ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

IF WE HAVE TO BE STRANGERS

Updated on August 21, 2019

If I say am okay I'd be lying, the only reason I'd say that is not to worry nobody and because am still trying to hold in the tears, really.
.
I saw a man and a woman holding hands with their kid and all I could think about was ' That could have been us' . In truth am pretty about everything , I over think and that's just me, I don't seem to change even when I lie to myself that it's gonna be okay, or I'll find another and it will be like nothing ever happened.
.
Is that I never said that "I love you" enough or I just never called to check up on you like you wanted.
.
I swear I didn't know what pain was till we were no more. I didnt know what pain was until my friends asked me to delete your photos as the first step of moving on. I honesty didn't know what heartbreak meant until I had to read the promises and the vows we'd made. I didn't know heartbreak until I had to delete all the conversations like the years before meant nothing.
They also told me that time heals, but I need more than just time to get over you .
.
I'll need more than overdoses of portions to at least help me go a day without without thinking about you or the moments we had together.
Have done stuff I never thought I'd ever do, all in the name of washing the pain away, but none seems to work.
When its about you am always sober even when I don't wanna be sober.
.
My problem is I always think that moments last forever , and when everything is going great I seem to get lost in the time and when I wake, it's all gone. Quickly, faster than lightening striking a tree down..
.
And I'd be lying if I said am over you, because every single day seems like the first day without you.
.
.
But I'll try understand that you are more happy on the other side of the pasture. I'll try understand that things are better and you are at peace.. I'll try understand that the heart wants what it wants, just not in my case.
I'll try understand that what's meant to be will just be
.
.
I still wash pain away with more pain, like watching you hold hands with him. Give him the smile that was always meant for me. Kiss him like you used to do me. Listen to you say you love him like nothing else matters.
.
.
And in good faith, I wish you the best and happiest of life. I hope he treats you better, I hope he's worth the pain I swallow daily...
I hope he is Mr right..
I hope he is everything I never was...
..
..sincerely.
.. But deep deep inside , I will always love you. And I'll always look out for you even if we seem to be just strangers for now..
..

© 2019 Amani Utembu

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image

      Danlai 

      4 weeks ago

      That's good bro. It's fantastic

      Keep it going bro

    • Amani Utembu profile imageAUTHOR

      Amani Utembu 

      4 weeks ago from Nairobi -Kenya

      @ Brenda.. Thank you my good friend, am always waiting for your comments..

      .

      Deleting pics and messages is okay, the hard part is trying to tell your heart that it's gonna be okay...

      .

      Thanks for commenting.

    • Amani Utembu profile imageAUTHOR

      Amani Utembu 

      4 weeks ago from Nairobi -Kenya

      @ Brenda.. Thank you my good friend, am always waiting for your comments..

      .

      Deleting pics and messages is okay, the hard part is trying to tell your heart that it's gonna be okay...

      .

      Thanks for commenting.

    • Amani Utembu profile imageAUTHOR

      Amani Utembu 

      4 weeks ago from Nairobi -Kenya

      thank you Lorna for having time to read this.. I appreciate it..

    • Amani Utembu profile imageAUTHOR

      Amani Utembu 

      4 weeks ago from Nairobi -Kenya

      @ Adnan.. Thanks for reading this, means so much. Thank you for the great comment

    • Brenda Arledge profile image

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      4 weeks ago from Washington Court House

      I can feel the pain within your words. It is so hard to let someone you love leave your heart, especially when he or she doesn't even seem too care.

      Deleting pictures and text may be helpful for some, but it will always be a part of your life which cannot be erased.

      Good write.

    • Lorna Lamon profile image

      Lorna Lamon 

      4 weeks ago

      Such a sadness in this poem which tells the story of heartbreak.

    • profile image

      Carol1 

      4 weeks ago

      Aaaaww,.. how i wish heartbroken kinds to say this to the one breaking their hearts and they respond positively and start another move.. because getting over them is such hell hole..

      Great piece sweee

    • HexAegon profile image

      Adnan 

      4 weeks ago from Earth, Universe

      This verse carries so much pain , and presents a bouquet of emotions...and it's absolutely true that we are never really able to let go the person we truly love...they still remain in our heart, which looks for their presence again...Thank for sharing this great verse Amani !!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)