- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
Is He a tool?
Usually only He thinks He looks cool
Identify a tool
This is a quick multiple choice quiz to designed to help you identify tools.
1. What color is his shirt?
- a. Pink
- b. bright or neon colors
- c. no shirt
- d. average shirt
2. What type of collar does his shirt have? (skip if answer to number one is c)
- a. Collar flipped up
- b. wifebeater undershirt
- c. covered by a scarf
- d. average shirt
3. Is he wearing sunglasses at night or inside of a building?
4. His facial hair is:
- a. Jaw line
- b. skinny stache
- c. goattee
- d. clean shave
- e. Jesus Beard
5. The Jeans he is wearing are:
- a. skinny jeans
- b. jynco wide leg jeans
- c. pair of relaxed fit jeans
- d. ripped up guns n roses lookin jeans
- e. way too baggy
section 2 Facebook
Make a quick escape with you girlfriend and hit the bathroom, while in the bathroom use his first and last name to facebook him.
6. Is his profile public?
7. How many female friends does he appear to have?
- a. seems equal in ratio to male friends
- b. 15-30 females
- c. none
- d. 300 or more
8. How many pictures does he have of himself on his profile?
- a. less than 10
- 20- 30
- over 70
9. What type of comments do his female friends post on his profile?
- a. "<3"
- b. "thanks for last night"
- c. "i love you"
- d. "hey how are you?"
Section 3 (after bathroom break)
10. When you come out of the Bathroom he is:
- a. talking to his friend
- b. hanging on another woman
- c. obviously waiting on you
- d. just enjoying the atmosphere
11. When you start talking to him again does he:
- a. make some sexist comment about you being in the bathroom?
- b. offer to buy you a drink
- c. ask you to go home with him
- d. nice casual conversation with no signs of expectations
Being a single woman in today's society can be hard...I know, I know...most men think it is easier to be a woman and find a date, than it is to be a man searching for a date. Okay while I will give you partial credit for that, it isn't necessarily true. Yes, women are approached more often than men are but let's think about what type of men approach women.
These guys might all dress different but they all have the same walk or what is currently being referred to as "swagger". The guy that has that sly "every-woman-wants-me-smile" and when he walks up to you to ask you if "you want a drink?", you have a hard time believing that his head was able to fit through the door. He automatically starts complimenting the way you look, and we really like flattery (don't pretend that you don't like it) almost as much as chocolate.
You might not recognize he is a tool yet...some guys have a tool bag personality creeping around the corners of this ultimate nice-guy personality. So how to do you decipher between the real nice-guys and the tool in a sheeps clothing? Here are a few quick ways to tell.
You have to think quick (most men decide whether or not he will ask you out on a date within the first 8 minutes of an encounter, this means you need to figure out if he is a tool before he asks you out). When you shake hands, and introduce yourself make sure you get his first and last name, remember it you will need it. Next how old are you and how old does he appear? If it seems like there is a ten year difference between your ages, walk away he is a tool. He preys on the inexperience of young women such as yourself to get dates. If you have a fresh from mommies house with a wallet full of daddies money young man eying you up then avoid eye contact unless you are looking to adopt a child.
He seems within your age range (no more than 3 years older or 3 years younger than you) so now you start with the typical questions. The questions are in the column to your right.
Hopefully this will help you in the world of dating.
1. If the answer to number one is (a) then you need to be cautious as in some cultures this is a sign of a tool but in others it is a sign of sensitivity. if the answer is (b) he is mostly likely coming to ask you where you bought your shoes. If the answer was (c) you have clearly been spotted by a tool, make a quick exit. If the answer was (d) breathe, he might be just an average guy.
2. If the answer was (a) collar up, tool bag alert, avoid all eye contact and conversation. If the answer is (b) wifebeater, this is another form of the classic tool again you should kick off your heels and run. If the answer is (c) covered by a scarf, honey he wants to give you make up advice. If the answer is (d) average shirt, cool he is not into impressing people and might be worth the time it takes to have a conversation.
3. If the answer to #3 was yes, girl, this guy is a tool. You no longer need to answer any of the questions.
4. If his a facial hair is (a) he spends way too much time in front of a mirror and will be an obstacle when you have to get ready for work all-the-while being a tool, (b) this man believes himself to be a villain so you should run, (c) goatee he is the average guy that still grooms himself while trying to remain cool and rugged, (d) this man is not one to fuss over himself but still wants to look fresh and clean, and last but not least (e) men who wear the Jesus beard scream out "hello new world, I want no part of you" you might be able to pluck snacks out of his beard to curb hunger pains during makeout sessions although I recommend this man as just a friend.
5. Oh wow the jeans say a lot about men these days. If the answer is (a) this a tool trying to fit in with the "in" crowd at the cost of his manhood...he must be avoided, (b) this poor fellow has no clue that we are out of the 90's and might have a drug addiction...run, (c) relaxed fit, there actually still nice guys out there and these men do not conform to modern fads...keep talking, (d) ripped up jeans were out but seem to be coming back into style again, you might want to watch out for a possibly abusive male, (e) way too baggy, these guys are trying to hard to prove they are "hard-core" truthfully they impress no one.
6.Is his profile public? if yes, wow this guy wants everyone to know who he is, and have an easy time connecting their profile (among other things) to his, watch out girlie.
7. This speaks volumes. If (a) this man is a friendly guy with no need to continuously be the object of attention for females, (b) he obviously only speaks to people he values, good for you that he approached you, (c) none, this man is using you as a training female to see if he can handle conversations with the opposite sex, after building confidence he might ditch you, (d) what a playa, honey this guy wants to have options and plenty of them, he is hoping they will each play a part in stroking his massive ego, in other words he is a tool.
8. If the answer is (a) he is humble and you should get to know him, (b) well at least he likes himself which is always good for a relationship, (c) he might be a serial killer who doesn't want his image out there for the public, you know for those wanted posters, (d) wow he loves himself more than he will ever love you, you guessed it he is a tool watch out for this guy he will try and most likely succeed at stealing your heart as he is very confident.
9. what do the other girls say to him? (a) he might just be flirty in that friendly way or he could be a playa be careful, (b) this guy is a playa with no shame and a tool, do not waste your time, (c) unless this is his mother our some other relative you need to walk away before you are trapped under the glow of this tool, (d) He believes in real friendship, build on that.
10. Okay if the answer is (a) this is good behavior, (b) he really didn't care what woman was paying attention to him as long as there was a woman paying attention to him period, what a tool but thank your lucky stars that you didn't get stuck with him, (c) he was waiting for you and wants you to know it, this a tool that will end up stalking you, leave and do not accept his friends request on FB as he probably has already sent you one, (d) this man is just living in the moment and is not co-dependent on anyone to feel satisfied in life, keep on talkin.
11. what does he say to you when you come back from the bathroom break? (a) this man is a tool with no respect for women which is why he is alone and should remain that way, (b) he wants to keep the conversation going, however do not allow him to buy you more than one drink as he will try for something in return, (c) this should be a red flag that this is the ultimate tool and you should never be a booty call you are worth so much more than he could ever give you, (d) if it is just a nice conversation enjoy it as not too many men will be this nice in our day and age.