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Flight For Freedom - Continuation of Monsters in the Trees

Updated on April 21, 2017

She was frozen in place and she couldn’t comprehend any of it. She then heard a whistling sound coming from the left side of her. Her neck, although feeling like a tree bark, was moving slowly toward the sound. Her arms started swaying like tree branches in the wind. Her legs started feeling the blood flowing and suddenly she was able to move.

RUN! Her mind shouted in rapid successions.

So she did.

— Frank Atanacio “Monster-in-the-trees”

The Challenge

I have take on the challenge from Frank Atanacio to write a continuation or a final ending to his interesting creative hub "Monsters in the Trees."

Here you go Frank!

The Grapes of Wrath, the muscadine grapes to make muscadine wine.
The Grapes of Wrath, the muscadine grapes to make muscadine wine. | Source

Flight for freedom

As weary as she was, Jenny still ran with the grace of a gazelle, as the skinny fingers of the monsters in the trees reached out to slap her across the face and the tendrils of the muscadine vines reached/coiled like snares to trip her with every step, the bramble bushes scratched her arms and legs and ripped at her thin dress and one angry bush ripped off a big piece.

Jenny kept on running until one vine’s tendril snared her ankle and she could see the ground coming towards her face and closed her eyes and she was engulfed by darkness and felt herself losing consciousness.

The Hunt

September, the beginning of hunting season, and Steven did not know what he wanted to do first. He had his new hunting rifle and two sacks one for his prey, and the other because he had a taste for some muscadine wine. Craig, although not really a friend was someone who could keep him company, and his only thought was focused on the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of the kill.

Reaching for a bunch of muscadine grapes, from the corner of his eye Steven caught a glimpse of a piece of cloth. He made his way through the bramble bushes he picked a few blackberries dropping them into the sack with the grapes he had gathered. He lifted the piece of cloth off the bush, and rubbed it between his thumb and fingers like a psychic trying to read the cloth’s history. It was smooth like silk and yet it had a firmer texture, not quite as flimsy or delicate. He tucked the piece of cloth halfway into the breast pocket of his hunting vest and moved on to more muscadine vines.

Steven reached an area thick with bramble bushes and he could see tiny bits of cloth here and there and decided to follow the bits and pieces. At the edge of the bushes from a tree hung more muscadine vines and one tendril was wrapped around an ankle of a young woman as if it had grabbed her and jerked her feet from underneath her. He rolled her over and felt for a pulse.

Saved, or was she?

Hey! Save some for me, Craig said, or have you killed her instead and put his hand on Steven’s shoulder as if to pull him away. Stop, you pervert, I just found her, and this is no time for joking around. Help me get her to my cabin and we can call the police so they can find out who she is and why she was running in the woods and what she was running from.

Hell No! I will help you get her to your cabin but that’s it. No cops, I’m not getting blamed for something like this again. Steven let Craig’s comment pass. Okay, just help me get her to my cabin and you can be on your way.

Craig helped toss the woman over Steven’s shoulder like a gunny sack.

At the cabin where Steven lived alone after the death of his wife and son in an automobile accident. He placed Jenny on his bed, while Craig stormed off into the kitchen, peeved at the days hunt ruined and lack of access to what he wanted to do to Jenny.

The awakining

Jenny felt her dress being removed, she kept her eyes closed and resigned herself to the inevitable.

Petrified Jenny was helpless to move, as she felt the warm soft cloth tending to her cut and scratches. No one had ever been so tender and caring washing away her pain, not even her parents before they sold her to that evil man, who only wanted an object to carry out his sexual fantasies on, someone to who he could his unleash his hatred and rage on. With those thoughts still in her head, she drifted into the darkness of blissfully dreamless sleep.

Startled awake by the sound of an argument between two men, Jenny lay there trying to discern the voices, but did not recognize either one. At least it was not the voice of the evil one she was running from.

She heard one of the men said: “we found her; we can do anything we want to with her!”

“NO!” The other man replied: “I found her and she is not a stray dog or cat she is a human being and someone must have terrified her pretty bad to caused her to run through a thicket of bramble bushes, and she doesn’t belongs to someone who finds her and you better not lay a hand on her or you will answer to me!” besides she probably has a concussion from the looks of the bump on her head.

The visitor

Bang! The shot rang out. Jenny though that one of the men shot the other. But, the shot was outside the cabin, then she froze in terror when she heard the evil man say: “Hey you, in the cabin!

Steven thought, I’d be justified in shooting him, but thought better of it. He knew why this man was there, it couldn’t be a coincidence and opened the door a crack and yelled what do you want? I am looking for my woman the evil man yelled, thought she might have come this way, you seen a woman around here. You’ve come to the wrong place Steven yelled back.

I tracked her here and I aim to take her home the psycho yelled back and slowly began to raise his gun. Place your gun on the ground and back away or I’ll shoot you where you stand Steven demanded, you are trespassing. The evil man laid his gun down on the ground and Steven stepped outside and stood several feet away.

I don’t know your woman Steven said. You liar! The psycho said, glaring at Steven pointing at Steven’s jacket, that’s a piece of her dress. Oh, that is just a piece of cloth I found hanging on a bramble bush when I was hunting.

Flight for freedom

Jenny, slipped out of bed, made her way to the window and parted the curtains slightly to get a glimpse of what was going on outside, she was careful to stay out of the dim light coming from an adjacent room. Questions swirled in her head, how long had she been asleep? Was it dusk or dawn? Who bathed and dressed her? She was now wearing a shirt over her underwear, her shredded dress lay in a heap between the bed and her shoes.

Jenny tried to focus on the two men outside in the glow of dusk or dawn. She recognized the psycho but not the other man. Without warning a hand clasp over her mouth and a man whispered in her ear: don’t make a sound. Is he looking for you? Jenny nodded. You make a sound and he will know you’re here. We’ll let your old man take care of Steven or Steven take care of him then I’ll take care of the one left standing then you and me can have some fun.

The psycho had seen movement at the window and accused Steven of hiding Jenny.

Steven, replied I'm not alone, my hunting companion is inside and called Craig to come outside. You gonna be quiet? Craig whispered and again Jenny nodded.

As soon as Craig stepped out the front door Jenny ran to the adjacent room, grabbing her shoes on the way, from the nightlight she could see that it belonged to a boy from the décor of the room. She ran to the closet and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and slipped them on, then ran into the kitchen and grabbed some items for protection and a backpack hanging on a chair that was filled with food packed for a day of hunting that the men had not eaten. Jenny grabbed a cornpone from a plate on the table putting it into a paper bag from the hutch by the back door.

RUN! Her mind shouted in rapid successions.

And Jenny ran!

You don't own me!

The Deputies

The psycho had not heard the squad-car stop fifteen yards behind him and the two deputies approached. Morning Devin! Steven said. Steven Langford and Devin Oliver had been friends since grammar school and Devin became a deputy sheriff and Steven owned the one and only auto repair shop in town. Morning Steven, what’s going on? Devin asked. This man thinks I am hiding his woman in my cabin.

I am here looking for a young woman myself, Devin said, names Jenny Camacho, we have her momma and daddy locked up, they came in to the office with a strange tale to tell, they told the sheriff they sold their seventeen year old daughter to a man named Clifford and don’t know his last name and they changed their mind about the sale.

The psycho inches backwards and bumps into Deputy Lester, who promptly cuffs him. Well, well, I think we just met Clifford, lock him in the car, looks like he lost the girl.

Craig, who was trying to stay out of sight of the two deputies, was trying to ease his way back into the cabin. Hold it right there! Who are you? Deputy Devin said. This here is Craig Caldwell Steven answered for him. Craig Caldwell? We just arrested him on stalking charges, had to let him go for lack of evidence.

Steven remembered the comment from Craig he had let pass two days ago when he found Jenny and now he understood why Craig kept hanging around.

Do you mind if I come inside Steven? As Deputy Devin asked as he took the rifle out of Craig’s hands and ejected the bullets handing it back to him.

The three men went into Steven’s cabin. Steven went in first and he could see into the bedroom and the bed was empty, Craig followed then Deputy Devin.

Did Deputy Devin see the crumple dress by the bed?


You are Challenged to continue or write an end to the story of Jenny Camacho’s flight for freedom.

Do you think you can accept this challenge?

See results

© 2016 Shyron E Shenko


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    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 22 months ago from Oklahoma

      Interesting perspective.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 22 months ago from Texas

      Au fait, thank you for the comment, compliment and for sharing.

      It was good to talk to you also. I hope all is well with you.

      Blessings and hugs dear friend

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 22 months ago from North Texas

      Very intense! Well done as always. Sharing this.

      Hope all is well there. Blessing to you dear friend. Good to talk with you las' night. Take care . . .

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Dear Theresa, I hope that you will jump back in on this one and we can get this going again. I have to go and read yours from two years ago. I will go right now to find yours.

      Blessings and Hugs dear friend

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Frank, thank you so much for the compliment.... I know that you can do it! This is really fun for me, I hope a lot of people will jump in on the and write an ending to your story.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Devika, thank you so much for the comment. Reading Frank's "Monsters in the Trees" is a must.

      Blessings and you have a good day also.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Dana, thank you for the comment and compliment. I loved Frank's "Monsters in the Trees" and he left it so open ended one could go in several directions. I need to read the others that took the challenge.

      Blessings and Hugs my friend

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 23 months ago from southern USA

      Oh, I love your heart-racing ending, Shyron. I entered back a couple years ago, I think, was when Frank initially issued the challenge. I was quite fun for me as I don't usually write fiction and dark fiction at that. I was delighted mine was well-received.

      Maybe you will get this one going again for those who did not take the challenge back then!

      I just checked, and it was two years ago. I placed mine on the spotlight of hubs on my profile.


    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Flo, thanks for the comment. Terrifying for Jenny (lol), do you want to write her a way home.

      Blessings and Hugs

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton

      I would love to try... you really took charge of the continuation so I'll have to get back to the drawing board..LOL great job

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Frank! Thank you for the compliment, I couldn't have written this without your lead into it, thank you for that also.

      Maybe you could write a continuation to my continuation. I thought maybe Steven will be blamed for Jenny's disappearance.

      Blessing my friend.... */;-)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Bill, thank you for the comment and compliment, I do appreciate you, and thank you for the Easter wishes.

      Blessing to you and yours my friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Cindy, thank you for comment and compliment. I sent you regards to Frank and I see he has commented on this piece.

      Blessings to you Cindy.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 23 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      A great challenge! Thank you for sharing this hub. I haven't read the the title that Frank wrote. I was drawn here. Have a good day.

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 23 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      I never got the chance to read "Monsters in the Trees" By Frank. So, when I realized your story was a continuation I read Frank's story first, and then read yours. I just wanted to give you my compliments, I think you did a job fantastic job continuing Frank's story. I'm anxious to see if anyone else will rise up to this challenge.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 23 months ago from USA

      You've done a terrifying job! Such evil!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton

      waking up this morning I was surprised to see this entry.. I am impressed and so excited to read such a rapid .. shooting gallery .. of an ending.. thank you so much for writing your ending/slash..flash it was fantastic....:)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Irby, you are welcome and thank you for reading and commenting, I really appreciate you.


    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Ruby my gem of a friend, thank you for the compliment and comment.

      You can write a sequel

      I know you can

      You have the knowledge and words at your command



      Blessings and Hugs dear friend

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Hari, thank you for the comment.

      You are right, until she turns 18 then she will have to be on the run, then she can find her freedom.


    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 23 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I love these challenges. It gives us all a chance to practice our creativity and see the remarkable creativity in our peers....and I just saw it in this riveting continuation of Frank's story. Great work, Shyron!

      A late Happy Easter to you and yours.


    • profile image

      Cindy James 23 months ago

      I am an avid reader of this flash fiction, and I too read that Monsters in the Trees short story. Then I read so many different endings. but this one was so entertaining I had to comment. Thanks for the read, give my regards to Frank

    • profile image

      Irby Terrell 23 months ago

      I found this to be an amazing continuation to that monsters piece I read last year? two years? I don't know. but thanks for bringing it back Irby

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 23 months ago from Southern Illinois

      When did Frank write this? I don't remember reading it. Shyron your addition is exciting, a lot going on. I will read Frank's story and see if I can come up with something. Great write!!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Thank you Hari, for you comment. Yes you are right the freedom must come from the parents, but she does not know that they had a change of heart.


    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 23 months ago from Bangalore

      Very interesting and engrossing story.

      The freedom for her must come from her parents who sold her. Till then the run is inevitable.

      - hari