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This was sent to me by a friend of mine. If you have seen it before, sorry. No, I did not write this so I'm not claiming it as my work - it is however, meant to be amusing.
Some ways of how men entertain themselves in a grocery store in England
This is what happens when a woman takes an unwilling male to the store with her.
This letter was actually sent by the company's Head Office to a customer in :
Dear Mrs. Smith,
We would like to thank you for your loyalty and value you as customer, the manager of our store in Ipswich is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. May 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. June 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. June 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. June 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. July 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. August 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.
7. August 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. September 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle, he asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11.October 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. October 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.
And; last, but not least:
14. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.
This is courtesy of my good friend Kaff - thanks , you're the girl~
