ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

It's still all your fault!

Updated on November 15, 2010

I wasn't gonna write another one of these hubs because some people said my last one was clumsy, badly written, in poor taste, downright insulting, supercilious, nonsensical, childish, malicious, caustic garbage as well as foolish gibberish.

It was the "foolish gibbersh" comment that fired me up!

It's not my fault I have an addictive personality with anti-social tendencies, which means I not only enjoy blaming others, but feel totally compelled to do so!

All the more so now that some friends have pointed out to me that the other hub "It's all your own fault" was complete crap.

Naturally I immediately thought. "I can write worse crud than that!" and took it as a challenge.

I don't like to be hard on others, but hell, some people are just too tempting by being such wimblewomblers!.

I would like to tell you that you are the exception, but you're not!

It's still all your fault and as I said before it's high time someone better than you said so!

I was just a baby when I realized "hey I'm better than that other kid over there" and someone needed to know about it, especially the kid in question.

I have always been better than you, it's just that I've been so incredibly modest and retiring about it that it has gone mostly unnoticed until now. That and the fact that you never listen!

I have kept my awesomeness and your lack of it to myself.(Almost.)

I say almost in consideration of the lousy number of you who read my first one!

I dunno, some people just don't want help when it's offered!

I was gonna finish off with stuff about me, but as I would need 3 rolls of toilet paper just for the main things I am better at than anyone else, I thought I'd be modest and just say,

It's all your own fault you're not as good as me!

See below for positive proof.


Thought i'd finished did ya? Not bloody likely mate!

You need to know how many words to put in so your hub is not judged "sub-standard"

Ya know, like most of your hubs should be!

So anyway, with a few white spaces and a bit of senseless babble it may get up around 500 words one day and be trampled by Google with offers of giga moolah!

Of course I wont have to speak to anyone I know anymore then.

Hell! I may even snub myself!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 6 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I just thought I should drop in and remind you that it's still all your fault!

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      SweetiePie, it's all your fault I am learning to draw, so I get to include you here!

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Like when someone says something so passionately that I find myself grated by it. I take responsibility for that, and my tempestuous emotions of the moment will get me right on a trajectory, but oh well. It is really not that big of a deal in the end lol.

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you Quilligrapher! I guess the gigs up!

      I knew someone would get on to my prayer collection scam some day! Darn it!

      I can fly without the rot in hell prayers, some of the others floated my boat if you know what I mean.

      As soon as I realized how truly great I was, I knew I could do worse than the first hub!

      I wish your dream would come true, that is how generous I am. But unfortunately you'll never make it.

      I always felt that Marge Simpson's mum had it nailed when she said that to Marge.

      Such a wise woman. :) I never know who to admire most, Marge's mum?........... or mother Teresa.

    • Quilligrapher profile image

      Quilligrapher 7 years ago from New York

      Nice hub Earnest. You are so talented, you obviously didn’t need to spend a lot of time cranking it out. Fortunately, effort and preparation are not a big part of the hub score algorithm. I’m soooo impressed by your ability to pat yourself on the back! You must have very long arms. All of your achievements are, no doubt, due to all the hubbers who are praying for you. My one dream is to one day reach your level of greatness.

      Q.

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I know, I know! I am just amazing!

      I just wanted to say some people will never amount to much so it's good for them to have someone to look up to!

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 7 years ago from Australia

      Well done Ern one can get a duck in the first innings, then come out and crack a century in the second. Move over Sir Donald (Australian cricket great) as sir Ern is at the crease and smashing sixes. Cheers

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      As you know oliversmum, although Cecil B. was right in saying, "you will never go broke underestimating the taste of the general public"

      I would never say anything like that.......... It may upset someone!

    • oliversmum profile image

      oliversmum 7 years ago from australia

      earnestshub Hi... Yes it looks like 'crassness' and 'poor taste' will beat 'class' any day :) :)

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      It's sellin like hot spuds on a cold night oliversmum!

      My poor taste and crassness wins the day!

    • oliversmum profile image

      oliversmum 7 years ago from australia

      earnestshub. Hi. Well 'some people' have a nerve, Most times it pays to think before you type.

      Its a great hub, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

      You accepted the challenge and hell's bell's you came out the winner. Good on you. :) :)

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Hi hello, hello. I deleted that one. Then I went and fixed the typo! :)

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      I loved this one and all your other hubs. So you tell them the next time. Is somebody doing the round because I had some nasty comments put ontwo of my hubs about my grammar. Thank you for a good laugh.

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I must say I have no idea what a wimblewombler is either!

      But there goes another one!

    • profile image

      mtsi1098 7 years ago

      I am not sure what a wimblewomblers is but the read was fun...thanks

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      A lovely tribute!

      My retirement is a bit ongoing, I retired the first time when I was 9. I hadn't made any money, I just decided to retire.

      I retired again at 19 because I thought "someone will see my greatness and give me money so I can relax."

      This time I am even better prepared with my adsense earnings sure to reach phenomenal heights any minute now!

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      I'm baking you a (belated) retirement cake! With out emu dung icing... sorry.

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Wyanjen, I have had more hits than Babe Ruth!

      I should have retired by about Wednesday. :)

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Finally genius acknowledged. You'll notice it took a Canadian to do that!

      Uninvited, unloved, unresolved, unrepentant, yet able to show the truth about a simple and humble man from a better country away from the Americans who crowd to become his followers.

      May the Canadian Mounting police not mount your camels uninvitedwriter!

      It is Canada with all the wild camels yes?

      Anyway whatever greeting or salutation you are used to.

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I dealt with your comment on my other work of art Nell. Don't go all habitual on me and make me do it again! :)

      and please NO MORE LAUGHING! This is serious!

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 7 years ago from Cabin Fever

      Haha...good one! :D

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 7 years ago from England

      Hi, you sound like my brother! ha ha the only difference is that he really believes it! the thing is, there can only be one perfect person per household, and, well, that's me! simple as that, well, maybe not....! great laugh, thanks nell

    • Uninvited Writer profile image

      Susan Keeping 7 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

      This is true art...may it earn you a million dollars.

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      You're all going to hell in a handbasket I tells ya Mark!

      I love the bi-polar ads Candie.

      I just wish the world was lucky enough to have more than just the pair of me!

      That's easy for you to say Eric! although maybe you get interrupted quite a lot come to think of it.

      I only ever answer the head on the Left for some reason. :)

    • Mark Knowles profile image

      Mark Knowles 7 years ago

      You religious nuts really crack me up. LOL

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Right now my ads are for bi-polar disorder! Hahahaha!

    • Mighty J-Kep profile image

      Mighty J-Kep 7 years ago from Austria

      LOL! Eat more bran? I'm seeing a Google ad for General Mills Whole Grain cereals on this hub right now.

      Love it! HA

      Don't spend your giga moohlah all in one spot :D

      (wyanjen)

    • Eric Graudins profile image

      Eric Graudins 7 years ago from Australia

      Not bad for a mainlander!

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      OY! Maybe try it with a diff side-dish? Like a potato?

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      So .... cut back on the emu dung or what?

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Hmmmm... You are low on fibre! Eat more bran and you'll be back to yourself soon.. whatever that means!

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I know, I know! So many needs to fill, so little time and space left after taking the time to consider even a small bit of my own greatness!

      And you are right of course about me being beautiful, the perfection is as natural as the beauty too!

    • earnestshub profile image
      Author

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      This was so stupendous that when I read it back to myself I was so impressed I didn't even talk to myself for a good 10 minutes. I felt so important I thought "Why would I bother with that low-life!"

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      I have a tear in my eye! *sniff* This was beautiful! You are beautiful! And so dang perfect! I'd ask to be a humble slave.. but alas I'm too far away.. *sniff*

    • qwark profile image

      qwark 7 years ago

      Hahahaha...Earn, I love it! Spoken with verve, vigor and honesty!

      Man being born "equal" is pure, putrid, bull shite!

      About my fellow man? I feel the same as you!

      Thumbs up!!!

      Qwark