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~Life Commanded Me~

Updated on August 8, 2017

Prologue

Occasionally life forces us to make decisions which are sometimes hard to bare, yet eventually life commands us to do whats right and fair.


`Changes in life

I tried to reinvent this perfect world away from kaos and confusion, hidden beneath layers of fatal lies and disillusion.

Yet I found the more I ran away from life the more life reeled me in, every door I tried to jam, life shoved through and said here I am!

Every window I tried to slam, life shattered the very conscious within, leaving
a broken dam of emotions flooding my inner soul, evoking distant memories, forcing my soul to unfold. To find a way through the catacomb of time life! had commanded me.

But the past wasn't done with me yet, unresolved issues and sullen regrets begin to cascade down the boulders of my heart, like a broken silhouette in the wind demanding I let them in.

Unwed pregnancy, infidelity, promiscuous sex, low self esteem had even joined the team, in a run down shack on a road of broken dreams,

yet to me I was the ghetto queen or so it seem, living ghetto fabulous on the ghetto scene, draped from head to toe with name brand clothes from discount stores, bound by streets of fantasy, trapped in a world of poverty.

I dine'd on everything I could get my hands on, at least everything the ghetto could offer me, even had my own cliché on occasions when my heart or ego needed an overhaul that day, "Two wrongs don't make us right but it dam sure make us even, and if you ain't doing it my way, brotha your leaven".

Yes! so I thought I was living large and in charge, but my life was totally flawed and I was the only one who couldn't see humanities bars.

So I reinvented this perfect world away from kaos and confusion, still life in its infamous way came knocking. I stood there in silence as I opened the door, to face the rage that had kept me caged.

Lunged at the pain that once stole my peace, released tears that had became a permanent acquaintance before life would set me free, I had to face my own deep scars in the depth of my own memories, life! had commanded me.

(©)copyright;KarenRussell


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    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 6 years ago

      @MENTALIST... THANK YOU FOR SHARING MY JOURNEY & TAKING THE TIME TO RESPOND, I'M HONORED YOU DROPED BY, HOTEP!

    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 6 years ago

      @Nikkij504gurl... THE PAST IS THE ROOT OF OUR EXISTENCE, IN ORDER TO MOVE FORWARD WE MUST FACE THE PAST HEAD ON, EMBRACE IT, LEARN FROM IT, RECOVER, THEN ONLY WILL WE BE ABLE TO MOVE OWN A BETTER PERSON WITH A STRONGER HEART & MIND... SOME PEOPLE AREN'T ABLE TO SEVER THEMSELVES FROM THE PAST, THEY WEAR THEIR WOUNDS ON THE OUTSIDE & ARE SMOTHERED BY THEM ON THE INSIDE, SOMETIMES BY SHARING OUR OWN STRUGGLES & PAINS WE ARE ABLE TO RELEASE OURSELVES FROM THE PAST & HELP OTHERS HEAL & RECOVER FROM WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH, THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE IT ALLOWED ME TO SPEAK TO OTHERS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUFFERING IN SILENCE & MAYBE SOMEONE IS READING THIS HUB & IS UPLIFTED... HOTEP!

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Hitory of mystery seems to need this artistic ability you have to register its reality on the present...great words Karen.;)

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 6 years ago from Louisiana

      the past is in the past, learn from it and let it be.

    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 7 years ago

      THANKS, I'M GLAD YOU FINALLY MADE IT OVER...R.K./LP

    • profile image

      Darren 7 years ago

      LOVE this poem Karen!

    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 7 years ago

      YOU ARE SO WELCOME, I ALWAYS HOPE I CAN TOUCH SOMEONE THROUGH MY POETRY BY COMBINING HUMOR WITH REALITY BUT, SOME TIMES ONE OUT WEIGHS THE OTHER, THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ IT...R.K./LP

    • profile image

      KellyEngaldo 7 years ago

      You spoke to my very soul this morning. It is time for me to close a door. Thank you for helping with that very heavy door.

    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 7 years ago

      THANKS! REGROUPING & REJOICING!...R.K./LP

    • profile image

      poetlorraine 7 years ago

      nice poem. how are you now

    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 7 years ago

      HELLO AGAIN CAROL, AS ALWAYS, I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO TOUCH ON SO MANY SUBJECTS & DO SO APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY POETRY...R.K./LP

    • Karen Russell profile image
      Author

      Karen Russell 7 years ago

      THANK YOU PEACENHIM, I AM ALWAYS GRATEFUL TO HEAR FROM MY CO-READERS & WRITERS, IT WARMS MY SPIRIT EVERY TIME...R.K./LP

    • Carol the Writer profile image

      Carolyn Blacknall 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Wonderful poetry! You can tell your words come from the heart! Thanks for writing this. – Carol

    • profile image

      peacenhim 7 years ago

      This is really beautiful Karen. Such depth and true emotion, I can almost feel the struggle of life's toils and the eternal war within. A tug of war with the soul, until peace set you free. Beautiful!! ;-)