Electronic Mind Control: are you wearing your tin-foil hat?

Deep in your sentient brain, beyond your Pineal Gland, underneath your dandruff-laden scalp, resides some desirable real estate. Governments and marketing companies vie for control. Highly skilled electrical engineers contrive cutting-edge contrivances intended to usurp you.

Watch out. Electronic Mind Control sneaks up on us like something that is really sneaky. You'll never see it coming because it's, like, electronic and you can't see electrons. We know they're there because NetFlix still works. Beyond that, it's an ambush of digital and analog proportions.

I'm here, gentle reader, to help you help yourself. You might think you know how to help yourself: I've seen you at the Sizzlers salad bar. It's not that kind of help. This kind of help involves deep and wide conspiracies aimed at directing your thoughts. Certainly you have trouble directing your thoughts even though they belong to you, but there are folks out there with a better idea of what your thoughts should be thinking.

You and your masses are being hypnotized. Surprisingly, only a very few companies own most of the media outlets in this great nation we call home. When you flip on the television you get precisely what those few companies want to give you. You can flip through all the channels you want -- your choices are limited to, like, 200 channels at any given time. You might think that The Rich have it better than you but in stark reality those people only have an advantage when it comes to having someone to work the remote control for them. Beyond that it's only The Super Rich who get special channels intended only for The Super Rich. The Super-Duper Uber Rich get some amazing channels with no reruns at all.

You probably thought that million-dollar TV shows were produced by high school kids in school gyms after math class. That's not true at all. It is true, in fact, that a small handful, we're talking a baby hand here, of mega-national conglomerates control the airwaves streaming into your eyeballs. We could name those companies very easily and if you're not careful we will indeed do that. We're not afraid of those names but they are Electronically Controlling your minds.

Back in Europe before it was Europe there lived Socrates. He invented the question mark or observed an apple falling from a tree create gravity or something like that. Anyway, he was famous for being famous. People came from far and wide to watch him act famously.

I once owned a cat named Socrates. You can bank on that.

Some people say that Socrates, the human, not my former cat, once italic-ally said: "Make a man think and he will love you, make a man think really hard and he will hate you." Without question I think he said a lot of things and that sounds like something he would have said when he was not talking about cats.

Socrates probably did talk about cats but no one in their correct mind thinks for one moment that Electronic Mind Control has any interest in cats. You should look after your gerbils, however.

The CIA and the NSA and the FBI and also KFC are listening to your phone calls. They sit very still with little mainframe computers, capturing your every word. When you order extra cheese on your pizza, they know about it. Highly trained operatives get together in darkened rooms solely bent on figuring out why you didn't use a coupon.

All the data on your computer is stored in the cloud these days. Do you know where the cloud is? People Electronically Controlling your mind certainly do. Don't look up: that's cheating. Your data is not in those clouds. All your phone numbers, text messages, selfies, and Instagrams reside in cloud databases. A database is what I wrote my Master's Thesis on: you can trust me when I use the word database.

In conclusion I conclude that your mind is at risk via Electronic Mind Control. I'm here to help, but I can't do everything for you. Take appropriate action to get yourself protected before it's too late and we all can't find you any more.