ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Forward That Southern Humor

Updated on August 19, 2012

Everybody loves a good joke and there’s plenty to be found on the internet. When someone runs across a few good ones that illicit a good laugh, they naturally want to share them with friends, family and E Mail pen pals. So, they get forwarded to everyone in their address book. Here are a few recently sent to me under the category of Southern Humor:

  • A Florida senior citizen drove his new high powered sports car off the sales lot. Taking off down the road, he decided to test it out. As the speedometer needle rapidly climbed to 80 mph, the old man was impressed. “Amazing," he thought as he floored it and watched as the needle quickly rose to 120 mph. An alert Florida State Trooper pulled in behind him and hit his blue lights and siren. Realizing it was all over except for the screaming and hollering, he pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. The trooper walked up to the Corvette looking at his watch, and then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a new reason for speeding I've never heard before, I'll let you off with a warning.” The old man thought a second and replied "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.” "Have a good day, sir," the trooper said, turning back towards his cruiser.
  • A Sheriff pulled up next to a man who was unloading garbage out of his pick-up into a ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage here, don't you see that sign?" "Yes sir,” he replied. "That's why I'm dumping it here.” The sign read “Fine for Dumping Garbage."
  • A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
  • A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait for assistance. A passing motorist’s curiosity was aroused as he studied the scene and he decided to find out what was going on. The motorist turned around and went back. He asked the man what the problem was. The man replied, "I got a flat tahr." “I can see that,” the motorist said, "But what's with the flowers?" “Well,” the man explained, "The driver’s handbook says when you break down you’re supposed to put flares in the front and back of your vehicle. I never understood it neither."
  • "How to Install a Southern Home Security System”

1. Buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo and four giant dog dishes.

3. Pin this note on the door:

Billy Bob,

Me, Virgil, T-Bone, and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and a gallon of sweet tea. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Rosie2010 profile image

      Rosie Rose 

      6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      Hi JY, thanks for laugh this Sunday morning. Well, it's really afternoon already but I just got up. I love good jokes and these ones are hilarious. Voted up and shared. Cheers!

      Have a nice day,


    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      I wasn't too sure how well this one would be accepted, but since YA'LL liked it so much, I will do a few more when I get some more material. My brother has been collecting them for years, so as soon as he puts them on disc for me, I'll make some more hubs for ya. YA'LL come back now, ya hear?

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      They all put a smile on my face!

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      6 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Good 'un, JY! ROTFL! The thing about Southern humor is it isn't all that humorous to the natives, only to those who live (or have lived) "up north". A Kansas-born friend and I were in tears and rolling on the floor laughing reading the first Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be a Red Neck". But the friend whose family lived in a mobile home propped up on blocks with a plastic flamingo, dead washer and two rusted cars in the front yard - and who routinely tore down car engines on the dining room table - didn't find it all funny, and was downright OFFENDED that we did. Wouldn't speak to us for a week. Go figure... ;D

    • mythbuster profile image


      6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      Got me laughin'... voted up and funny. Thanks for sharing. These jokes are the first HP read of the day for me - great content for me to start with as I log in today :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      6 years ago from southern USA

      Ha. You have it down just about right here in this Hub. So very funny. I could add about a thousand real life southern stories to this one too. Ha. Great Hub. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • eHealer profile image


      6 years ago from Las Vegas

      Too funny JY! I like the joke "fine for garbage." Thank you for a great belly laugh, voted funny, laughed again, and voted up!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)