his eyes. Look away and run before he tries to seduce you into believing his lies!

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      At least he HAS eyes, my dear Shades.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      True. All the better to see you with, and all that rot.

    • Petra Vlah profile image

      Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

      Please tell me this is a joke and you guys are not really at war with each other. I like you both a lot and appreciate your sense of humor (which I lack most of the time, but appreciate in others). I will go read Chritoph's hub now and try to understand what could have inspired yours. Will be back to comment again later

    • Shadesbreath profile image
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      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      All in good fun. :) Except I just got the ads shut off on it. (sigh). I suppose I know why, but I'm going to ask anyway. Thought I was delicate enough.

    • Jack Crockett profile image

      Jack Crockett 6 years ago from Columbia, Missouri

      This is hilarious. I especially like the scene with the lady. Had me rolling. I'm sure this writing has him shaking in his shorts! I'm off to read what he has done to cause this attack on him.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
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      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Hiya Jack, glad you were amused. I was amused when I made that transcript of the actual video event too ;-D

      I'm sure you will see how deserving he was of what he got once you read that unproked assault on my totally innocent self.

    • ACSutliff profile image

      ACSutliff 6 years ago

      Shadebreath,

      I was wondering when you were going to counter attack. I'm not sure who to believe anymore, so I will just stand back, enjoy the show, and laugh until I turn blue in the face.

      I just can't get over how much both of you know about each other's childhoods! It's almost as if you're brothers or something. In fact, that would explain a lot....

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Hah, wouldn't that be funny if we were long lost brothers. He's the child my parents put in a basket and floated into the sewers beneath Gotham City where he was raised by escaped penguins.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

      It's true that I haven't seen my brother for many, many years, only HE was the one left to float in the sewers. Since I rarely eat fish, it's not likely I was raised by penguins.

      The wheels of justice are turning!

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      Shades, I had a better opinion of you than this! How cruel to tease poor Christoph this way. Of course everyone knows that this is a made-up story, but you know that you are hitting below the belt, since Christoph is so sensitive about... “you know what”.

      Not many people know that he tried to skinny dip one evening at Habee’s swimming pool, only to cause the sensor lights to come on. And how was he to know that in the garden next door about 60 women were in hiding to surprise their friend with a hen party?

      When the lights came on and they all saw Christoph’s pathetic little willy, they…. Well, the poor lad has not been able to recover since then. But at least he made sixty women grateful for whatever little mercies they had at home, what?

      So you choosing to make up a story like that, I think shows a lack of taste and certainly a lack of human compassion. I really think you should stop embarrassing the poor lad and remove this story form HubPages. Really.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Chrstoph, any wheel made by you will surely have flat edges, so, I'm certain, poor Justice will never get her chariot out of the stablse.

      De Greek, I can see you watched the same set of videos I did. And while you make it sound like he made the sixty women grateful through something other than laughter, I know what you mean having seen that sad moment too. I only posted what I did so that, well, so the interest of science is achieved. I want people to be aware of this condition, as I'm sure Christoph does as well. As for a lack of compassion and taste, well, those are notes within my range, as it were, so I must sing them. :D

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      And I thought I stretched the bounds with my Fokk University hub. NOT! Shadesbreath and Christoph, you set a standard it will be exceedingly impossible for the rest of us mortals to emulate.

      So why am I laughing myself silly at the emissions (?) of you both?

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      If you're laughing at this sort of thing, drbj, it suggests you are an immature knave of the most nefarious kind. Rather like Christoph and I.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      You got it, Shady. I am pleased to even be honorable mention in the company of such infamous varlets.

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      Uh-huh. I was waiting for this counter point to the point. CR stated that his Hub was the retaliation, but no, I knew better. He had said, "As for retaliation, whatever for? After all, I owed him and were he to retaliate, then I would be forced to do likewise, and before you know it, HubPages Thermo-Nuclear War!"

      Fine job, Shades. Now I'm waiting for the war.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Yes, poor, injured little Christoph, always the victim. I'm glad you see through it and I'm not the only who can see through his sweet façade. He is an irascible raconteur and should be... he should be... uh... whatever happens to irascible raconteurs.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

      Indeed, I am a raconteur, but I'm very "rascible."

      De Greek: Silly duffer! The pool sensor lights were set to come on when particularly unidentified LARGE objects entered the pool, lest a shark got lose. The 60 women next door and I had a long and eventful evening!

      Sally: You believe this charlatan? The evidence exists, posted on my hub for all to see, the links there to follow plain as day. I need not argue this: the evidence proves the truth.

    • mysterylady 89 profile image

      mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

      I had so looked forward to this hub, and I am not disappointed. This time I also checked out your tags...delightful! And the war begins!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      Nothing like packing two pistols instead of one. He is just a two shooting sun of a gun. What kind of shorts do you buy to keep them both dead centered and neither hanging out the sides? One would now be forced to use two hands instead of one when peeing to prevent those pistols from having a life of their own, like in the bathroom scenario you portrayed here.

      Those hens at the pool party must have been overjoyed at the site of this cowboy in their pool. However when your a cowboy and if your from Texas, one can expect BIG things happening even in pools. He must not have had his cowboy hat on, because if he did he surely being a gentlemen cowboy would have hung his hat over his two pistols to really crank those old ladies up. he he he.

      Shades you are in for a ride now, Christoph is going to come shooting with both guns a blazing, so take a deep breath shades the cowboy is riding bare back now. Yippy Yi Oh Kyee. he he

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Reilly... etc., etc. Don't make me taunt you a second time (spoken with a bad French accent).

      Hi Mysterylady. Was wonderin' where you were. Haven't seen you around lately. Welcome back.

      Saddlerider, he may be dual-weilding as they say in Dungeons and Dragons (which is far more appropriate a reference in Reilly's case than any Texas thing he's got going - the hat is more of a Howdy Doody thing than gun slinger, IMO), but he's dua-wielding squirt pistols. Likely the cheap party-favors kind where you get 12 for a dollar: they don't shoot far or for long; are tiny and see-through; and they come in colors like flaccid fuchsia and limp lime green. I'll just bring a towel if old Limp-along Cassidy comes a ridin' on over. :D

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 6 years ago

      I just wandered in here and found all this going on and well, I am shocked. As a member of PETA, all I can say is I'm darned glad there are no sheep on CR's range. After reading this I had to head over to the library for an educational video to see what I'd missed but all they had available was "Two Mules for Sister Sara". Perhaps CR would find that helpful.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Yes, you are quite right to worry about your animals when he's around< SilverGenes. While Clint Eastwood was after Sarah, you're probably spot on to think Christoph would have no interest in a young Shirley MacClaine. A pair of carrots for the mules, perhaps, but no flowers for the lady in the penguin get up. :D

    • Beth100 profile image

      Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

      OMG I was waiting for your retaliation to Chris' hub! This is too hilarious!!! Can't stop laughing.... :XD

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      He deserves to laughed at, so I can hardly blame you for your mirth. :)

    • mysterylady 89 profile image

      mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

      Right after I commented on this hub, I watched the last half of an old Jon Stewart show during which he interviewed Drew Barrymore. It seems he has the same problem with his anatomy as CR's...except at the end Drew mentioned something about 5. I could not believe the coincidence!

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Well, beware the mysterious stranger in your near future. Or, not beware? :D

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Forgive me for laughing dearest Christoph, but this is awfully damn funny. You must get even with Shadesbreath for "letting the cat out of the bag", so to speak.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Two cats one bag. :D And don't worry, it won't be the first time Christoph has been laughed at by a woman.

    • Sa`ge profile image

      Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

      the right is the left and the left is the right! the darkness is, that the light can shine! let the day feed the night and the night feed the day, now we shall see the play! ~aloha~

    • Shadesbreath profile image
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      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      I like that.

    • OrlandoC profile image

      OrlandoC 6 years ago from Glen Ridge

      Wow, that was great. I thought it was true until the second paragraph used the word "weiner".

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      What, you mean scientists don't say "wiener" in academic writing? Damn, I blew my cover! :D (Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. :)

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

      I came in here thinking to myself, now how will I delicately respond on such a horrid affliction...all I could utter was a loud "D'oh!"

      Can I just say that this hub was double the pleasure and leave? :)

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      "Double pleasure" can be read so many ways. :P

      Thanks for the read and comment... it is a hard one to respond to, erm, two... ah, never mind.

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      This is great! I'm traumatized. I clicked the links. I am laughing so hard.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Good, it worked! :)

    • spryte profile image

      spryte 6 years ago from Arizona, USA

      "Alas, for poor Christoph, arousal means near total retardation." OMG...that line alone sent me into tears of laughter.

      Sorry Chris darlin...unless you can find a willing pair of Siamese twins joined in just the right manner... :)

      Of course the ads were gonna get dropped on this because of the links! LOL! That picture may have been black and white, but the page it comes from didn't look very medical to me. :P

      So how did the thought process go for this one? "So...Chris wants to get into a humorous pissing contest...hmm...pissing...penis...small penis...been done to death...penis abnormality...mebbe...I know! Double dick!" Then again, upon further reflection...I don't really want to know how your brain works. :P

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      I know, Spryte, that's my favorite line too. Thalia came right down and whispered that one to me, said something about Reilly deserving what he gets, and stuff. :)

      And yeah, that's about how the idea came about. Everything about small or impotent or anything else was too much a rip off. There was no way to emasculate him more than he fired off in his hub at me, so, the only thing left was to go the other direction. :D

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

      An outrage!

    • alishaneuron profile image

      alishaneuron 6 years ago from Colorado (U.S)

      Thank you that you accomplished the good enough issue close to this topic. I enjoyed really.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Thanks for saying so, alishaneuron. :)

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 6 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      As a new member of Hubpages, I was horrified, yet also amused, by your article. But kind Sir, Mr Shadesbreath, I realise that there has not only been deep and somewhat personally invasive medical research made into the matter, by yourself but that you are obviously, also a man of letters; hence the amusing and elegant literary analogies that crop up within your scientific descriptions. May I suggest, kind Sir, that were you to look into, and theregy broaden, the Cultural and Religious background of your treatise, you would be aware that the said victim of your observations, and also the victim of your barbed wit (Mr C Reilly), would not have been afflicted with the early morning discomforts you had so described if he had been a German, or a Practising Muslim, of the male sex; both groups are required to sit on the lavatory pan; the former due to fashion and relatively recent cultural requirements; the latter, on religious grounds.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Ahah! You suggest a sequel: "Karachi Christoph" or perhaps "Hosing Down the Reich." A fine idea, and one that might well serve as a deterent lest he provoke me again as he did this time, I in my innocence in all things.

      (Sorry about the horrified thing... I seem to have that effect on people. :-D

    • evvy_09 profile image

      evvy_09 6 years ago from Athens, AL

      Why did I read the whole hub? I have no idea but just kept reading, laughing and snorting the whole time. So funny!

      Edit: I am a lady and ladies don't snort, so therefore no snorting was involved merely delicate giggles.

    • Shadesbreath profile image
      Author

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Of course it was only giggles. For not one second did I think a lady of your, uh, ladylikeness, would snort and guffaw in an unseemly manner. :) (And for the record, Christoph deserved this, so if you haven't read his unwarranted attack on me, you should because, well, it's hilarious. He's about as funny as it gets on HP when he's in full stride.)

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