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I'll Take Two Please

Updated on November 1, 2011

Oh damn I forgot what the hell I was going to order

Standing here in this damn line waiting for my number to be called

Looked over to my left and spotted an old ex, gee he sure wasn't aging well

Turned my head quickly I was in no mood for trips back down memory lane

Tapping my foot impatience setting in

Can’t they get the order right the poor lady standing in front

Of me has order twice; oh yeah now I remember

It was a number four

Started humming a song in my head, when I felt the light touch

On my leg

You still got the prettiest legs in town

I swung around knocking his hand away to his side

If looks could kill he’d be six feet under

Who gave him the right to invade my space?

It’s been a long time baby glad to see you ain’t

Lost your touch

Fortunate for him I left my gun in the car

Ignoring him my attention refocused on the

Lady who was still arguing with the girl

At the counter, calling her dumb bi**es, and

How in the hell did she get this job

Come on, come on I’m saying to myself

What you buying me baby, he flunked English and was he crazy

Go away nuisance fly I swatted at the air

He leaned over and whispered in my ear,

Get it to go and we can go back to your place and

Have a little show…..and tell, you show me the goodies and I’ll

Tell you how good they look .”

Did I have fooled tattooed across my forehead?

Next, please let her call next in line

That wasn’t going to happen any time soon

The manager came out the old lady in front

Just punch the girl in her chest

The girl was crying, the old lady was cussing up

A storm, all I wanted to do was order the number four

Why was there only one window open?

Its time like this I wish my damn micro- wave oven

Worked maybe this was a sign, I shouldn’t be standing

here in this line

My Ex was in full swing pouring on the bull sh**

The cops were called and hauled the old lady off

Still cussing out the poor girl who the manger sent home

Finally some action my turn had arrived

“May I help you?”

“Let me have a number four please”

I looked back at my ex what the hell, “I’ll take two please.”


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    • Gerg profile image

      Gerg 5 years ago from California

      Funny. And realistic. And I also didn't expect that ending! Nicely done, ek ~


    • neeleshkulkarni profile image

      neeleshkulkarni 7 years ago from new delhi

      the exes never age well do they wheras our legs remain the same or grow prettier- lollll

      he got his way ultimately did'nt he so probably hasnt lost his touch.hehehehehe

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 7 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      I'm with Lady Guinevere, what a great twist, very funny and relatable.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 7 years ago from West By God

      Ha! I wasn't expecting that ending. Good hub.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      A delay led to an familiar renewal,a charming note to a realistic moment,Ek Ellis.;)

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 7 years ago from Great Britain

      Sometimes modern life stinks. You made this really funny , though. *i'm always relieved i've left my gun in the car... l'd be locked up by now, otherwia.

      Great hub. Thanks