Lost Letters (Single Point Fiction)
It was just after 11am when Jennifer rushed to the window of her stunningly beautiful country cottage. The postman was late this morning and she began to nervously pace up and down in the living room. Outside by the railed garden gate, the honeysuckle was just beginning to blossom, and for all the distance the gate was from her open window, Jennifer heard the buzzing of the bees that were encouraged by the nectar from the closed flowers. She pondered for a moment; how long had it been since she last heard from Jonny? Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered his lovely blue eyes, but today she was sad.
Jonny had become distant during the past few months, he had become totally transient, a feature of his personality unknown to Jennifer, and she felt lost. They had been so close, soul mates forever she thought, but now she had not found any reason for his sudden change in behaviour.
Her thoughts turned to the day that Jonny came home early from work.She was playing her favourite music from the seventies, holding onto the broom handle pretending to sing. She stopped momentarily as she heard the familiar sound of his car in the driveway, and her heart sank. Jonny was the love of her life, she had known him since they were young children at the same school many years ago, and being married to him was her dream come true.Like other couples, they had their ups and downs but always bounced back. They had fought last night but had made it up with the gentle rhythm of their soul connecting love making. Jenny could feel her cheeks blush with the memories of how sensual they had been together, such an orgasmic climax she had reached laying there in Jonny’s strong muscular arms.
Jennifer remembered putting down the broom and turning down the radio, and the overpowering feeling of anguish that surged over her, as she watched silently as Jonny got out of his car; and she knew by the empty expression on his face that she was about to receive bad news.
“Jenny” the voice was Jonny’s but not how she knew it. Today his voice was void of emotion.
“Jenny, where are you,” tones of voice so cold, almost demanding.
“I’m here” Jenny whispered, “Why are you home so early?”
She watched Jonny take off his jacket and hang it over the back of the kitchen chair, then leaning forward to untie his bootlaces, nothing unusual there she observed.
Jonny lifted his face slowly upwards, looking directly into her eyes.
“I am sorry Jen, I can’t go on like this,” and then the bombshell, “I don’t love you anymore.”
Jenifer sat down at the kitchen table opposite Jonny, her tears stinging her eyes and her ears refusing to comprehend what they had just heard.
“What......, why,” her voice was barely audible over the sound of the washing machine by the back kitchen door.
Tears filled up in Jenny’s eyes again now as she painfully recalled that conversation.It was a complete blur. Jonny proceeded to talk about their relationship and how things had changed. He didn’t feel the urgency in their love making any more and the sight of her just didn’t make his heart do cart wheels now. Instead he felt tied down and unable to conquer his feelings of resentment having to return to Jennifer every night, and to the same old routine day after day, after day. He hated the fact that he felt so confined and obliged to live every moment without excitement in his life. He just wanted to escape.
Jennifer recalled how she sobbed as she watched Jonny pack his clothes and personal belongings, the watch that she had saved for months to buy him and the Saint Christopher that she had bought him for his twenty first birthday.But much worse was the pain that she remembered feeling as he slowly removed his wedding ring from his finger, and she had watched him place it on the table before he left.
Jenny had found out from a mutual friend that Jonny had moved back in with his parents, and she felt angry knowing that. She knew in her heart that Jonny had no other woman, she still trusted him to realise how he felt, and he would never sexually betray her. As every day passed by she wrote him a letter telling him how much she loved him and she would patiently wait for him to return. And every day she awaited the arrival of the post man to deliver her the news that she yearned for, Jonny loved her too and was coming home. The pain and the silence that she felt was far more than just loneliness, it was isolation and she began to fear for her own sanity. She frequently stopped to question herself, had she is some way been responsible for what had happened? But there were no answers, no answers that would console Jennifer’s mind, and the darkness was closing in.
Jennifer sat on the white painted stone step, under the archway over the front door, and in the same routine that she lived every day now, she waited for Jonny to reply. Each morning the post man slowed down and waved his hand, “Nothing today Jen, sorry love,” he smiled. And then he drove on leaving Jenny with the same desolate feelings.
She could hear the postman approaching on the gravel driveway now, and her heart stopped as he turned through her gate. She anxiously ran to get her post with the biggest smile on her face, the excitement showing in her deep brown eyes. She looked anxiously through her letters throwing one after another on the ground in front of her, until she reached the last one and recognised Jonny’s hand writing. Slowly, deliberately Jenny ran her finger inside the envelope being careful not to tear the contents. She only wanted a kind word, just one familiar word that always made her heart sing. Love, but instead she sank to the ground as the gravel bit into her knees and she winced from the pain, the tears flooding freely over her hands and she searched again for that one word, love.
I am so sorry that I haven’t been in touch with you sooner. I have been busy adjusting to my life as a single man again. I never meant to hurt you, but I am sure you realise that leaving you was for the best. I simply needed something extra in my life.
Be pleased for me that I have finally found what I was looking for. I could never have made you happy, or fulfilled like I am now. Please keep the house, you are welcome to stay for as long as you wish, and remember you will always hold a special place in my heart. Keep my phone number safe and never be afraid to call me if you are in need. I remember the times that we have spent together with fondness, but I can’t offer you anything else.
I am willing to grant you a divorce.
Jenny sat in the driveway turning Jonny’s letter over and over in her hand. Her mind raced to the last time that they had made love. It was enchanting, miraculous and spectacular, but not what Jonny had looked for.
Jonny was looking for a spiritual relationship, that majestic connection you have when two minds join as one.