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E.G.G Episode 43: Sandblasted

Updated on August 7, 2015


Previously, on E.G.G...

Nick Fury returns and decides it's time for E.G.G to move to New York City! The gang, along with their newest member (much to Josh's disdain, yet of his own doing) James, packs up and ships out. While Josh sadly attempts to find his new base, Agent Rice vehemently attempts to ditch his new partner, Squirrel Girl! After a long, unproductive day, E.G.G finally finds their new base underneath Grand Central Station, and Agent Rice accepts that he's going to be stuck with Squirrel Girl for a while.

Click here to read E.G.G Episode 42: Cleaning House

Click here for Episode 42 Q&A

Episode 43


“Beach Day!” Josh screamed, rushing out onto the shore of Manhattan Beach. “Finally, after so much hard work, it’s nice to get a break! Come on slow pokes!” Josh called back to everyone else in the E.G.G Jeep.

“We’re coming!” Harry called, as he helped Acacia out. James jumped out with Eileen riding on his back.

“Next stop, paradise!” He said.

“Hooray!” Eileen exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. Josh ran through the sand. He spotted a guy about to lay his towel down.

“My spot!” He shouted, pushing the guy into the sand and laying down his towel.

“Jerk!” The guy replied, getting up and storming off. Josh took a deep breath.

“Ah, ocean air!” He said. James rushed up and put Eileen down.

“Thank you James.” She said. James smiled.

“No problem.” He replied. Eileen and Acacia grabbed their beach bags.

“We’re gonna go change.” Acacia said. Harry paused.

“This is a clothing optional beach, right?” He asked. Josh looked at him in disgust.

“No!” He exclaimed. Harry cleared his throat.

“Excuse me.” He said, grabbing his wallet and rushing towards land. James grabbed his bag and looked at Josh.

“You comin?” He asked.

“What, are you a girl now,” Josh said. “Need me to come change with you? Maybe paint your nails later.” James sighed.

“It was just a question.”

“Whatever. Besides, real men keep their bathing suits under their clothes!” Josh ripped his pants off to reveal a blue speedo.

“That’s not a very pleasant sighed.” James said. “And were those tear away pants?”

“Don’t be jealous.” Josh said, bending over and stretching. He looked to a group of girls. “Ladies.” They promptly stood up and walked away. “They dig me.” Eileen and Acacia soon emerged wearing purple and periwinkle bikinis. James whistled.

“You look great girls.” He said. “Especially you Eileen.” Eileen blushed.

“Oh stop,” she giggled.

“You know who’d look hot in a bikini?” Josh said, putting his hands on his hips and bending left and right. “Lightstream. I can totally see her now.”

“Literally.” Eileen whispered under her breath.

“What the shell are you doing?” Acacia asked.

“The ladies like a guy that’s flexible.” He said, touching his toes. Acacia rolled her eyes.

“I’m hitting the water.” She said.

“Wait up!” Harry shouted, running over holding up his swimming trunks.

“Those look too big hon.” Acacia observed.

“They were the only size that they had.” Harry said sadly. Acacia laughed.

“Come on.” She said as they ran into the water. Eileen jumped onto James’s back.

“Onwards!” She shouted as James ran for the water. Josh was about to run in when he stopped. He saw Acacia splashing at Harry. He saw Eileen and James swimming around each other. He sighed, then sat on his towel.

“Odd man out.” He said to himself.

“Tell me about it.” A girl said, sitting next to him. Josh cleared his throat.

“Um, hey.” He said.

“Hey,” She said, pulling sun screen out of her bag. “Sucks doesn’t it? All your buddies having fun in sun, and you’re on the sidelines, asking yourself ‘where did I go wrong?’. Me, I’ve been through the same song and dance plenty of times. Eventually, you realize that friends come and go, and you gotta live for you. Soak up the sun and enjoy the moment.” She looked at Josh, who was just staring at her. She held out her hand. “Maya.” Josh snapped out of his trance.

“Josh.” He said, shaking her hand. “Nice, uh, sentiments.” Maya shrugged.

“You know, I’ve been through stuff.” She said. “Learned things. Got a soft spot for people that get left behind.”

“Thanks.” Josh said. “I would have someone, but, that recently ended.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Josh said. She smiled.

“So, I saw your stretches.” Josh looked up.

“You did?”

“Yeah, they were… interesting.” She said, laughing.

“Aha, I knew they worked!” He said. “I read in a book that girls like flexible guys.”

“Really? What was that book called?”

“Getting a girl for dummies.” Maya laughed.

“Well, I guess it’s somewhat accurate.” Suddenly the sand shifted underneath Josh and Maya. She looked at him in confusion. “Did you feel that?”

“Yeah…” Josh said. Suddenly it shifted again. They both quickly stood up. “Okay, now that was weird.” People all across the beach began to stand out of fright and confusion.

“What do think’s going on?” Maya asked.

“Nothing good, I’m sure of that.” Josh replied. Suddenly sand pillars began to explode out of the ground. People screamed and began to run.

“Holy crap!” Maya shouted. Josh grabbed her shoulder.

“Go!” He shouted, pushing her ahead of him. “I’m right behind you!” The two began to run as sand continued to shoot out of the ground.

“Time to hit the beach!”
“Time to hit the beach!”

* * *

A short distance away, Rice lowered his binoculars.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He said. Squirrel Girl rushed past him in a bathing suit.

“Time to hit the beach!” She exclaimed, only for Rice to grab her tail and pull her back. “Ow! I hate it when you do that!”

“Look!” He said, pointing to the rising sand pillars. Squirrel Girl slumped.

“So no beach?” She said sadly.

“Oh we’re going to the beach.” Rice said. “Just not for rest and relaxation.” He folded up his binoculars. “Come on.”

* * *

In the water, everyone panicked and began swimming away as the sand began to swirl in a tornado like fashion. James looked around frantically.

“Eileen?” He called. “Eileen? Where are you?” Eileen had in fact made her way to shore, and grabbed her beach bag, containing her Lightstream costume inside. Acacia and Harry pulled themselves to shore, only to cover their eyes in the sandstorm.

“Find safety sweetie.” Acacia called over the wind. She looked down. “And some pants.” She rushed into the storm. Harry looked down.

“Ah geez,” He said, covering his personals and running for the hills.

* * *

Josh, meanwhile had led Maya safely to the parking lot. He looked back at the giant sandstorm.

“This isn’t natural.” He said. “Maya, go.” He was about to head back when she quickly grabbed his arm.

“Well what are you gonna do?” She asked.

“I gotta get my bag.”

“You’re going back in there for a stupid bag?” Josh smiled.

“I love my bag.” He ran back into the storm.

“Josh!” Maya called. She looked around nervously, then ran back in after him.

* * *

Rice and Squirrel Girl jumped into the sandstorm, only to be lifted into the air by the hard blowing winds.

“Whoa!” Squirrel Girl screamed as she swirled around.

“This is insane!” Rice shouted. He grabbed onto a palm tree leaf and caught Squirrel Girl by the tail.

“Ow! Seriously?” She screamed.

“Sorry, it’s the easiest thing to grab.” He called back. “Now, we need to get Josh his bag. He packed a Repulsor Blaster, it could help with this whole fiasco if I’m right about what’s going on.”

“That’s it right?” She asked, pointing to Josh’s bag hanging on the edge of a beachside shack.

“Yeah,” Rice said. “Oh boy, okay, take my hand!” Squirrel Girl reached and took Rice’s hand. “Good. Get ready to grab the bag!” Squirrel Girl nodded. Rice let go of the tree and they were swept into the storm. They soared past the bag, and Squirrel Girl swiped at it, knocking it free, but failing to grab it.

“I missed!” She shouted.

“It’s okay, we’re circling around, try again.” Rice turned his body in the storm and guided Squirrel Girl with him.

“Look out!” She shouted as an umbrella was thrown at them. Rice let Squirrel Girl go and it flew between them. “Aaaaahhhhh!” She screamed as she was swept away. Rice spun and launched himself forward. He reached out.

“Grab my hand!” He called.

“Wait, I can get the bag!” She shouted back. She reached out her tail and caught the bag by the handles, firmly securing it. Then she grabbed Rice’s hand. “Okay, go!” She shouted, as Rice flew off to find Josh.

* * *

Acacia was struggling through the storm as everything was getting ripped out of the ground around her.

“Ah shell, where’s my gear when I need iiiiiiiiitttttttt!” She screamed as she was swooped up. Josh flew by and caught her by the arm, grabbing onto a ‘Rules of the Beach’ sign.

“I need by bag!” He shouted.

“What? Why?” Acacia asked.

“Look into the center of the storm!” Acacia squinted her eyes to see a man in a green and black striped T-shirt with brown pants standing in the middle of the sandstorm, holding his arms into the air, like he was conducting it.

“Sandman.” Acacia replied.

“I packed a Repulsor Blaster in my bag!” Josh shouted. She looked at him. “Don’t ask. Anyways, if we can fine tune the frequency, we can scramble his atoms!”

“Temporarily!” Acacia replied.

“You got a better plan?”

“Get that blaster and I’ll show you!”

“Yeah, thing is, there’s a million to one chance of finding it in this mess!”


* * *

Meanwhile, on the shoreline, James was helping people out of the water.

“Go, head for shelter!” He ordered, ushering them in the safest direction. “Keep your heads down and stay low!” He looked to see the ocean cleared. “Eileen, where are you?” He turned and pushed his way through the wind, and in seconds, he found himself face to face with Sandman.

“Ah!” he shouted, jumping back. Sandman looked at him. “Are you doing this?”

“Yeah.” He replied. James nodded.

“I thought so.” He punched Sandman only for his fist to get stuck in his cheek, as Sandman’s entire body was made of sand. “Oh shock.” He said. Suddenly the sand under his feet began shifting and he started to sink. “No, no!” He began to struggle, but kept sinking.

“Sucker.” Sandman said.

“HELP!” James called. Just then Lightstream flew up to the storm. She looked down.

“That sounded like James!” She said. She flew in at top speed. She dodged various debris and beach chairs. Suddenly she saw Harry fly past her, screaming. “Ah crap!” She said, turning around. She reached out and grabbed him.

“Ah! What the- What’s going on!” He screamed.

“Calm down, you’re fine.” She said. She looked back at him. “Aw, dude, cover your junk, seriously!”

“Sorry!” Harry replied. Lightstream dropped him in the parking and flew back into the storm. She flew as fast as she could into the center.

“Hey Sandman!” She called. Sandman turned as Lightstream’s fist lit up and she punched him. He suddenly blew into a cloud of sand. “What the-” She said as he reformed behind her.

“Hahaha!” He laughed, morphing his arm into a giant sand hammer and knocking Lightstream to the ground.

“Ow!” She looked up angrily. “You son of a shellhead…” Just then she looked to see James’s arm sticking out of the sand, grasping for anything. “James!” She grabbed his hand as Sandman turned his arm into a sand blade and slashed at her. She took of just in the nick of time, pulling James out of the sand. She hugged him close.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” She said.

“Thanks,” James replied, gasping for breath. He looked at her. “Lightstream right?” She nodded. “Wow, Westbrook was right. You are pretty hot.” Lightstream blushed.

“You think I’m hot?” She asked, smiling.

“Yeah, well… look out!” He shouted. She looked to see the roof of a shack heading at them.

“Ah!” She screamed, spinning out of the way and out of the storm. She landed on a roof and dropped James off. “Stay here, okay.”

“No problem.” James replied she flew back into the storm.

E.G.G Director Profile: Sandman

* * *

Rice was flying around inside, when he spotted Josh.

“Squirrel Girl!” He shouted, pointing to him.

“Right!” She replied. Her tail wound up, then she hurled the bag at Josh.

“We gotta start looking!” Acacia called. “It has to be around here some…” Just then the bag slammed into her chest. “Where… I got it!”

“Excellent!” Josh replied. “Give it to me!”

“No! Let me work with it real quick!” She let go of Josh and flew out of the storm.

“What the, Acacia!”

“Josh!” He looked to see Maya being thrown around the wind.

“What the- Ah man!” He let go of the sign and flew towards Maya. He grabbed onto her. “What are you doing back in here?” He asked.

“I just met you! I didn’t want you to die!” She replied.

“But, you barely know me!”

“Yeah, well, stupid me I guess!”

“No, not stupid. Freaking awesome! Just hang on!” Suddenly Lightstream flew past them and into the center, confronting Sandman.

“We have unfinished business!” She said.

“I’ll sandblast you into next week!” He shouted, shooting a stream of sand at her. Lightstream formed an energy shield and began blocking it. Suddenly a sand fist came out of the ground behind her and punched her in the back.

“Ah!” She shouted, falling to her knees. Sandman turned one fist into a spiked ball and another into a hammer.

“Time for the Sandman to put you to sleep.” He growled. “Permanently!”

“Not on my watch!” He turned to see Acacia fly out of the storm with a tripped out Repulsor Blaster. “Good night mister Sandman!” She said, pulling the trigger. The new weapon launched a blue energy ball into Sandman. Suddenly began to light up.

“What’d you do to me!” He shouted. He lit up brighter and brighter. “No… no… NO!!!!!!” He screamed as he exploded. The storm came to a sudden stop. The pillars of sand collapsed. Acacia lowered the gun and smiled.

“Booyah.” She said. Josh and Maya fell into the sand. She looked up at him.

“You saved me.” She said.

“Saved is kind of a strong word.” Josh replied. “I think I just prevented you from dying.” She laughed.

“Regardless.” She said, kissing him on the cheek. Josh smiled.

“Ha, well, you know, it was no problem.” Maya walked over to the shack and grabbed a sign-up sheet for a sand castle building contest. She flipped it around and wrote her phone number on the back.

“Here,” She said. Josh took it happily.

“You want me to call you?”

“No, I just gave you my number so you can stare at it.”

“Right, stupid question.” He said. He looked down. “Uh, I don’t have any pockets…”

“Just stick it down your speedo.” Maya replied, walking off. Josh looked both ways, then reluctantly stuck Maya’s phone number into his speedo.

“Josh!” Acacia called as she and Lightstream approached.

“Hey, Lightstream!” Josh exclaimed. “Fury told me you were here.”

“Yep.” She said.

“Why don’t you garb a bikini and we can chill by the water?”

“Uh, yeah, no.” She flew off.

“Tch, whatever!” Josh called. He looked at the weapon Acacia was holding. “So what happened to Sandman?”

“I blasted him into millions of teeny tiny individual sand particles.” She said. “And then they scattered across the country. We shouldn’t see him for a while.”

“Sweet!” Josh said.

“I know right! I’m calling it the Sandblaster!” Josh frowned.

“Shouldn’t it be called the De-atomizer?”

“I like Sandblaster.”

“Now wait a minute, since when do you get to name weapons?”

“Uh, I made it!”

“With my Repulsor Blaster!” Suddenly Eileen pulled up in the E.G.G Jeep.

“Hey guys,” She said. “Can we go home now?”

“And where have you been!” Josh shouted.

“I was getting the jeep.” Josh just stared.

“Sure, whatever, let’s go.” He and Acacia got in and the three drove off.

* * *

Across the beach Rice sat up, covered in sand. He looked to see Squirrel Girl’s tail sticking out.

“I know you hate this but…” He grabbed her tail and yanked her out of the sand.

“Ouch!” She screamed. “That hurt! But thanks.”

“No problem.” Rice said, dusting himself off.

“Well, so much for a beach day right?”

“Eh, wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that’s happened to me on a beach.”

“What’s weirder that what happened today?”

“Oh man, it was in my early S.H.I.E.L.D days, me and my partner Agent Candelaria were out on an assignment…” They walked off as the sun set, everyone relieved that the day at the beach was finally over.

See you Thursday!

Alright, make sure you tune in next week Thursday, August 13, and catch the Q&A for this episode! Then come back the next day, August 14, for E.G.G Episode 44: Scramble! Things are about to get real.

What would you do if Sandman crashed your beach day?

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