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HEAVEN KNOWS - A Short Story (Partners & Sleep Schedules)

Updated on November 3, 2014
Speculation on what Heaven will be like is something we all do, even if some speculate that there isn't such a thing.  Here's a humorous look at what might be going on "up there."
Speculation on what Heaven will be like is something we all do, even if some speculate that there isn't such a thing. Here's a humorous look at what might be going on "up there." | Source

Tired partners and limitations, who would have guessed?

There is one organization which has expanded here in Heaven, over what it was on Earth where it was called "Parents Without Partners".

It's a toss up whether different lifestyles led to increased divorce on Earth, or whether increased divorce led to different lifestyles, but in any case it has proven very difficult to get every couple back together when (and if) they both arrive here---plus the situations in which one or more Earth partners felt they had been released by their pledges being only "until death do we part."

This problem was compounded by the re-married, married couples, and the questions that would have arisen as to who should share who with whom for some or all of eternity.

To solve this dilemma, Parents Without Partners was renamed Parents, Ltd. and presently organizes franchises for local branch operations, some as limited partnerships and others as full partnerships.

This provides the needed order, and proper mix of freedom and responsibility, while keeping the whole thing businesslike and quasi-legal.

Overall in a way coming to Heaven is like entering West Point the military academy, and, since most folks haven't ever had that experience either, perhaps I had better explain.

When I first came, it seemed as if I had lost some freedoms.. For example I was free from the risk of sickness, but that meant I couldn't take a day of sick leave and stay home to watch the quiz shows and "How The World Turns." So, while I was free from sickness, I was no longer free to claim I was sick. (Actually those Earth times I had falsely called in saying "I'm sick [fingers crossed] and won't be at work today" were the subject of a long Heavenly counseling session entitled "Prevarication Ends Here.")

I am free from hunger, and, of course, didn't really crave a chance to be hungry. So, that freedom wasn't missed at all. Overeating is considered a Heavenly sin with a certain degree of charitable reproach from one's current associates, and I am no longer free to gorge myself either---even for the weekly Thanksgiving dinners.

We had a situation, a few hundred Earth years before I arrived, when the Heavenly Host suggested that we should all be allowed to be tired just as we often had been on Earth. That led to some spirited debates (all in good spirit, of course) with the two sides "pro-tired" and "pro-full of pep" giving their best media blitz to their points of view.

For the time being at least, a compromise experiment is underway which lets us be free to be tired every day, but only at our individual bedtimes.

This seems to be working well in some of the Parents, Ltd. branches and poorly in others. I don't know the reasons why, because in Heaven our private lives are our own business and nobody would ever think of prying.

But, in my own case I think it's been overdone. It's spoiled any thought of bedtime sports, affection, etc. It means I'm just too tired at that time of the day---but at least it's not just an excuse!

(c) 2011 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.

Note: This is just one in a series of "Heaven Knows" short stories you can enjoy here on HubPages. Here is a link you can click to go to another in the series:.


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    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      You know what's funny? Everyone chuckled but nobody gave this a "Funny" score!

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      There are more in this series and all Hubbers are invited to add their own Hubs to the series.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Didge: You could wrie Haiku poems! You have the art of saying things succinctly. I will take a "Fantastic" comment on one of my "Heaven Knows" Hubs any day. Thanks for Hub Hopping to this three months old Hub. I am very glad you enjoyed it so much as to make that comment.

    • Didge profile image

      Didge 5 years ago from Southern England

      Fantastic hub!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Hi Perspycacious

      I don't think every couple should be or wants to be brought back together. Could be more like hell than heaven for some.

      I like the idea that Heaven is private and what we do is nobody's business. Well, except for God. He knows what we are doing anyway. ;-)

      Voted up and awesome.

    • clara kish@yahoo. profile image

      Clara Kish 6 years ago from Mt. Perry. Ohio

      I have never given much thought of what Heaven will be like. I just want to make it through Heaven's Gate and whatever is up there is all right with me,it has to be so much better than it is here on earth. I am sure we will all have a job to do when we get there but it will be something that we will love to do .Not like an earthly job down here! Clara

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 6 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Just imagine: we will have forever to ask forgiveness of anyone we have offended here in mortality. That could take a long, long time, what with perfect recall and such.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 6 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      What a unique perspective. Gave me some food for thought. Thank you. vote up

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      What a great article.. I voted up

      Happy New Year


    • profile image

      Robin Kemp 6 years ago

      Great wit. Thanks for an good article.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 6 years ago from California

      Clever write!

    • profile image

      Website Examiner 6 years ago

      Witty, original, and well-articulated.