ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Argue Better: For Geniuses

Updated on September 30, 2015

Arguing Action Figures

Forget G.I.Joe and Barbie, buy your kids Argueman action figures.  Hours of fun for the kids.
Forget G.I.Joe and Barbie, buy your kids Argueman action figures. Hours of fun for the kids.

How to Argue

Do you know how to argue well? Follow these simple tips for arguing to make sure you start what you'll never finish. Just ask yourself, "Why would you not want to argue better than everybody else?" "What's so cool about not arguing?" "Why would anyone in his right mind ever let an argument end?" What kind of person says to himself, "I don't want to argue with this jerk?"

Become Better at Arguing

Could you improve your arguing skills?

You're probably saying, "No, of course not. I never have any trouble arguing, because I am sooooo perfect." You probably think "I'm the best arguer in the whole wide world."

Fine go ahead and stop reading. I don't need you. I can argue just fine on my own.

Don't argue on an empty stomach

Don't confuse your combatant with dinner.  They can't argue from inside your stomach.
Don't confuse your combatant with dinner. They can't argue from inside your stomach.

Success Depends on "YOU"

Delete the word "I" from your vocabulary. Infuse the word "you" as much as possible.

Miraculously transform a statement like: "I would like to talk, because I am concerned" into "You don't give a crap about anything. You are always screwing up everything. It's all your fault."

Those not well versed in the art of arguing fall for it every time. The "you" exchange lures the novice to defend himself, only to be met with another dose of "you" artillery.

Agree to Disagree

Agreeing to disagree isn't as easy as it sounds. Armchair psychologists tell you that it is a great way to solve conflict. I'm going to agree to disagree with all of them. It doesn't mean AGREEING to disagree with another person; it means agreeing to always DISAGREE.

Your policy and commitment must be to disagree at any opportune moment, with anyone, at any time, for any reason. This is much more work than you think. You have to be ready at all times to say, "That's a bunch of bull and you know it."

Agree to disagree can also mean one of the best argument strategies. You simply say, "I Agree" but you do it in a sarcastic tone. In effect, you are agreeing with your words in order to disagree with nonverbal communication. This is one of the best ways to get the ball rolling. Other variations include:

  • "You're right, you're ALWAYS right."
  • "That's the BEST idea I've ever heard, EINSTEIN."
  • "What would I do without YOUR help, GENIUS."

For some reason when you use this tactic it's better to mention "Einstein" or the word "genius." And don't forget to roll your eyes, shake your head, and sigh.

Example: "YEAH, I agree, agreeing to disagree is a GREAT way to resolve conflict, I should have thought of that. You're such a GENIUS!" (eyes rolling)


Laughter is the best medicine for hypoargumentitis (annoyingly low levels of arguing). Sometimes laughing is enough to get the argument started, but it is sure to sustain what you have labored so hard to begin. When you laugh, the other person sees your happy facial features and hears your delight. Quickly, they too will want to share in your joy. It's contagious just like yawning. The whole room usually gets into it.

Plus you are showing confidence in your argumentative stance and keeping your opponent guessing, even if you don't have anything to say. This is the best defense for an assertive person who uses those despicable, ridiculous argument killing "I statements." Here's an example;

  • "I would like to talk to you about yesterday."
  • (Laugh)
  • "I don't think it's funny"
  • (Laugh) You're right, I agree. (eyes rolling... agreeing to disagree)
  • "I'll talk to you when you are ready to talk"
  • (Laugh) I'm ready, but you don't seem ready. You look upset.

This brings us to the next suggestion...

Point Fingers

Don't forget the classic "point the finger" technique.  It still works after all these years.  "Smell it.  Smell it."  "Yuck, I don't know where that's been?"
Don't forget the classic "point the finger" technique. It still works after all these years. "Smell it. Smell it." "Yuck, I don't know where that's been?"

Keep the Coffee Hot

When the conversation gets cold, don't pour a new cup of argument. Just add more delicious hot subjective topics to the brew. Here's a list of ideas to keep the argument hot and flowing.

  1. Who/What is the best ___________ ? Whether it's a musician, basketball player, political party, religion, everything on the menu will be good as long as it is your opinion and you know you are right and you are going to change the other person's opinion. Remember to agree to disagree with whatever their views are.
  2. Money. "Keep your money where you mouth is." Let your mouth flow with statements of how it should be spent, who works harder for it. You get the idea.
  3. Arguing. Even arguing can be a topic of an argument. Who argues the most? Who starts arguments more often? Explore these topics when things cool down.
  4. The Future. Not always smart to bet on, but the future is one of the best argument topics. Speculate about anything, as long as it hasn't happened yet. Pick something far in advance. Don't argue about things that will be revealed soon such as the color of the next car that comes around the corner of a busy street. You could, however, use this as a springboard to argue about color. "It's navy blue." "It's black." "Nu uh." "Yeah huh."
  5. Why? Who, what, when, where, and how just don't help arguing as much. Learn to ask "why?" This can be as simple as asking why someone bought a Ford or why someone believes in God. Anticipate what your opponent may say, and then fire another "why?" To keep it fresh you can essentially ask "why" by asking things like: "What were you thinking when you..? How in the world did you expect to..? What superhero did you think you were when you..? Where were you going to get the money for...?"

Last Words

Remember that the secret to arguing well is to focus not on figuring out who is right, but telling the other person how they are wrong. Remind yourself, this person will probably not remember what you argued about a year from now, but they sure will remember how wrong they were. It's not easy, but it is extremely rewarding.

Make sure to get the last word, because anything less would be quitting. And quitters never win arguments.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Robert Sacchi profile image

      Robert Sacchi 

      5 years ago

      That is a good list. Another thing to consider is every logical falacy. False logic has probably won more arguments than true logic. It has the plus of annoying anyone making a logical argument.

    • Blake Flannery profile imageAUTHOR

      Blake Flannery 

      10 years ago from United States


      Whatever...Yes you are a good arguer. (sigh and eyes rolling)

    • Ben Zoltak profile image

      Ben Zoltak 

      10 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

      Is this the first piece I've ever read by you Mr. Flannery? Yes it is. You know it is. Well maybe you don't know, but you think you might know.

      Ah, I need more practice. I can't believe I've gone this far in life and have never been presented with the basics of arguing. This will come in very handy if I ever start teaching teenagers again! Also, I haven't seen that MP skit in a long time.

      Thanks for both.


    • banefulpurity profile image


      11 years ago

      I like to argue - pick me! pick me!

      Very inspiring - I shall try it out this weekend because we always argue on Sundays. And by "we" I do mean everyone I come in contact with. Disorder? I think not.

    • Blake Flannery profile imageAUTHOR

      Blake Flannery 

      11 years ago from United States


      You are exactly the type of person this hub was written for. Now you can match wits with the inlaws. Good luck.


      You'll have to explain to me what "oints" are first before we get into an argument. Am I just to stupid to figure out your supreme sentence and word construction?

      SEM Pro,

      You would show up and write something like that. You messed up my comments section for this hub. You are always ruining everything. Why would you do that? You are unbelievable. Thanks a lot for the earth shattering comment, Einstein.

    • SEM Pro profile image

      SEM Pro 

      11 years ago from North America

      LOL You are right! You're always right Blake! Sarcasm is the only way to argue properly! (NOT!) This is the best hub you've ever written Einstein! (eyes rolling) What would we do without your advice Genius? > | < I'll comment when you're ready to comment back!

      Ahhh - I'd be a lot better at this if your wonderful conflict resolution points hadn't been so great months ago :( Fabulous hub - loved it!!!

    • Storytellersrus profile image


      11 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Hey Blake, Haven't read a Hub from you in a very long time. This one contains the dear humor that flows from your fingertips.  Fun to rediscover it.

      I didn't learn how to quit arguing until I met my husband's family.  A few of them can be very cruel and taught me that arguing is not about learning or exploring ideas but all about beating someone up... so I quit engaging!

      Maybe debate lessons are in order, but I tend to turn my head or the subject these days.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)