ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Funny Stories About Amusement Park Ferris Wheels

Updated on October 7, 2010

Funny Stories About Amusement Park Ferris Wheels

Funny stories about amusement park Ferris wheels is yet another chapter in my unusually comedic-prone life.

I didn't start out as a person who was height impaired. As a matter of fact, I was famous for my monkey-like prowess in trees and on roof tops.

I was also especially gifted for my ability to shinny up the TV antenna pole at any given moment (even in a dress) and spent many a day reading books atop the roof.

So how was I to know that after an unfortunate accident, I would become completely and utterly height impaired? I should have guessed it would happen to me as I seem to have a knack for getting into scrapes of one sort or another and suffering the consequences down the road. Sit back and let me tell you how it all started......


I Blame The Accordion

Of course I blame the accordion! If it hadn't been for that blasted instrument, probably none of my fears would have emerged. (Of course that seems ridiculous to blame on my fear of snakes but hey, I need some reason for these fears!)

It was a typical San Diego autumn day and after school, I insisted on doing what I did best which was playing outside away from the long arm of my schizophrenic grandmother. Please don't think I'm complaining here or speaking badly of her. She did what she could and she was a real live personality in the making at all times.  However, my capriciousness drove her to insanity and I was an easy mark most days because I don't think I ever had a day where I didn't get into trouble of some sort.

On this particular day, I was swinging away in the branches of a high twisty tree to keep off the radar which unfortunately went awry when she called me into the house because it was time to practice the accordion. I hated the accordion with a passion I cannot begin to convey. I was scrawny and had spaghetti arms. The accordion engulfed me and besides, who needed this kind of punishment? I could have been a weightlifter with all the times I lugged that thing around and did the bellow shakes. But I digress.....

To put it short and sweet, she called and I ignored. I figured she'd think I had gone temporarily deaf. Or maybe she wouldn't notice me in the tree swinging like a monkey. Too bad for me. She may have been schizophrenic but she was far from stupid. With all 200 pounds of solid Danish heritage behind her, she stomped into the front yard, turned on the hose and came at the tree. Thinking I'd get the added benefit of a southern California soaking on an Indian Summer day, I chuckled. I wasn't chuckling for long!

The hose came at me like a fire hose trained on a burning building. I'm not sure if she had a special nozzle or if that was a custom issue from the local hardware but I gotta tell you I wasn't laughing for long! I was blasted with mega-force water and before I could say 'okay I'll practice' or even scream out a word, I was losing my grip some 40 feet or so up and I was falling. The limbs had become too slippery for me to maintain my purchase and I was tumbling backwards at an alarming rate.

I heard snap and pop - no crackle - although it might have been a crack and there I was lying face up on the ground with my left arm pulled back and up behind me. No doubt about it, Sherlock, your arm isn't what it used to be. Definitely broken and I definitely got out of playing the accordion for a while. But was it worth it I asked myself?


Moving on to Height Impaired

So that little escapade taught me a few things. First off, don't mess with a woman with a hose, especially one who is schizophrenic. Secondly, rethink that height thing because guess what folks - it's not too cool when you fall from a distance. You really don't bounce all that well.

I thought I had a pretty good handle on it though and I continued to shinny up the pole and sometimes hung out on the roof after that. It did take a little bit off the shine though and I began to realize that I was developing a 'bit' of a fear about heights.

Enter the amusement park episode. My mom decided one weekend that we would go for a visit to see my aunt who lived in Long Beach. I was so excited I could barely contain myself because I knew that just blocks from her house was the famous Long Beach Pier with all its rides and the wonderful amusement park! I was beside myself as my mom, my grandmother and my sister piled into the car and drove up for the weekend. Oh I was gonna have some fun! My arm had been healed for a few months and I was beginning to feel my oats again.

I hasten to add one little valuable point here before I tell the tale of my first Ferris wheel blooper. We were going to see my aunt because she had just been released from a mental institution. This becomes a very salient point later in the story so keep this in mind. It wasn't that she was a loony tune or anything. She had suffered from severe depression over some childhood events and had decided that the best way to cope was to kill herself. She almost succeeded but thanks to the 'miracles' of electroshock therapy, she was finally released many years later. Not understanding all the complexities of mental illness at 9 years old, I was just pleased as punch that she was back out and really, really pleased that seeing her would bring me a little fun!

We did lots of things at the amusement park and had a pretty great day overall. As it got on towards late afternoon, my aunt Anne suddenly burst out with 'Hey - I'll bet Audie (the name's Audrey, but oh well) would love to go up the Ferris wheel. How about it?'

Well, everyone said no thanks of course and I was left standing there disappointed thinking I'd not get to go because no one else wanted to go. Fortunately for me, my aunt kept on and finally got the okay from my mom and off we went. However, what I hadn't bargained on was that it was a double Ferris wheel and as my luck would have it that it would not go as planned.

When I realized that it was a double Ferris wheel, I figured it couldn't be all that bad and especially since my aunt was game to go on it, it must be pretty tame. In most circumstances, probably so. Unfortunately, almost every time 'most circumstances' seems never to apply to me. I was a trusting child though and climbed happily into the bucket with my aunt and off we went.

Even though I was a little queasy at first being so high up, I quickly began to embrace the fun of it all and was actually starting to enjoy it. It was really weird being on a double Ferris wheel though as while you were spinning around on your Ferris wheel, there's another Ferris wheel going as well attached to yours and all the while, you're being lifted into the air higher and higher. Eventually, at its highest point, there's one Ferris wheel on the ground and one Ferris wheel on top of that Ferris wheel way high up in the air. I mean WAY high up in the air!

We had gone around a couple of times and I wasn't scared a bit - or at least just a wee bit. I was holding onto the bar with a death grip but hopefully my aunt hadn't noticed. All of a sudden as we neared the very tippy top of the second and highest Ferris wheel, we ground to a stop. We just lurched and that was it. There we were at the highest point on the double Ferris wheel that you could get and we were motionless. Well, except for the swaying, which was becoming increasingly frightening by the second.

My aunt calmly said something like 'Oh probably just letting people off. It'll start right up in a minute.' I looked nervously down from our height of about 5 million feet. I could see my mom, my sister and my grandmother where we had left them but they looked like little ANTS. I started to panic. 'Oh-my-GOD' was what I was thinking even in my child's brain. I looked over at my aunt Anne and she was smiling away at me. I tried to tell myself it was just my imagination but she seemed like she was smiling 'too much'. Is that possible?

Even as a child, I knew the value of staying calm in bad situations. I thought to myself 'Don't worry, everything is going to be just fine' or something along those lines, followed by a huge internal scream. Minutes stretched by and I was becoming more and more nervous. Now I was so petrified that I was afraid to look down for fear of our car snapping off the Ferris wheel and plummeting down to the Long Beach Amusement Park where my mother could find my body in a million pieces!

Sensing my discomfort, my aunt started to needle me. 'You're not scared are you? Why be afraid? Nothing is going to happen. We're safe and sound up here in this little buggy, see?'

And with those famous words, she began swinging the 'buggy' back and forth, back and forth. Oh-My-GOD!!!!! I was seriously torn between barfing on the spot or just starting to scream for all I was worth. I think the word that came to mind most was 'MOMMY' screamed in no uncertain terms that would carry to the heavens. I was mentally praying 'Please stop rocking the cart, please stop rocking the cart'. If it was possible, my death grip had increased twofold on the bar and my knuckles were white by this time. My teeth were chattering and my knees were knocking. I did not see a happy ending here.

About this time, someone climbed halfway up the first Ferris wheel and yelled up to us 'Hey, how's it goin' up there?' (I hate to swear in my kid's reenactment here but really, honestly? How the hell did he think we were doing up there 5 million miles in the air?)

My aunt Anne yells out 'Hey, we're fine up here. Is there a problem?' No there's no problem!! Ferris wheels stop all the time for 10 minutes and don't move, especially when I'm the one in the top buggy! Are you kidding me?

The fellow yells up that yep, there's a 'minor problem' but it'll be fixed 'before we know it'. I ask you then why wasn't it fixed already because I sure as heck knew about it!

What ensued was a full hour more of us sitting 'on top of the world' swinging away while my aunt cavorted in the buggy and I'm dead sure tried to flip us over all the way so that we'd be hanging upside down. I began to wonder if this was her sequel to taking the pills and maybe she wanted to try flying before she died. It just made no sense. Why not sit still and just chat? Or maybe sing show tunes? Okay so I bagged on the accordion, but I could be flexible!

I have no clue how I did not pass out, upchuck, go insane or all of the above in the hour that stretched from the time the fellow acknowledged that 'Houston, we have a problem' to the time that the Ferris wheel started back up again. All I know is that when it started with another lurch, I was positively sure we were dead. I screamed so loud I think someone in Kansas heard me. I was hyperventilating by the time we got down to halfway and couldn't wait to leap from the Ferris wheel.

Of course, my aunt in all her 'merriment' yells out to the fellow at the controls 'How about we go around a couple of more times because of the stoppage up there?'

Lucky for me, the operator must have noticed that I was white as a sheet and stopped the Ferris wheel whereupon I bolted from the 'buggy' and ran like the hounds of hell were chasing me to find my mother. I think I was incoherently babbling for half an hour promising to play the accordion until I was 99 years old and never, ever to do anything bad again as long as I lived. Unfortunately, those were short-lived promises and when it came down to it, nothing much changed after that day except that I became a blithering idiot when heights were involved!

Double Ferris wheel
Double Ferris wheel | Source

Fast Forward to High School

Despite my crazy life and my penchant for getting into trouble, I did survive. I was not put into an orphanage or an institution for the criminally insane. I went on through grade school though I did remain height impaired after that Long Beach episode.

I also gave up the accordion eventually (like I had a choice). I moved on to my next least favorite instrument to play, the clarinet. I didn't want to play it but that's how things were done back then. Also along with the clarinet came marching band, which I also had no particular interest in since I wanted to be in the hand corps, wear short skirts and prance around in boots. Too bad - Band it was.

As it turned out, it wasn't all bad. I had a great 4 years and made friends who I still have to this day. We had some great band trips and I actually ended up having some of the times of my life. However, just to keep me humble, on one such band trip in my sophomore year, my height impaired affliction reared its ugly head yet again and even better, in front of all my friends.

As my luck would have it, the trip was to none other than Long Beach.  After a grueling day of marching a huge parade and then going through the judging part of the contest, we were turned free on the pier and there I stood, face to face with my memories. The blasted double Ferris wheel was still there only somehow it looked even more ominous against the darkened sky with its bright lights mocking me. My friends were all gathered around me and asking me what was wrong because I looked like I'd seen a ghost. Of course I had - mine!

Not wanting to be a dork or have them think I was some screwed up teenager (even though I totally was), I feigned indigestion. 'Must have been something I ate'. When my best friend at the time yelled out 'Who's up for the Ferris wheel?' I almost seriously did become physically sick. Please God NO - not the Ferris wheel. The DOUBLE Ferris wheel!!

As my luck would have it, yep, that's the one. We're all going to go on it as the Helix Marching Band who came to town and placed first in their division.  We're going to scream like banshees to let the world know how great we are! Yipeeee....did I mention I'm SO excited?

As we all know, I could have opted out here. I could have told the truth about being trapped on the blasted thing and just sat there like a toad on the bench. They wouldn't have teased me THAT much or made fun of me THAT much. But of course I couldn't do it because I was too proud. I was convinced that with a little gumption, I could handle anything. So we bought our tickets and got on the ride of death.

I was thinking it wasn't too bad at first because it was dark out this time. We had gone around a few times forward and except for a few panic moments which caused my friend Janet to look over at me like 'What gives?' I was doing 'pretty good'. I had a death grip on the bar again but I was kinda used to that with this Ferris wheel.

About the time I thought I'd actually conquered my fears though, the operator turned it in reverse and we started to go through the exchange of the 2 Ferris wheels, up and down, and all the spinning, all the while going higher and higher to the very tip top of the structure backwards.

I hate to say it but that snapped it. I let out a scream that I'm sure was heard to New York City this time! My friend Janet almost jumped out of the cart because it was so loud. She looked at me as if I had gone insane, which unfortunately I had!

As we began the descent, I screamed at the operator with all I had 'STOP this thing NOW - I want OFF'. Much to my dismay, he laughed! Something about a frightened kid gets them but a frightened TEENAGER is funny I guess. He just laughed and I swear on my life he cranked it up a notch and gave us a longer ride. And I just kept screaming!  On a Ferris wheel!

I was jelly by the time we got done with the ride or was that Jello? I could barely crawl out of the bucket though I could hardly wait to get my feet on solid ground again. My friends were all looking at me like I was insane of course and my friend Janet had stalked off muttering something about being deaf in her right ear. I wanted to yell after her 'It's not my fault' but I was pretty much hoarse from the screaming I'd done.

Much, much later on the bus, I finally confessed what that was 'all about' but not sure anyone truly believed me. Teens can be your worst enemies when you happen to be one yourself!


One might think that I had conquered my fear of heights. Unfortunately, I haven't done it. Much as I have not conquered my fear of snakes or my fear of flying. However, I figure with only 3 fears, I'm just going to count myself lucky so to speak and move on.

If you've ever been to the Space Needle in Seattle, let me hear from you! I've been there but unfortunately the ride up in the elevator almost killed me as I imagined there would be an earthquake and we would all fall over with the needle and crash into the ground and die. When the doors finally opened and we were actually atop the Space Needle, I didn't see much as it's pretty hard to see something when you're plastered against the side of the building structure with your back to the wall as if that would help. I have to admit I get a lot of looks!

I also tried the Renaissance Center in Detroit. The elevator up the side of the building was again quite spectacular. So spectacular that when the elevator doors opened, I staggered out and fell on top of a concrete post in the middle of the walkway and crashed to the ground. It alarmed some people because I was about 8 months pregnant - go figure!

I have learned these days to just say no if there is an elevator going up the outside of a building and there is a view involved.  It somehow makes the other passengers go a little crazy when I start to scream. 

Likewise, if there is a view of anything that I have to reach that is extremely high in the air, I just say I need to go locate a book or work on a report on my computer in the car.

I maintain there is nothing wrong with knowing your fears and NOT facing them. Further, do not expect me to be in line for the double Ferris wheel at any amusement park any time in this lifetime. I leave this ride to those who are not height impaired!


Again Yahoo!

The Merry Go Round is Looking Pretty Good


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      9 years ago from Washington

      No more of these rides for me, way Jose! I think I've gained my senses now that I am 'old'....thanks for the read and the ride!

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      9 years ago from London, UK

      Oh, Audrey, have to play up all the time? Can you behave yourself? As for Nell, everybody is dying with fright and she thinks of money dropping out. Mind you nothing will get me into those rides.

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      MPG - Thanks so much for the read and glad you got a giggle or two. Yes, my family was/is full of characters and you are right about the times!

      Love the wooden spoon - I actually carried one in my car with my oldest boy who had ADD and would hold it up in the rear view mirror. I was a toughie!

    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Maria Giunta 

      10 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Hilarious Audrey and to anyone younger than us this would be slightly disturbing! You remind me of myself with your 'tomboy' antics (seriously climbing trees, who does that these days?!).

      Its so true isn't it that we can chose our friends but not our relatives, I have some characters in my family as well and with an Italian background, my brother and I saw the wrong end of a wooden spoon a few too many times. Oh God, these days that's child abuse!

      Thanks for the laughs and I must tell you I don't like ferris wheels or many fun park rides, not because I had a 'mishap' like you, just because I'm chicken. lol. Cheers Marie xx.

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      And here I thought it was shorter than 'usual' Shellie! ha ha ha ha I actually have the sequel coming up hopefully this weekend because it isn't over!

      I swear I don't know how these things happen to me but I definitely think God had humor in mind when he created me. He kind of wound me up and said 'see what you can do, kid' and that's just the way it's been.

      Yep - my poor grandmother got more than she bargained for with that hose - unfortunately she actually grabbed me off the ground and dragged me into the house and made me TRY to practice the accordion! Sadly I could not and got another slap up side my head for good measure and I was sent to bed, whereupon my mother found me that night with a broken wing. It's a good thing I come from hearty stock or I might have gone into shock!

      Also on another day - she never gave up her love of the hose! I'm not sure what part of Denmark she came from that used a garden hose (ha ha) as a weapon, but man, she was deadly with that thing. Luckily in this other story, she did not use on ME as I was high up on the roof at the time watching the scene go down. I have to say although I felt bad for the victim, it was comforting to know I was not the only one who got the 'rubber hose!'

      Thanks again for reading - and even my comments can't be short, eh?

    • theherbivorehippi profile image


      10 years ago from Holly, MI

      You know...before I even opened this hub, I read the title and knew it would be a long one so I literally went and made a cup of tea so I could sit here and enjoy it like a good book. Of course, as always after reading your hubs, my sides hurt from laughing.

      First...I cannot believe your grandmother squirted you with the hose. That is so hilarious...I mean, horrible because anyone would know the outcome of that before it happen but! lol

      I happen to be a magnet for roller coasters breaking down while I'm them so I think with my track record and the fact that trouble definitely follows you...we should definitely go to an amusement park for a day and stir up a little fun. lol

      thanks for an enjoyable hub!!

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Dolores - That sounds so cool - only I have a feeling that the 'view' would probably kill me if I opened my eyes! Who knows though, the older you get, the more you forget so one of these days I may just see a Ferris wheel and say what the heck and give it another shot....only probably will have to bring ear plugs for Bob just in case!

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 

      10 years ago from East Coast, United States

      There is a very old Ferris Wheel on Coney Island that you can ride on and see Manhatten - the cars (or cages) are on a track and slide back and forth as you spin. It is the coolest Ferris Wheel ever. I actually used to be afraid of them myself, but suddenly one day, began to appreciate the scenery and now I love them!

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Katie - Colorful is always good I say - if you've read Billy Crystal's book about Sundays with his father, you'll see some great characters probably minus the schizophrenia but humorous all the same.....will have to think about writing that series!

      Micky - Thanks for pedaling by as always - my life is a series of Halloween stories most likely! But you have to take it with a grain of salt.

      Dallas - Thanks so much for stopping in and the read!

      Lisa - Thanks for stopping by - my childhood was kinda the ride of a lifetime but I always think I got some great character building out of it - and some humorous stories! When I look at the picture of me and the accordion, all I can do is smile. It was a demon in my life at the time but now it just makes me chuckle. And it's sitting in the closet - not me! This is a good thing!!

    • lisadpreston profile image


      10 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      You poor thing. I can relate so much to these horrifying experiences, including the crazy relatives and your fun loving adventurous spirit. You wrote this so well that I actually relived my own moments with you and was a little queasy. The picture of you with the accordion is so cute. I cannot wait to read more.

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 

      10 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      A great talent. Thanks for sharing. Enjoyed the process.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      10 years ago

      You could turn this into THE Halloween story! The Killer Ferris Wheel!

    • katiem2 profile image

      Katie McMurray 

      10 years ago from Westerville

      What a colorful family, don't we all have one? My Grandma was a neat freak and if you left ANYTHING laying somewhere it should not have been and she saw it... it would dissapear. Still to this day I'm not sure how she did it, but she did and the item never returned. I've got issues with neatness to this day.

      Love the picture of you with your beloved, heavy and weightlifting accordion. That fall from the tree had to hurt, broke my shoulder when I was 12 and it was painful. I can't imagine her with that hose, you'd think the water pressure wouldn't be that strong. But back then everything was bigger and better.

      I've never rode a ferris wheel, I myself have always been afraid of faulty equipment that makes no sense, the ferris wheel has no draw for me and I'm not one to be talked into anything.

      I enjoyed your colorful story and must say you are one very interesting gal with a fantastic amount of history to share, you should write a series, You could call it... I don't know but I'm sure you'll think of something. Keep em coming.

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Yes, Carolina, I am a woman of many talents - most of them comedically based, including playing the accordion! Blasted instrument!

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      10 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      what an entertaining hub.. especially the accordion part!!

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Sage, you are a sweetheart and you are amazing as well!

      Rochelle - Thanks so much for stopping by - and the PIKE - that was what I was trying to remember it was called! I could have truly done without the malfunction - in so many ways!! Thanks for the read.

      Alekhouse - I actually never left San Diego until I was 22 except for a trip once to San Fran and a couple to Tiajuana - but then I lived in Detroit for 2 years, Chicago for 5 years, then Seattle for 23 years, and now Oregon for 6. I guess I have gotten around! I was worried about sharing that picture of me - and so glad you liked it. It is the only thing that makes me smile about the accordion!

      Sandy - Thanks so much for the read - all true!

      Nellie - Now there's a thought! That is too hilarious - can you imagine what I'd be like today if I'd been trapped UPSIDE DOWN on top of it. Although I seriously did think my Auntie Anne was TRYING to get us upside down. Oh my lord when she kept swinging that blasted 'buggy' back and forth. I truly think that is one of my craziest memories of her and glad it turned out a positive anyhow! I imagine it gave her a laugh or two down through the years as I'm sure my eyes were bugging out of my head and it was probably the ONLY time in my life I was behaving!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      10 years ago from England

      Hi, Audrey, the one thing about all your mishaps is your sense of humour never disappears! brilliant! i hate those ferris wheels, or big wheel as we call it, I remember going up in one of those double ones and nearly cacking myself! ha ha but the funny thing is about the fair going wrong was that a couple of years ago in my town, one of the rides went wrong and left all the people about 200 feet up in the air, upside down! phew! thank goodness i wasn't on it! But my wicked sense of humour was trying to make me go stand underneath to try to catch all the money falling out of their pockets! ha ha

    • Sandyspider profile image

      Sandy Mertens 

      10 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      An amazing story. Love it.

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      10 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      So funny. I love the way yopu wrote this. Oregon, San Francisco, Detroit??? Did you move around a lot?

      You play the accordion? Love it! LOL Do you still play? It's not very popular now. My dad used to play. It wasn't his main instrument, but he was good enough on it to play at polish weddings. I absolutely love that picture of you with the accordion.

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      10 years ago from California Gold Country

      I loved your telling of this. As I grew up in Long Beach, I visited "The Pike" many times. The double ferris wheel was really as scary as the Cyclone Racer, and the "Fun House"-- I kept my eyes closed in that one. Luckily I never experienced a malfunction. They were bad enough when doing what they were supposed to.

    • Sage Williams profile image

      Sage Williams 

      10 years ago

      You are amazing!

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Oh Sage - you kinda sorta hit my personality on the head to be honest! I realize that some of it was TOTALLY insane only because I raised my own children and realized what 'normal' was supposed to be like.

      I think that is one reason though that I try and see the humor in it all because if I didn't, I'd be crying until the cows came home. It's a hard thing to realize that maybe you didn't receive the 'best' care in the world and that no one protected you from such calamities, but then on the other hand, they were/are good people so that is the heart of the matter.

      Even as a child, I think I could see that and maybe that's what helped me survive it all though I did have an ulcer by the time I was 16 (big surprise) and I was seriously a 'little' screwed up in the self-image department. I always claim though that that's what made me who I am today so it could not have been all bad! I do mourn occasionally the childhood that was not quite normal and most especially it was hard living with that. As you can imagine, I was made fun of incessantly and had to fight my way out of many a situation for the 'family honor'. Even if I knew it wasn't normal, by god, no one was going to say that about my family!!

      So here I am at 56 almost 57 trying in my own way to pay my respects I guess to a life that once was. It seems unreal sometimes to think that was me or that it really truly all happened to me but that goes to show you, you can rise above many things and still be okay. I THINK I'm okay!!

      I love that you love my writing - and yes, recipes are a huge part of who I am because I believe in taking care of our bodies - but there are many sides to this old lady....wait until my youtube accordion video comes out!! I still hate the blasted thing and it sits in my closet and mocks me!

    • Sage Williams profile image

      Sage Williams 

      10 years ago

      akirchner - I have to tell you, since I have been back to hubpages. Your writing style has stood out immensely to me. When I left you were pretty much writing recipes and they were pretty awesome to say the least. But lately the hubs that I have read are just amazing.

      You have a sense of humor that has taken you through some pretty rough times and continues to surface in your writing.

      As much as the scenes can be comical in one way or another.

      I tend to gravitate to the emotional state of you as a little girl and what you must of experienced growing up in those insane moments.

      Maybe cause I have a few of my own with my bipolar aunt. (And don't get me wrong, like your grandmother I really loved her and she was the best thing in my childhood.) On the other hand she was nuts and with the flip of the switch would beat the hell out of you.

      I guess where I am going here is my heart really goes out to that little girl who was hosed out of the tree and that little girl that was horrified on top of the Ferris wheel with an adult who should have been comforting her. Not terrorizing her.

      My father also had a sick sense of humor so I can relate to those terms as well.

      One way that I always did reality checks as an adult was to ask myself, "Is this something that I would do to my own children?"

      That one question would throw it into perspective real fast and I would see the absurditiy in it.

      Sorry if this is comment did not go the way that you would have liked it. But I have to be honest.

      The writing of the story is wonderful, your sense of humor is amazing. I guess, due to my own background, I seem to connect to the underlying emotional state of that poor little girl.

      But that's just me. I won't be hurt if you want to delete this comment. I'm not trying to be critical whatsoever $6. I love the way you write.


    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Thanks, BJ - of course that made it all worthwhile don't ya know? In retrospect, I was always terrified of her, probably more that I would become like her, but in the end when I grew up and got 'real', I found that she was just like everybody else, slightly damaged but under the circumstances, understandable.

      I actually entertained her with my stories until the day that she died at a ripe old age of 84 (from pneumonia) so it was all good. I was glad to have a chance to remember her on a day when I thought MY life was definitely over!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      10 years ago from south Florida

      Golly, gee, Audrey, just when I think I've read about all the "insane" adventures anyone could have - with fish, and snakes, and sleds, and whatnot - you come up with another "insane" Ferris wheel story.

      Pore baby, I suffered with you during that re-telling. Acrophobia is not generally a laughing matter but you did make it fiendishly funny in the retelling. And it did seem to cheer up your auntie.

    • akirchner profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Kirchner 

      10 years ago from Washington

      Probably so Dim, probably so! I think I was just too much for all of them to handle to tell the truth. Or at the very least, I must have given them a run for their money. They were certainly lively characters at best! I did what I could to help fuel the fires, don't ya know? Thanks for the read.

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 

      10 years ago from UK

      So insanity runs in the family then, Insane Person? Why am I not surprised? I find it touching that you freely admit to driving your grandma to schizophrenia, but shirking the blame for driving your aunt to attempted suicide is not really fair now, is it? Your aunt seemed to know it though and appears to have wanted to take you with her. :-)))


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)