Loofah, a Short Story

Remember that scene in Dr. No where a tarantula crawls over 007's shoulder and then is summarily dispatched by one of a pair of extremely expensive Italian loafers?

Hold that thought...

At the place we rent at Sunset Beach there has always been an outdoor shower and it's a great place to wash the sea, sand, and sweat off after a day of swimming, sunning or biking.

On Monday in that shower we had a little green visitor, and he or one of his cousins was back every afternoon to share the water. Tree frogs are so cute and I thought it was cool.

On Friday I took the chair out of the shower so I could encourage Kermit to jump off and not be accidentally squished or hit with hot water. I'm such a kind person, and one with nature and all her glory.

Sort of...

You know those little plastic things you use to pour liquid bath soap on to lather up in the shower? It is called a loofah. A pink one was hanging on the cold water handle. It moved! Loofah is French for frog habitat. Who knew?

Assuming one of Kermit's cousins was snuggled up in it's dampness, I gently swatted it and a snake roughly the size of a fire hose fell to the shower floor with a frog in it's mouth!

Remember the image of Sean Connery and the tarantula? I responded exactly the same.

But first I screamed like a little girl, knocked over six bicycles, jumped both trash cans, and ran 1.3 miles to the Sunset Beach Pier.

When I got back I went all Sean Connery on the monster but not with an expensive Italian loafer. Instead, I used a short handle shovel from Home Depot.

Now comes the inevitable question: "Was it poisonous?" Translated to: "Can it hurt you?"

Immaterial. It scared me and I killed it.

Reptile lovers please send all nasty comments to me at my personal email: Ronnie@idon’tcare.com!