The mess hall sergeant told his troops,
“I' m here to make you jump through hoops.
The captain and his boss, our colonel,
said with stripes my rule's eternal.
So, when I tell you, peel those 'taters,
that's what you do, you sergeant-haters.”
“Beans we got here by the sack.
Cook 'em good. Don't want 'em back.
Here there's never nice hot gravy.
That's for sissies in the Navy.
Apple worms are just more meat,
No need to cook 'em – bite and eat.”
“Every morning – powdered eggs -
Make burnt toast. Boil coffee dregs.
Chopped beef makes our cream sauce greasy.
That's SOS. The makin's easy.
Lunch - bologna – fill each belly,
peanut butter with grape jelly.”
“After supper - midnight mess,
daily leavings, more, or less.
You'll stay awake and right in line.
When mess tastes bad, it works real fine.
So listen, men – do what I say.
This mess hall stuff – it ain't no play.”
“You all went through this mess hall training -
sunshine, snow, fog - real hard raining.
Our chow is not to make 'em fat.
Eat real fast - that's where it's at.
This stuff I tell you – ain't it grand?
It's alimentary. Understand?”