Reasons Why You Should Never Go Grocery Shopping While Half Asleep

I've often heard you should never go grocery shopping while hungry because you buy too much food. I've also heard you should never go to the grocery store after just eating a big meal because you'll barely buy anything, even if you need it. But did you know you should never go to the supermarket for groceries while half asleep? Oh yes, this is true and I learned it the hard way.

Let me tell you how I stumbled upon this important information. Three factors played a part in this discovery: extreme heat, sickness, and Atlantic City. Yes, this is amazing! Who needs scientific data with factors like these? Basically, I have not been feeling so great lately, but I have been toughing it out by going to work and not letting anything drag down my planned day trip to Atlantic City. On top of that, it is has been hot. Really hot. Really, really, really, hot. I don't think I can stress that enough.

Yesterday, I went on a lovely day trip to Atlantic City. Thankfully, a bus took us, which was in my best interest since driving has never been my best skill, and navigating probably isn't my thing when I am exhausted and not feeling so well. It was a great day, but it was really hot. I think we've already established this earlier on. Really, really, really hot.

After being sick, suffering from the extreme heat, and wandering around all day in Atlantic City, my Sunday should have been spent sleeping late. However, that was not going to happen. Do you know why? Because it is really, really, really hot in Maryland and I needed to get up at the crack of dawn for groceries, that is why. I needed to get up as the sun was coming up so I could "beat the heat" and walk to the local grocery store. Oh, the fun that awaited me!

You can imagine the joy I was feeling as I rolled out of bed this morning to get dressed at the crack of dawn to go to a supermarket I wasn't even sure had reopened yet. After all, just last weekend, no stores had any power in that area because of a monster storm that came through and knocked out the electricity in Maryland. Stupid, evil storm. For this reason, I was running kind of low on groceries anyway. It was getting serious in my fridge.

I knew my mission was to get to the grocery store as fast as humanly possible and return before it started to hit the 90s. This was all easier said than done in a zombie-like state. I was inspired though since I had just eaten the last piece of cheese, and I refuse to live without cheese. We all have our limits and I had hit mine.

At any rate, I was off to the grocery store. It is not even my favorite grocery store, it is just the cheapest one that opens at the crack of dawn. Also, they sell cheese. It was important to get cheese. I also wanted popsicles. This is important to the story as well. I am really getting off topic right now. Perhaps hubs should not be written while half asleep either.

After stumbling towards the grocery store for 15 minutes in sleepwalk mode, I finally arrived at around 7:15 in the morning. The scene I found there was similar to any zombie movie I'd ever seen. People were roaming around also looking like they were sleepwalkers. If I were to use one word to describe how folks looked, the word "energetic" would not come to mind.

Let's face it, no one should be up at 7:15 doing grocery shopping on a Sunday morning. But yet, we were. I felt a special kinship to the other zombie-like customers. Perhaps they also needed cheese, popsicles, and medication to make their Sunday a little brighter just like me. Honestly, it looked like most were just leaving the night shift from somewhere else and getting groceries before going home to sleep. At any rate, we were in the same "wish we were in bed snoozing" boat.

I had been compiling a grocery shopping list all week in anticipation for that awesome moment when I finally got to acquire actual groceries from a store that finally had electricity and fresh food. I was not planning on being nearly asleep when this happened, but nonetheless, I remembered the list and was proud of this achievement.

I really did intend on sticking to the list, but somewhere along the way, I found myself improvising. This is the first reason you should not go grocery shopping while half asleep (hey, am I getting back on topic now?)... grocery lists mean nothing to you when you think your entire shopping experience could all be part of a dream.

Potatoes were on my grocery shopping list. Somehow in my dreamy state I interpreted this to mean I needed boxes (yes, plural!) of Au Gratin potatoes. Imagine my surprise when I came home, took a nap, and then starting unpacking my bags. Did I mention I have radishes, boxes (yes, also plural!) of Jello, strawberries, and hot dogs? They were not on the list at all. I think the radishes were on sale. I am not sure about the rest.

I also noticed this morning I got lost a lot in the grocery store. This would be the next reason why someone should not go shopping while almost asleep. I went to get granola bars three different times and ended up in the wrong aisles buying other stuff. I suspect this is when the Jello somehow ended up in my basket.

I also nearly ran into other shoppers while I was shopping. I mean, literally almost ran into people. It would have been embarrassing if any of us were actually awake to notice this happened more than once. It was OK. The details at this point are blurry for me and I am sure everyone else there this morning can say the same.

I have been craving those red, white, and blue popsicles for weeks. However, due to extreme heat (walking popsicles home when it is 103 degrees is not possible) and 7-Eleven's inability to carry delicious red, white, and blue popsicles (Jerks! The rainbow kind is not the same!), I have not been able to satisfy my desperate need to eat these popsicles.

Finally, I was armed with a Target cooler bag and ice packs this morning. It is amazing how much effort an exhausted person can put into preparing for one trip to the grocery store when popsicles are so important. This was the day I would get my red, white, and blue popsicles! I was as excited as one can possibly be when half asleep.

At the end of my grocery shopping / sleepwalk adventure, I went to pick up my popsicles before getting in line. Much to my dismay, there were no red, white, and blue popsicles. I don't know if you've ever seen a grown woman cry over popsicles before, but it certainly almost happened this morning. All of my frustration and exhaustion boiled over and I almost openly weeped in the middle of the frozen foods aisle.

I somehow managed to pull myself together and accept the fact that I was not getting these delicious red, white, and blue popsicles. I wasn't even picky about the brand! Anything that was red, white, and blue would have worked! But oh no, apparently no one is patriotic anymore in this country when it comes to their frozen treats. This was simply not meant to be for me!

I finally decided to get some similar popsicles made with yogurt (perhaps this would help my stomach anyway) and move on with my life. After all, I was able to purchase plenty of cheese, so that helped my mood. Oh, I suppose my point with this is you can easily cry over ridiculous matters when you are half asleep. It is better to stay home and not subject the world to your madness. Yes, there... I knew was attempting to make some type of point.

Thank you for taking this ridiculous journey with me. I do realize perhaps I am still not quite able to function as I should considering this does not even have an actual list with reasons in it as to why you should not grocery shop while half asleep. However, I don't really have the time to ponder over how bad this hub really is since another storm seems to be brewing outside, and no doubt, I will need to shut off the computer in case the power goes out suddenly. So please, enjoy my insanity.... at least until I have the time to edit all the craziness out of this hub.

Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle