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How To Get Yourself Robbed

Updated on September 7, 2015

Are you a thrill seeker who enjoys intense situations? One who loves being forced to hand over money and/or valuables under the threat of direct violence? Here are some simple ways to make one’s self more appealing to those looking for their next victim. In some cases, it won’t even take much work on your part,

Be it the economic climate, or just a decline in civilization, it seems that today more than ever, people can be trusted to do the wrong thing. Included here are several easy ways to ensure getting yourself robbed. Think of it as a backwards PSA.

*If one does not want to get robbed it is suggested they do the exact opposite of the tips listed below.

Carry cash and count it in public – Riding the train or walking down a busy street, one sure fire way to attract the attention of those with less than noble intentions is to pull out a wad of cash and start counting. Let’s see $35…$40….$41…$42…say was I at $41 or $42? I’m sure you can find someone to help you out.

Pay no attention to your surroundings – While walking to the ATM, be sure to pay absolutely no attention to what’s going on around you. Concentrate on pulling out your wallet, and if you want to go the extra mile, start chanting your pin code.

Avoid well lit areas - Whether you are out for an evening jog, or just taking an after dinner stroll, be sure to avoid streetlights. Take a shortcut through an unknown part of town, cut through back alleyways, or maybe even park your car in a dark creepy back lot. Have Fun!

Show off that Ipad! – If you have an Ipad, nook, kindle or some other cool gadget, show it off. Use it on public transportation or if you drive, just leave it on the passenger seat when you go shopping! Trust that your fellow citizens will take care of the rest.

Social Media– This one makes it easy. Before you go on your summer vacay, announce it to the world via Facebook or Twitter. Better yet, make sure there are photos of your house and/or address posted on your profile and that all privacy settings are off or set to default, which is off. New tv? Facebook it! Brand new laptop? Ditto! Or better yet, send out public invitations on fb for the next party at your place! Social media makes everything easier, including getting robbed!

Craigslist– If you buy or sell anything on Craigslist, be sure to arrange the purchase at your home address. If you are selling electronics, invite the potential buyer inside to case the joint--err- see the newer television you just bought. Sure, you've never met Shadycat666 in person, but that doesn't make him a bad guy now does it?

Do not use common sense -This is crucial. If you're out in the city, having a good time, disregard all common sense that you may otherwise use. Drinking at the bar? Leave that phone on the table. Need some cash? Dart out by yourself to that atm you saw several blocks down the street. Nothing says safe like a drunk out-of-towner with lowered inhibitions!

At the ball game – You're probably thinking, at the ball game? I can't get robbed there, it's a family atmosphere! And you would be wrong. Today, many ball games are packed with drunk people looking for trouble. To increase your chances, visit the restroom wearing the opposing team's jersey, be loud!

These simple, easy, everyday tips should help you find it easier in your quest to get robbed. Getting robbed or burglarized is easier than ever, requiring little effort on our part as our society never ceases to amaze and astound us with new lows. With a lack of regard or concern about others, your chances of experiencing a theft have greatly improved over the years. So remember, head down, eyes closed, and wallet open! Good Luck!

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    • profile image

      michael veto 3 years ago

      Last week I flashed my miney and a 15 year old kid told me to run my pockets it was exciting

    • profile image

      michael veto 3 years ago

      Thanks for the tip i just got robbed i flashed my money and someone told me to run my pockets and i handed the money over he said thank you to me for flashing my money he alao sais i was an easy target

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 3 years ago from Virginia

      Michael, it sounds as if spfld is a very low crime locality, but at the same time I feel as though you are not fully committed to getting jacked. Keep at it my friend. Find the nearest liquor store or cash advance business and continue your efforts. Good Luck!

    • profile image

      Michael veto 3 years ago

      Is there anyone from spfld mass that will tell to run my pockets i wanna get robbed

    • profile image

      michael veto 3 years ago

      Today i have $47 and i counted it and no one approached me saying they wanted to rob me so wat do i do to get robbed?

    • profile image

      michael veto 3 years ago

      U know ppl in the spfld area that will rob me? Wat will happen if i flash my money in public? By posting it would get me robbed?

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 3 years ago from Virginia

      Not sure. That may take some work. But you're on the right track by posting it...

    • profile image

      michael veto 3 years ago

      I live in spfld mass im getting one hundred and sixty dollars after christmas i wanna get robbed wat do i do

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      My kids and the ipad left on the park bench everywhere... UGH! Thanks so much... great informaiton!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Great points Rock_nj, thanks!

      I would recommend that rahul, Thanks!

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Will do exactly the opposite my friend!

      Great Scribe LOL!

    • Rock_nj profile image

      John Coviello 5 years ago from New Jersey

      Another way to get robbed is to leave your purse or personal belongings unattended in a store, including a grocery store, while you think deeply about whether or not you want to make a purchase. While you think about it, a robber may act on taking your purse or personal belongings.

      The social networking one is important. People updating their status all of the time are letting the bad guys (and gals) know that they are not home and their home is available to be burglarized.

    • ib radmasters profile image

      ib radmasters 5 years ago from Southern California

      Good one

      Did I miss the one where you are in the mall parking lot, thinking that it is safe with all the cameras, and security. This is how car jackers go car shopping but don't know how to break into a car, and hot wire it. But, wait you have the keys.

      Thanks

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks jainismus!

      Glad I could help singhrakeshs, thanks!

      Thank you Electro-Denizen, you can never be too carelesss!

    • Electro-Denizen profile image

      Charles 5 years ago from Wales, UK

      Beautiful hub! Great ideas on how to aid robbery. Will take less care next time. Voted up!

    • singhrakeshs profile image

      singhrakeshs 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Useful hub and nice tips you have sharing...

      Voted up ++ Useful ....

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 5 years ago from Pune, India

      Great tips for getting robbed easily.....

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks tillsontitan, it is amazing what people will post on fb!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      A humorous way to make a serious point. You've done a great job. There are lots of people out there that should read and heed this hub! Especially the FB fans who give out details of their every journey.

      Voted up and useful.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      That's all I know gabgirl, thanks!

    • gabgirl12 profile image

      gabgirl12 5 years ago

      Wow...very tongue and cheek here. I also am reminded of the fact that being a 'woman' its also easier to get robbed and worse even to be raped. Sad but true. Also being elderly is another factor, but lately you have been hearing about older folks defending themselves. I think especially you should never announce you're going to retire to too many people. Even if it's a great thing, I think it puts you at risk.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      I hear ya WillStarr, I would like to think the good still outweighs the bad, but I may be fooling myself! Thanks for reading!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Funny stuff, but it's also sad that you are describing the new reality in the US. Fifty years ago, you could have done all of that without worry, as long as it wasn't in a known bad neighborhood. Today, danger is everywhere.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks alipuckett! That one will work every time!

    • alipuckett profile image

      alipuckett 5 years ago

      HA! Great tips. I love the idea of standing around in public counting cash! I'll try that one today!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      spartucus, I'm glad I could be of some help, if this hub can just help one person get robbed, my work is done. Thanks!

      Thanks yenzDaSynthKiller, glad you enjoyed it!

    • YenzDaSynthKiller profile image

      YenzDaSynthKiller 5 years ago from North Carolina

      HA HA, too funny. Great Hub overall. Nice format as well, Keep up the Great Work!

    • spartucusjones profile image

      CJ Baker 5 years ago from Parts Unknown

      The other day I was thinking to myself that I was never robbed before. Now I know why. By implementing your tips I am sure of being robbed in no time. Thanks for the practical assistance.