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Learning to Appreciate

Updated on August 26, 2018
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I don't like what I'm seeing in the mirror. All the image gets is a sigh from me. A sigh of disbelief. On some occasions, I would joke on how ugly I was as I look on my reflection in the mirror. I don't really mean it, I mean me being ugly. But what do you call a face that seems like an overripe banana with all the brown spots? My acne scars. It wasn't that bad, or maybe a little more than bad, but I'm not used to it. You see, I used to have a beautiful, clear skin and I had never experienced something like it before. I do get pimples once in a while but if I do, that is only about one or two at a time, mostly a sign that my once in a month friend is about to visit once again.

Now it was so noticeable as this unwanted occupants seems to find their perfect place on my face. I don't know how to stop it but I know how it all begun. I noticed it all started when I keep on losing sleep. Aside from my morning case, I had worked extra hours on some nights and that's about 8 hours to 12 hours four to five days a week. But only when my office sends me to emergency cases. But with someone who's a bit of an insomniac like me, it took a toll on my face.

A few months after I'm getting used to my acne-scarred face, now I have another reason to stress myself out and give out another sigh of disbelief. And that's whenever I see my scarred body every time I get ready for a shower or change my clothes, my unwanted remembrance from suffering to what I have been told as worst case of eczema. This is what I got from not seeing the doctor earlier. I, instead decided to what I thought was just ordinary rashes to go away until it went up to my upper body. I lost count of how many times I had been poked with a needle that day when I finally decided to seek medical help. I can feel the needle every time it goes under my skin. It was probably about 30 times or more with 2 vials of medicine used on me.

Before getting help from the doctor, all I cared about is to get well, to be assured that I'd be alright. That it wasn't something serious. At those times I don't worry about the thought of getting scars as the eczema heals, I just wanted to get over it and not be bothered by it every night as I go to sleep.

I still feel bad sometimes whenever I see all the marks left on my skin, specially the biggest scars on my thigh and waist. It travels me back in time, when I was scar-less.

I am trying on a herbal remedy now to help my scars completely heal. It might take some time, or maybe a lot of time before I see results. Or it might not work at all. But now it doesn't matter if it works or not. Or if some scars disappears and some may not. These scars had taught me something. I had learned how valuable life can be and it doesn't matter how my skin had changed. It taught me to appreciate myself, even my flaws.

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    • precy anza profile imageAUTHOR

      precy anza 

      4 years ago from USA

      @ DDE:

      You're so right, I agree on that. And I learned that on this. :) My acne is a lot better now, enough sleep is my rescue.

    • precy anza profile imageAUTHOR

      precy anza 

      4 years ago from USA

      @ DDE:

      You're so right, I agree on that. And I learned that on this. :) My acne is a lot better now, enough sleep is my rescue.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Learn to be yourself and appreciate what you have and who you are what comes from within counts for more than what is on the outside.

    • precy anza profile imageAUTHOR

      precy anza 

      5 years ago from USA

      Hi Vellur :) It will, just needs time :) Thanks for stopping by.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      5 years ago from Dubai

      Beauty lies deep within, not by the looks or your skin. Your condition will improve. Follow your dermatologist advice and take care.

    • precy anza profile imageAUTHOR

      precy anza 

      5 years ago from USA

      Aww.. Thanks Drbj ^-^' Doesn't bother me now. But with the aloe, it's taking time but I noticed it is helping. I even got my mom into using aloe too.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      5 years ago from south Florida

      Aloe vera is a very good natural way to improve your skin and perhaps heal scars as well. Good luck with it, precy. But don't fret - with your generous, open heart, you will always be beautiful to me.

    • precy anza profile imageAUTHOR

      precy anza 

      5 years ago from USA

      They had prescribed me a cream for the eczema, but for the scars, nope. I am currently testing the healing wonders of aloevera for the scars as I read it heals scars, burns, etc. I had stopped the cream too for the aloe. And so far it's wonderful :) I was also planning to hub about aloevera once I'm done with my experiment and result. As for the acne scars, I'm also trying the aloe on my face and I think you're right about the excess oil. I really don't have an oily skin but those months, I've been taking less water, poor diet add to it the loss sleep. My brother had used Proactiv and it worked for him, I think. :)

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Precy anza, these things happen with excess oils. I had a lot of pimples when I was younger. I had VERY oily skin up until last year. I have seen the results of Proactiv that people order in the mail, and it seems to work quite well. I don't know if it will work on eczema, though. You could ask your doctor.

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