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How to Tame A Contentious Wife

Updated on January 11, 2017

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife (Proverbs 21:19)

Many husbands have moved out of their marital homes because of criticism by their spouses. What these men want in their homes is peace but what they get is war. What can they do to satisfy their critical spouses? What can men do to prevent an occurrence of divorce? During courtship and early in marriage, their wives seem to be very understanding and supportive of their spouses. The marriage seems to be just perfect as the husband had envisioned. But as time passes on the wife gradually becomes quarrelsome. After sometime the conflicts in marriage are in a smaller scale only for the wife to apologize afterword. As life progress the intensity of the wife’s criticism increases and husbands find themselves spending less time with their spouses, just to have peace. This completely infuriates the women. As the man tries to be patient, there is a steady flow of criticism from the wife which becomes unbearable. Eventually this leads to separation and the thought of the spouses salvaging their marriage become number one agenda in their life. The story has always been the same, that the wife is very accommodative despite the rudeness of her partner. It is always about decision making, initially the wife would request to be involved in decision making in a polite manner. If she is ignored in decisions making her criticism persists indefinitely and the resentment of her spouse sets in. These problems have been there for decades and are well understood by ladies whose spouses ignore their complaints. By articulating their anger with much intensity they usually get the attention of their spouses.

What can husbands do?

The solution to end nagging cannot be handled by one spouse, it takes two to tangle. During the initial stages in marriage when the wife is respectful, when she raises an issue the husband should take her complaint very seriously. He should try to work with her and find a common working ground, listening to her opinions which will make both spouses happy by the end of the day. By doing so he has an opportunity to get rid of small problems before they grow into monsters.

When the conflicts enter the second stage of nagging, her goodwill has already been eroded. She no longer envies her spouse; she must force her husband to care for her. She may become angry, disrespectful up to a point where she starts demanding for respect all in an effort to get her presence felt.

The correct way to deal with this situation is to sort out the complaints in a respectful manner, but initially one has to understand why the spouse is stubborn and this is where her cooperation is absolutely needed. On her part she should be ready to negotiate with respect which would work for both parties. In this state of affairs, the wife’s judgments should not be clouded in frustration, rage and self interest. The first step in solving these problems, is to remember that we are all human beings and come from different backgrounds and in a relationships the men need to make sacrifices for their spouses.

The major reason people are married is not to have kids only. Marriage is supposed to be a union where the couples long for each other’s companionship. Your spouse should be your best friend. Therefore for a relationship to last long they should spend quality time together. It is proven that those couples who go out together tend to make a very long lasting relationship.

Couples need to understand one another and that is why courtship is very necessary in the marriage institution. A spouse needs to learn to listen, observe her body language and eyes contacts before making any sort of decision. The solution is to know how to deal with a nagging wife is to shun any kind of confrontation, hostility or violence. The most fundamental thing is to keep cool and be able to negotiate the problem reasonably. Dealing with a nagging wife can be a headache and challenging if she is small-minded. Nevertheless, persistence and patience and learning the tips on how to handle your wife effectively can guarantee a return of a successful marital relationship.


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    • Nyamweya profile imageAUTHOR

      Silas Nyamweya 

      21 months ago from Nairobi, Kenya


    • emge profile image


      21 months ago from Abu Dhabi

      This is a fine post with good and sane advice.


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