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E.G.G Episode 42: Cleaning House

Updated on July 31, 2015


Previously, on E.G.G...

Spider-Man 2099 made it back to the past to prevent the Dark Day! Unfortunately James Collins came with him, and shattered the Xtractor! Luckily, his mere arrival drew Eileen away from the battle with the Syndicate commander that had caused her to first exhibit her Darkstream abilities, as she went to investigate. Josh and Acacia stopped the bomb, and Eileen, realizing that James needed medical attention, took him in. Agent Rice, on the other hand, had a scuffle with Squirrel Girl, and ended up taking her (reluctantly) as his partner. When Josh and Acacia returned to E.G.G Base, they found Eileen... and James.

Click here to read E.G.G Episode 41: Brand New Day

Click here for Episode 41 Q&A

Episode 42

-Cleaning House-

Agent Rice lay on a roof, across the street from the library, looking in with binoculars. Squirrel Girl was sitting to the side, picking at dirt. She sighed loudly.

“When are we gonna do cool spy stuff?” She asked.

“We’re doing it.” Rice said.

“No, we’re sitting on a roof. I wanna fight!” Squirrel Girl complained. Rice growled under his breath.

“If you don’t like it, go back to the park.”

“No! I’m fine. I’ll be quiet.” She sat twiddling her thumbs. Then her stomach growled. “I’m hungry! Do you have any nuts?”

“Yeah, two of them.” Rice smirked.

“Really? Where!” She began to sniff Rice.

“Wha- Get off me! I don’t have any nuts!” He said. Squirrel Girl frowned.

“You really shouldn’t go and trick people like that.” She said. “I love nuts!”

“I’m sure you do.” He said. He looked at her. “Hey, I pulled your file at S.H.I.E.L.D, there’s not much on you.”

“Well, I’ve lived in a park all my life, so yeah, I don’t think there would be.”

“We don’t have a name, a date of birth, nothing beyond a physical description and a police record.”

“Police record?”

“Yeah, you wanna explain to me why you were arrested on 12 accounts of public nudity?” Squirrel Girl sighed.

“Oh, that. Like I said, I live in the park. Where else am I gonna take a bath?”

“Right. So, no parents…”


“Well, you weren’t born a squirrel.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Okay, can you at least tell me your name?”

“Squirrel Girl.”

“Your real name.”

“That is my real name.”

“Really.” Squirrel Girl shifted uneasily.

“Listen, I don’t like all these questions. I’m gonna go scavenge for food.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Both Rice and Squirrel Girl turned around to see Nick Fury. Rice stood up and saluted.

“Director Fury.” He said. Fury glanced at Squirrel Girl, who nervously hid behind Rice.

“Who’s this?” He asked.

“My, um… She’s my partner, sir.” Fury looked at him. “Ahem, um, what are you doing out in the open sir?”

“I’m out of hiding.” He said. “Pack up your stuff, you’re going to New York.”

“What about Agent Wuthrich? My mission?”

“Don’t worry.” Fury said. “They’re going to New York too.”

“Pack up your stuff, you’re going to New York.”
“Pack up your stuff, you’re going to New York.”

* * *

“You’re fired.” Josh said to Eileen.

“What? Why?” Eileen asked.

“Um, the same reason you were avoiding me all day yesterday.” Josh said. “For bringing that… that guy into my base!”

“His name is James.”

“I don’t care if it’s Fred! He’s still in my base!”

“Actually, I’m Fred.” Acacia interjected. “He can be Tom.” Josh looked at her.

“Tom?” He said. “How can look at him and say Tom? I’d say Brandon maybe…”

“So, we’re good here?” Eileen asked, standing up.

“Sit down!” Josh ordered. “I’m not through with you!” Eileen sighed.

“Josh, he had nowhere else to go!” She said. “Kristen said he needed to rest.”

“There are benches in the park.” Josh said. “You know, where you found him!”

“Josh, have a heart, he’s a nice guy. And, you know, he’s kinda cute…” Josh snapped.

“There it is!” He said. “That’s the only reason you brought him here!”

“Oh come on!” Eileen said. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in years!”

“Well you can’t date him, it’s against the rules.”

“Number one, you broke that rule for months. And number two, he’s not even an agent!”

“Easily remedied!” Josh opened the door. “James!” He called. James walked up.

“Yeah?” He said.

“You’re an agent of E.G.G.”

“Oh sweet! So what do I-” Josh slammed the door in his face.

“Ha! Now you can’t date him.”

“You’re right.” Eileen said. “But now you have no grounds to fire me. You just made him an agent.” Josh paused.

“Wait… What just happened?”

“Eileen tricked you into making James an agent.” Acacia said. Josh stood there, dumbfounded.

“Oh…” He said. Suddenly the door opened, and Nick Fury walked into the room.

“Pack up gang, you’re moving to New York.” He said. Josh’s eyes widened.

“Zombie!” He screamed. He swung at Fury, but Fury caught his arm and flipped him over, slamming Josh to the ground. “Ow… Even when he’s dead he’s got the moves!”

“He’s real Josh.” Eileen said. “He returned to S.H.I.E.L.D yesterday. He was on an undercover operation and needed the public to believe he was dead. Didn’t you get the memo?”

“No,” Josh said, standing up. “I was too busy staring angrily at James.”

“And that party we threw in his honor yesterday?” Acacia asked.

“That’s what that was for? I thought it was because we stopped the bomb!”

“There was a giant banner that said Fury Lives!”

“…Okay honestly, I had a lot punch last night…”

“Excuse me.” Fury interrupted. “If we’re done here, you guys are moving HQ to New York City.”

“But why? I love it here!” Josh complained.


“Yeah!” Josh said. “We’re all covert operations in an underground lair! And what about our friends? Kristen, that loser librarian Jake? What about Lightstream!”

“I’ll have Kristen and Jake transferred, we can do that, we’re S.H.I.E.L.D. As for Lightstream, she left for New York yesterday.”

“She did?” Josh asked. Fury nodded. “Pack up guys, we’re going to New York!” Josh exclaimed.

“Wow.” Acacia said. “You are so sad.”

“This was always a temporary base.” Fury said. “The real deal is waiting for you guys in the big apple.”

“Thanks Fury.” Josh said. Then he gasped. “Are we getting new Mother Egg?”

“Shell no!” Fury replied. “I’m never giving you another one of those things!” He walked out of the room. “Be ready to leave tomorrow.” He got into the elevator and was gone.

“Well, looks like we’re moving to the big city!” Josh exclaimed. “I bet Lightstream will be so surprised to see me!” Josh rushed off. Acacia shook her head.

“So sad.” She said, then she walked off to pack.

* * *

New York City. The city that never sleeps. Much busier than Chandler, Arizona and the complete antithesis of Rexburg, Idaho. Cars constantly flooded the streets. People barely squeezed by each other on the sidewalks, everyone with a cell phone, brief case, or coffee. Subways roared underground and buildings screamed to the skies. Eileen stared up in horror at the skyscrapers above.

“Why did we come here.” She said.

“You act like this is your first time.” Acacia said, smiling.

“Because last time I was here I was flying above the buildings… during an alien invasion. For a farm girl like me, this is all a bit overwhelming.” Josh approached with a map.

“Okay… I have no idea how to find Grand Central Station.” He said, examining the map. Acacia sighed, grabbed it, and flipped it around. “Oh!” Josh said, grabbing it. He looked at it for a few more seconds. “Yeah, I’m still lost.” Acacia face palmed. On a nearby bench, Rice sat with Squirrel Girl, hiding behind a newspaper. People passed by, staring at the large tail on Squirrel Girl’s back.

“Can you take that off,” Rice said. “You’re drawing too much attention. We’re supposed to be discreet.

“Oh no, sorry, it’s attached.” She said, swinging it back and forth. “See.” Rice sighed. “Hey, can we do cool stuff now? I wanna fight bad guys! I wanna use cool gadgets! Come on, you’re holding back on me! When do we do all the spy stuff!” Rice gripped his newspaper tightly. Then he got an idea.

“Okay, we’ll cool spy stuff, starting now.” He said.

“Really? Sweet!” She exclaimed.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get the cool spy gadgets, you go wait up on that roof.” He said, pointing. “I’ll get you when it’s time to fight bad guys. Okay?”

“Yes sir!” She exclaimed. She got onto all fours and scurried down the street.

“Well that was easy.” Rice said. He looked back at her. Then he shook his head. “She’ll be fine.”

"Yes sir!"
"Yes sir!"

* * *

Josh, meanwhile, was wondering the streets aimlessly.

“Where is it?” He asked. “Man, I should have rode with Fury.” He looked around. “Hey, where’d Eileen go?”

“I’m pretty sure she went to the mall.” Acacia said. “You know, the one we passed by three times.”

“Well what’s she doing in there?”

* * *

“I don’t know about this,” James said, holding up an ‘I heart NY’ shirt. “It’s kinda… tourist.”

“I like it.” Eileen said, putting a purple hat on him. “And the hat’s a nice touch too.”

“Well, if you like it.” He said, grabbing it.

“Oh, this is screaming your name!” She said, holding up a leather biker jacket.

“It’s cool.” He said, examining it.

“Oh, check this out!” She exclaimed, holding up a shirt with Spider-Man on it. James frowned.

“Not really a Spider-Man guy.” He replied.

“Really? Oh well, Josh will love this.” James picked up a blue tank top.

“Hey, I think this would look good on you.” He said. Eileen scrunched her nose.

“Don’t know about the blue.” James flushed red.

“You’re right, it was totally stupid.” He quickly began to put it back, but Eileen caught his arm.

“But if you like it.” She said, smiling. James smiled.

“Hey!” They both turned to see Josh. “What the shell are you two doing?”

“James needs normal clothes.” Eileen said.

“He’s gonna be in an E.G.G uniform every day. He doesn’t need normal clothes. Can we go?”

“Do you know where to go yet?”

“I… no. I don’t. But maybe if I had some help!” Eileen laughed.

“Okay, let’s go James.” She said. She paid for all of the clothes and James grabbed the bags. They all walked outside when James bumped into someone.

“Sorry.” He apologized.

“It’s no problem.” The man said, not even stopping. James continued to follow Josh, Eileen and Acacia. The man, who happened to be Miguel O’Hara, looked back. “Was that… hm, oh well.” He shrugged and continued to walk.

* * *

It was midnight. Josh sat sadly, head in his hands, in Gramercy Park. Acacia stood with a group of people, clapping to the rhythm of a street guitarist. James was sitting in the grass eating a churro. Eileen had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Nick Fury approached Josh and sat next to him.

“So,” Fury said. “Osborn’s done unpacking his room. Jocasta’s fully installed. The Aoki kid already knows where to find the cookie jar. And your ex decided to throw a party, seeing as how not one authoritative figure has even found the base. What do you have to say?”

“Can you please tell Osborn to go home.” Josh replied. “I mean, I can see his mansion from here.” Fury laughed.

“Come on.” He said, standing up. Josh sighed and stood up.

“Wake up Wuthrich.” He called, as Eileen jumped up.

“I was just resting my eyes.” She lied. She looked to see she had been lying on James’s shoulder. “Oh, I am so sorry!” She said. James smiled.

“It’s fine.” He said, helping her up.

“Acacia, let’s move.” Josh ordered.

“Aw, one more song!” Acacia begged. Josh grabbed her arm.

“Come on.” He said. Rice stood a little ways away, looking through binoculars. He looked at his watch. Then he shook his head.

“She couldn’t possibly still be waiting there.” He said to himself. “She has to know I’m not coming back by now.” He started to pack up his stuff. “Yeah, she probably went to Central Park or something. All kinds of squirrels and nuts and…” Suddenly he heard thunder clap in the sky. “Crap.” He closed his briefcase and left the park.

* * *

Josh followed Nick Fury into Grand Central Station. It was empty at night, but not deserted. They walked past the large clock in the middle of the room. They walked through an archway and down a staircase. Fury approached a door that said ‘Employees Only’. He scanned an ID card and it unlocked. Fury opened it to reveal an elevator.

“Cram in guys.” Josh said as he, Fury, Eileen, James, and Acacia all got in. The elevator began to descend. “So, where else does S.H.I..E.L.D have secret bases stashed?” Josh asked.

“Classified.” Fury replied.

“Of course it is.” The elevator stopped, and opened into the brand new E.G.G Base.

“This was a proposed subway station that was abandoned in the late 90’s.” Fury informed. “It was determined too deep underground and too unstable for passenger transportation.”

“And you’ve got us down here!” Josh exclaimed. Fury looked at him. “Oh, S.H.I.E.L.D cover-up, right.”

“Right. Oh, and watch the third rail. It’s still active.”

“Really?” Acacia asked.

“No.” Fury replied.

“Oh, Fury’s got jokes.” Josh said. Fury led them to the new Inner Shell, where the agents were having a ball. Josh sighed. “Alright people, party’s over!” He called, walking in. Eileen and Acacia went to assist him. James began to follow when Fury grabbed his shoulder and got close to his ear.

“I don’t know who you are or where you came from.” He whispered to James. “But I’ve got my eye on you.” James pulled away.

“Thanks, I’ll watch my back.” He said angrily, as Fury got into the elevator and left. After a few minutes, Josh had all of his agents back to work. He clapped his hands together.

“Alright, who wants to explore!” He said. “We’ve been demoted to an abandoned subway station! Isn’t this exciting?” Acacia laughed.

“I’m gonna go find a room.” She said. “You know, if all the good ones aren’t already taken.”

“Yeah, I’m about ready to hit the hay.” Eileen said. “James, will you help me pick out a room?”

“Glad to!” He exclaimed, taking her arm as the both walked off. Josh sighed.

“I guess I’ll find a room too.” He said. He looked back. “Home sweet home I guess.” He walked down the tunnel into a large circular area with ten rows of doorways on the walls where train cars would normally go, connected by stairs. There was second one across from it, separated by the train tracks. The sign above the first area was labeled ‘Nests’ and the second was ‘Conference and Recreation’. He kept walking and ended up in a concourse labeled ‘Feeding Pen’. Across the tracks were two staircases. Josh jogged up one and looked to see a room labeled ‘Humpty Dumpty Hall’. He went down and up the other staircase to a blast door.

“What the…” He said as a red beam suddenly shone and began to scan him. “Hey!” He said, jumping back.

“Director Westbrook, confirmed.” Jocasta’s voice said, as the door opened. Josh walked in and looked around. “Please place your hand on the pad and enter secure E.G.G password.” Jocasta said, as a scan pad emerged from the wall. Josh shrugged and placed his hand on it, then entered ‘apple pie’ in the key pad. A second blast door opened to reveal a third.

“What the shell is back here?” He asked, as a card reader emerged from the wall.

“Please scan E.G.G Identification Card.” Jocasta said. Josh swiped his card. The blast door beeped and opened. “Welcome.” Jocasta said, as Josh walked into a room filled with all of E.G.G’s inventions, and a label that read ‘Hall of E.G.G’.

“Oh,” Josh said. “See, now all the security makes sense.” He walked out and back to the Nests. He walked up the flight of stairs and scanned the diameter of each level to find every room with a nametag on the door. He kept looking when he saw the name ‘Whitcomb, Allyson’. He paused for a second, he lifted his fist to knock, then kept going. He finally reached the top floor and began to walk down the line. He passed a door with ‘Blanco, Acacia’, he passed ‘Collins, James,’, and he passed ‘Wuthrich, Eileen’. He got to the last possible door to see no name on it. He frowned and opened it to find a fully furnished room just like back at E.G.G Base. He began to enter, then stopped, walked back to James’s room, and knocked his nametag to the ground. He smiled, walked in his room, and closed the door.

* * *

Rice exited the elevator to the roof of the building he had told Squirrel Girl to wait for him on. He popped an umbrella and began to scan the roof. Then he spotted Squirrel Girl curled up under a water tower, protecting herself from the rain. He approached and looked under to see her sniffling and wiping away tears.

“Hey,” He said. She looked at him.

“Hey.” She quietly replied. “I thought you weren’t gonna come back.” Rice shook his head and held out his hand.

“No way. Now come on, we got cool spy stuff to do. Partner.” Squirrel Girl sniffled, then smiled. She took Rice’s hand and he pulled her up and under the umbrella. They walked into the elevator, and on to their mission.

See you Thursday!

Alright, make sure you tune in next week Thursday, August 6, and catch the Q&A for this episode! Then come back the next day, August 7, for E.G.G Episode 43: Sandblasted! And might I say, Season 3 so far is a blast!

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