I can see you at 73!

if she was still alive today

my Mum would be 73,

my wee Mum Betty

now she's roaming free.

i wonder what she would be like

what she would think of me

i hope she would be proud

guess I'll never see.

she would love all my girls,

and my wife Jacqui

she loved the good life

hated anything tacky.

she was taken too soon

her life was cut down

by the evil of alcoholism

i think of it with a frown

she was loving,funny,caring,and a tiny bit mad

the fact she's gone,makes it all the more sad.

i lived her words,I looked up to her ways

got angry with family,when they criticised what she says.

for all she enjoyed the alcohol ,a bit too much

she was always with me,never lost touch.

always there when I needed to talk

if needs be,we went for a walk.

always lifted my spirits after we had spoken

her loyalty and trust was never broken.

i picture her today,doting over my girls

spoiling them rotten,she'd love my girls.

i can't help feeling,the worlds missed out

on a loving granny,I know this without doubt.

kindness,affection,helpful and true

i see her face each day,feel rather blue.

i hope she's happy,wherever she ended up going

the hardest part,is the not knowing.

not knowing where her spirit finally went

is she happy now,anger was never meant

we had crossed words,now and again

we never parted,she was my true best friend.

the picture is tinged with sadness,the two family members were taken from me far too early.my brother Thomas was quite recent,only in 2010. im still struggling as to why he left our family.one day there,next day gone.its too clinical.its never fair when you lose family,sadly it's an inevitable part of everyone's life.

mum you meant so much to us all

we still cry often when we think of your fall.

felt helpless,felt useless,tried to help

i really did try,you needed better help.

professional,clinical,surgical or other

i think of the IFFS ,gives me bother.

could I have done more,got you to hospital quicker

my memory thinned out,drama was thicker.

everything is great ,when you get a second chance

i wish for a do over,I'd love a second chance.

my Mum dies a long time ago now,over twenty years ago.its still as fresh as the day it happened,only difference is my feelings have slightly mellowed over the years.when it first hit,I couldn't talk or be in anyone's company.now I can talk about how amazing she was,and can say it whilst being very proud of what she achieved in her very short life.

i often think if I could have helped her more,did I encourage her drinking at any point.living with an alcoholic is an up and down existence.i constantly think back to that time ,and go over every detail.i still come to the same conclusion even after all this time,I just couldn't help her.alcohol had kidnapped her from me and was too selfish to give her back.

my Mum and my brother Thimas fought like cat and dog,he was always testing her patience.then once he got found out,it was quite literally like a war starting.lots of shouting,furniture flying,voices screeching,then the inevitable eerie peace.it never lasted long,Thomas had a bad habit of irritating my Mum,she was determined to put him on the straight and narrow.sometimes with success,more often failure.she never gave up on him.a true Mum.

one insurmountable fact I think of each day.they may have had faults,they had good points.if I had a choice, I would love to live the fights again.at least then I would still have them in my life.opportunities missed.

gone, but not forgotten

life justice,often rotten

take the wrong people

leave all the bad

keeps the world in balance,

its really quite sad.

goodness fails,evil wins

good people get taken

even if they had no sins.