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Eggbert Eggplant Commutes

Updated on February 20, 2011
Eggbert Eggplant Commutes
Eggbert Eggplant Commutes | Source

Here stands Eggbert Eggplant, a fine eggzemplar of the commuting business class.

A graduate of Eggzeter, humble metro-riding Eggbert is now Chief Eggzecutive Officer of Eggstaordinary Implements, the nation’s largest producer of fine egg-cups, egg-beaters, and other eggsclusive kitchen eggsessories. E.I.’s eggshaustive product research and eggzacting design standards insure that their products command eggzorbitant prices at only the most eggsclusive boutiques around the globe.

However, there may also be simpler eggsplanations for those prices. IRS auditors are now poring over E.I.’s books, with every eggspectation that they will eggspose the company for being far too eggzuberant in claiming eggzemptions for various business eggspenses. Rumors swirl of company eggzecutives eggzerting undue influence on regulators, eggspatriating funds to foreign accounts, eggspunging company records, eggstorting vendors, eggspropriating money from retirement funds, and other such eggstreme and illegal practices.

Eggbert is hoping that once eggsplicit facts are known, he and his company will be eggzonerated (or will at least be able to use the eggscuse of eggstenuating circumstances to obtain the necessary IRS eggstensions, pay some fines, and perhaps avoid jail entirely). 

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    • rickzimmerman profile image
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      rickzimmerman 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      What a great compliment, poetvix, thank you!

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 6 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      You know, since finding your hubs I don't even bother with the cartoons in the morning paper any more. Yours are way better! Thanks.