A Book You Should Never Read
A Book No One Should Ever Read
I have a basic rule of thumb when it comes to reading books and that is: Start what I finish. I don't know if it's my mildly obsessive compulsive nature or if it's my fear that by not finishing a book I will end up missing out on something potentially great. The only book I remember intentionally not finishing was one of Alexander McCall Smith's stupid detective books, which was so dreadfully boring and poorly written, I nearly died while reading it. However, he is apparently a well respected author who has sold far more books then I, so his drivel must sit well with a number of folks.
I would have gladly read all of Alexander McCall Smith's books, if it had meant that Whistle by James Jones had never been written. Whistle, also a classic and the third book in James Jones' World War Two Trilogy (The first two being From Here to Eternity and The Thin Red Line - Both of which were adapted into wonderful films) is perhaps the only book I have ever read, that made me feel dumber for having read it (Note: since writing this, I have read James Franco's debut short story collection, which is the biggest waste of time and asinine drivel ever put to ink and paper) and I really would have considered suing the author for the time I lost reading it, were it not for the fact that James Jones actually died while writing this hunk of crap. Let that be a warning sign to you all- if the author can't survive writing it, how on earth will you survive reading it?
So, what makes Whistle so terrible? I'm glad you asked. For starters, it's 452 looooong pages and it's poorly paced. The four main characters- Johnny Strange, Marion Landers, Lt. Winch and Bobby Prell- are indiscernible. They have been wounded in the War and are at the hospital ward recovering from their various wounds- physical, mental and emotional. Great premise, with tons of potential and, handled by an author with a modicum of skill, could have been terrific.
The four identical characters, are all assholes who cheat on their wives/girlfriends throughout the text. They are all foul mouthed, they are all drunks, they are all utterly unlikable and I found. myself rooting against them- and, Jones does such a poor job telling the story- that I didn't even know what i was rooting against. I just knew by the end (spoiler alert) when all the characters were either dead or in the loony bin, that I was happy that these characters would no longer be roaming the face of the literary world.
The second major issue, and I'm not puritan- not by any means-was the graphic sexual nature of the story. Roughly two hundred pages of the book are used to discuss oral sex- the desire to perform, the desire to receive it and graphic depictions of it. While I am certainly not opposed to a good sex scene, Jones' obsession with it actually brings the story to a grinding (not pun intended) halt and is completely unnecessary to the furtherance of the story. The scenes are neither erotic nor artful. They are simply a waste of time and energy to read. They are simply there as filler, the lingering desires of a dirty old man.
In the authors own notes at the front of the book, he says that Whistle was going to say everything that he had to say about humanity and the horrors of war. All that Whistle said to me was that Jones was a horny old man who should have spent his twilight years making love to his wife instead of writing this horrific travesty of a novel.
There are better war novels out there, including the first two book in Jones' own trilogy.
Why this book is considered a classic, I have no idea. Can someone explain this to me?
Thanks for Reading.
Books you SHOULD Read
Comments
Actually, I read this trilogy and while Whistle does not measure up to the other two, itis a valuable book about the aftermath of men returning from a horrirble war, glad to be alive, suffering from survivor' s guilt, and scarred for life by the experience that the civilians around them can't grasp.
Don't know the book but it doesn't sound like it was a fun read in any respect!!!
Same here. Now I am protected from such drivel. Thanks!
Thanks for the warning. great Hub
If you remember his intro, he said,"You are . . . "
I said,"No I'm not. C-ya."
"if the author can't survive writing it, how on earth will you survive reading it?" Why take a chance.
I am no good at political stuff. I am an Independent and you can't avoid buzz words that trigger everyone's anger. I tried reading Glen Beck's book, "Common Sense" a direct rip-off of Thomas Paine (to dead to sue). I didn't make it half way through the intro. A friend gave me a book by Michael Moore. I made it through three pages. He is full of Black Cow, too. No wonder we are in a mess.
I know what you mean about sticking it out. "The Fixer", Bernard Malamud. The trudging style in the beginning set the atmosphere of the bleak existence of the main character. It picked up.
I will take your advice and not read it. Sorry you nearly lost your life during the reading of it! Lol. voted funny
Wow great write! and thanks for the well umm... info , i will say ..LOL i voted all the way up except beautiful of course , i loved this , it was great !:) and i wont read it either !
Thanks I am the same,
when I start to read something I have to finish it and there have been a few that I could have done without reading.
I'll take your advice on this one.
Thanks for the heads up (no pun intended)-I'll take your word for it. Interesting analysis about this man being a dirty, old man, aka 'horny teenager'. You're probably onto something Freudian here.
REgardless, he had two good writes, and one wrong one. I guess he can RIP (?)
Thanks for sharing your views on this subject.
Thanks for the "thumbs down" on this book. I read a lot, like pretty much everybody on hubpages I assume, but I too feel compelled to finish what I start. In fact I can only think of one book that I didn't finish. Not surprisingly, I can't even remember the name. It wandered a lot and the characters never came alive.
I love the sarcasm in this piece. I like the intro about finishing what you start or risking -perhaps- missing something potentially great. Haha!
Good advice, now I'll give you one....
can't think of any.
I read a lot--so I think I might take a pass on this one
Well, sounds like a dreadful book! I will avoid it.
I love Alexander McCall Smith's #1 Ladies Detective Agency series, and I have read a few of his others and found them pleasant. I think all of his books really fall under the heading of "ladies' reading". I don't think they were written with male readers in mind.
Voted up & interesting! :)
I read a lot of books, so thanks for the heads up. I must compuslively finish any book I start no matter how horrible it is. If I am ever inclined to read overwrought, over detailed writing I'll go back and reread Interview with a Vampire again.
I've never read it and if I should come across it, I won't!
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